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Consent Isn’t Enough: The Harsh Truth About “Sex Work”

Beyond the Glamour: The Dark Reality of the Sex Industry

Welcome back to Taste of Truth Tuesdays. Today’s episode is one that I’ve both been eager and hesitant to share. While I’ve spoken about my journey through faith, fitness and personal transformation that there’s one chapter I’ve largely kept private until now….

For most of my life, I was fed a specific narrative: go to college, get a degree, build a career, and don’t worry about prioritizing marriage or family. Financial independence was the ultimate goal.

After graduating college, I moved from Virginia to Portland, Oregon, to chase my career as a personal trainer, lifestyle coach, and professional circus performer. My income relied on clientele, and while I had busy seasons, nothing was ever truly stable. But with inconsistent income and the ever-present pressure to make ends meet, I found myself in a space that many glamorize but few truly understand—the world of sugar dating.

At first, it didn’t seem that different from the casual dating I was already doing—except now, dinner was covered, and there was a financial incentive. But the deeper I got, the more I realized how unstable and unsafe it was. Most of these men didn’t care about you as a person; they just wanted no-strings-attached access to your body. And when I found myself in situations where I wasn’t in control—where boundaries were ignored, protection was negotiable, and at times, I left empty-handed even after doing my part—I started to see the cracks in the ‘empowerment’ narrative. I remember one night, sitting in my car after being verbally and physically assaulted, I realized I had no one to report it to. No way to warn the next woman. That’s when the illusion fully shattered for me.

That’s why today’s conversation is so important. I’m joined by Sloane Wilson from Exodus Cry, an organization dedicated to exposing the truth about sexual exploitation and advocating for survivors. We’re unpacking the hard truths about the sex industry, the myths that keep women trapped in it, and the cultural shifts that have normalized what should never be considered “just work.”

But we’re also diving into something deeper, faith. Both Sloane and I have gone through our own journeys of deconstruction and reconstruction. She’s seen firsthand how the church can mishandle encountering survivors and how delicate and complex these situations can be.

The Reality of “Sugar Dating”

Some nights felt harmless—like having dinner with a businessman who just wanted company and conversation. But most nights? They were anything but that. The truth is, the fantasy of sugar dating—mutually beneficial, long-term arrangements with financial stability—was just that: a fantasy. Most men weren’t offering monthly allowances or ongoing support. They wanted pay-per-meet agreements—no strings attached, no safety net, just transactional sex. And when survival depended on it, I found myself scrambling to secure the next “daddy.”

I struggled to assert myself, especially in two key areas: insisting on protection and ensuring I was paid upfront. That put me at immense risk—both for my health and my safety. One night, I was forced into acts I didn’t consent to, verbally assaulted, and then left empty-handed. Sitting in my car afterward, I realized something chilling: there was no one to report it to. No way to warn the next girl. No system to hold these men accountable.

Some men had hidden home cameras, recording our time together without my consent. Others were forceful, rough, and used sex toys in ways that crossed every boundary I had. And yet, as awful as those experiences were, I knew I was lucky—because it could have been so much worse.

Most of these men pushed to move conversations off the platform as quickly as possible, demanding explicit photos before agreeing to meet. When you’re in a financial bind, it’s hard to say no. That’s how exploitation thrives—through desperation.

The Trap of a “Luxe” Illusion

Looking back, I wonder—why didn’t I just walk away? Why couldn’t I see, from the beginning, that this wasn’t sustainable? I wasn’t like most women in the industry. I was white, college-educated, and didn’t even have student debt shackling me. My financial stress came from my own reckless spending—maxed-out credit cards and the relentless costs of bodybuilding, a sport I was pouring everything into. So why, with all the options I had, did I keep chasing this?

I think part of it was desperation. The MLM-like promise of sugar dating had me convinced that if I just worked harder, played the game right, and landed the right arrangement, I could have financial security and independence. I put more energy into curating the perfect sugar persona than I ever did into building my personal training business. And maybe, just maybe, I was chasing the mirage of someone close to me—someone who had made sugar dating “work.” I saw her succeed, and I kept believing I could, too.

But there’s another layer. One I don’t love admitting (and one my mom will absolutely deny.) My mother praised me for it. She told me, “I wish I had done this when I was your age.” That kind of validation messes with your perception of right and wrong. It made it seem like I was onto something genius, like I had cracked code other women were too scared or too moralistic to try. Was I subconsciously trying to prove something? Was I filling the void left by emotional neglect?

Or was it just my own damn fault?

That’s the thing about these choices—they never come down to just one reason. It is always more complex. It wasn’t just the financial stress. It wasn’t just my upbringing. It wasn’t just the influence of someone I admired. It was all of it, tangled together, keeping me locked in place. And it took me years to realize that no amount of effort or strategy would turn sugar dating into the safety net I desperately wanted it to be.

The Lie of “Sex Work is Work”

For a long time, I believed the mantra: “sex work is work.” It’s the rallying cry of the sex-positive movement, a phrase meant to legitimize the industry. Prostitution is often called “the oldest profession,” but historically, it has always been a last resort for survival. Women don’t enter this industry because it’s empowering. They do it because they have no better options.

The real harm in prostitution isn’t just about bad working conditions or societal stigma. It’s about dehumanization. When sex is reduced to a transaction, people become commodities. And when we treat people like products to be bought and sold, we strip them of their dignity.

Louise Perry, in The Case Against the Sexual Revolution, makes this point powerfully. She argues that the sex industry’s only real defense is a hollow, commodified version of “liberation”—one that insists, “Everyone consents, everyone is an adult, the women enjoy it, so who are you to judge?” But when consent is the only moral standard, we ignore the broader ethical issue: that people are being treated as means to an end. Consent alone does not erase coercion, exploitation, or harm.

In our postmodern culture, we’ve rejected objective morality and replaced it with a consumerist approach to sex. If both parties “agree,” then anything goes. But this is a dangerous slope—one that allows predatory men to exploit desperate women under the guise of empowerment.

Insights from Recent Research

New research exposes the blurred lines between sugar dating and traditional sex work. A study published in The Journal of Sex Research found that over one-third of sugar babies have engaged in other forms of transactional sex work, such as escorting or stripping. This challenges the narrative that sugar dating is different or “classier” than prostitution. The reality? It operates on the same fundamental exchange.

The study also found that sugar benefactors reported an average of over six arrangements, indicating a revolving door of sugar relationships. For these men, sugar dating is just another avenue for purchasing companionship and sex.

Beyond the emotional toll, sugar dating carries serious legal and personal risks. Legal experts warn that these arrangements can lead to blackmail, coercion, and threats—especially when expectations aren’t met. Many women find themselves in vulnerable situations with no real recourse. The illusion of control is just that—an illusion.

The Flawed Narrative Around Sex Work and Deconstructing Purity Culture

In the deconstruction space, there’s a growing trend of equating sexual liberation with empowerment while rejecting any critique of the sex industry as moral panic. A popular post circulating on International Sex Workers Day exemplifies this mindset, arguing that deconstructing purity culture requires deconstructing any negative views of sex work. The claim? Sex work and sex trafficking are entirely separate, and many big Christian anti-trafficking organizations wrongly conflate the two to push an agenda. The post insists that if a person is not forced, defrauded, or coerced, they are simply making a free choice to engage in sex work. But this argument is deeply flawed when examined through historical context, real-world data, and the experiences of women who have lived through it.

The Demand Problem: Why Legalizing Sex Work Doesn’t Protect Women

One of the most critical oversights in this argument is the failure to acknowledge that sex work is a demand-driven industry. As Louise Perry outlines in The Case Against the Sexual Revolution, countries that have legalized prostitution have seen an increase in trafficking. Why? Because legalizing the industry normalizes the demand for paid sex, and when there aren’t enough willing participants, traffickers step in to fill the gap. Studies show that in places like Germany and the Netherlands, where prostitution is legal, trafficking rates have skyrocketed because the market rewards pimps and exploiters. The idea that sex work can be fully separate from trafficking ignores the economic reality that supply follows demand.

Linda Lovelace’s experience in Deep Throat is a perfect example of this. The film was a massive success, grossing over $600 million, and was hailed as revolutionary at the time. But years later, Lovelace revealed that she had been coerced into performing in the film under violent and abusive conditions. Her book Ordeal exposed the hidden abuse within the industry—an industry that thrives precisely because there is a market for extreme, degrading content. This isn’t an isolated case; countless women have echoed similar stories after leaving the industry, only to be dismissed while they were still in it because they were expected to uphold the “liberation” narrative.

The Exploitation Behind the Industry

Another major flaw in the sex-work-as-liberation argument is the lack of accountability within the industry itself. MindGeek, the corporation behind the world’s largest pornography sites, has faced multiple civil lawsuits for monetizing non-consensual content—including child sexual abuse, rape, revenge pornography, and voyeuristic recordings of women showering. Reports from December 2020 revealed that the platform was infested with videos depicting abuse and that it profited from some of the darkest corners of human sexuality.

The industry thrives on the illusion that all participants are willing, yet it repeatedly fails to ensure consent. The reality is that the vast majority of those in sex work come from backgrounds of financial instability, trauma, or coercion—not from an empowered, freely chosen career path. The notion that sex work is “just another job” ignores how uniquely dangerous, exploitative, and often inescapable it can be.

The Broader Issue: Normalizing Harm Under the Guise of Liberation

This same pattern of dismissing harm under the banner of liberation isn’t exclusive to the sex industry. I recently came across another example in the deconstruction space where an account that advocates for women’s sexual empowerment was documenting her abortion experience on National Abortion Day. She filmed herself taking the abortion pill as if it were nothing—a casual, almost celebratory act. But this kind of messaging erases the medical realities and risks associated with the abortion pill. It ignores the fact that women absolutely should get an ultrasound before taking it to determine gestational age and rule out ectopic pregnancy, which can be fatal if left untreated. Reducing such a serious medical decision to a political performance trivializes the real consequences that many women face.

This connects back to the issue with sex work: the rush to de-stigmatize everything labeled as “empowerment” often leads to a dangerous lack of critical thought. If deconstruction is about questioning harmful narratives, then why aren’t we allowed to question the harm within the sex industry? Why does rejecting purity culture mean embracing an industry that, time and time again, has been built on coercion, abuse, and exploitation?

Deconstructing purity culture shouldn’t mean abandoning discernment. If anything, it should mean taking an even closer look at these industries and asking hard questions about who truly benefits from them. Because when we actually listen to the stories of women who have left sex work, the pattern is clear: what is sold as empowerment often turns out to be exploitation in disguise.

Healing & Advocacy

Looking back, my perspective has completely shifted. The journey out of the sex industry has been long and complicated, but I’m grateful for the clarity I have now. Organizations like Exodus Cry work to expose the realities of the commercial sex trade and fight for real change. And voices like Louise Perry’s are crucial in dismantling the harmful myths that keep this industry alive.

The sexual revolution promised liberation, but for many women, it delivered exploitation instead. The more we normalize the commodification of sex, the more we enable the very systems that harm us. It’s time to rethink everything we’ve been told about “sex work” and start asking: Who really benefits from this industry? Because it’s certainly not the women inside it.

If you’ve ever questioned the narrative around sex work, if you’ve been curious about the reality behind sugar dating, or if you want to hear from someone who’s been there—I invite you to tune in.

It’s time to move beyond the glamour and face the truth.

Resources:

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The Wounds We Don’t See: Betrayal, Recovery and Rebuilding Trust

Healing After Religious Abuse: A Conversation with Connie A. Baker

Religious abuse can leave deep scars—ones that don’t just fade with time but require intentional healing. In this week’s conversation, I sat down with Connie A. Baker, author of Traumatized by Religious Abuse, for an honest and heartfelt discussion about the journey of healing from spiritual trauma. Connie shares her own experiences, the painful realities of the “second wound,” and how survivors can reclaim their emotional autonomy after years of manipulation and control.

Why Healing Can’t Be Rushed

One of the most profound takeaways from our conversation was the reminder that healing isn’t something to bulldoze through. Connie calls herself a “recovering bulldozer,” always pushing to move forward as quickly as possible. But in trauma recovery, speed can be counterproductive. She embraces the mantra, slow is steady, and steady is fast. For survivors, learning to slow down and allow healing to unfold naturally is essential. Trying to rush past the pain often leads to setbacks, while true recovery requires patience, self-compassion, and time.

The Second Wound: Betrayal After Speaking Out

Connie describes how only 25% of the damage she endured came from the abuse itself—the remaining 75% came from the judgment, rejection, and betrayal she faced when she spoke out. This “second wound” is a devastating reality for many survivors who expect support but instead encounter disbelief, gaslighting, or outright hostility.

I resonated deeply with this. When I began speaking about my own experiences within the church, I was met with accusations of backsliding, manipulation, and spiritual rebellion. Survivors already carry the weight of their trauma, and the added burden of social ostracization can feel insurmountable.

So how do we heal from this betrayal? Connie shares practical steps, including:

  • Finding safe, validating spaces where your story is heard and honored.
  • Understanding that others’ disbelief or discomfort does not negate your truth.
  • Developing strong boundaries to protect yourself from further harm.

Naming Abuse and Embracing Spectrum Thinking

One of the most insidious aspects of religious abuse is the difficulty of naming it. Many survivors downplay their experiences, believing that if they weren’t physically harmed, it “wasn’t that bad.” But Connie emphasizes that minimizing abuse hinders healing.

Abuse exists on a spectrum—from coercive control and emotional manipulation to outright physical harm. Recognizing where an experience falls on that spectrum is crucial for understanding the impact and taking steps toward recovery. This applies beyond religion too—cults, MLMs, and even rigid ideological movements can exhibit the same coercive tactics found in high-control religious environments.

Developing spectrum thinking—moving away from rigid “all or nothing” perspectives—allows survivors to see the full picture. Instead of thinking, “I was never physically hurt, so it wasn’t abuse,” they can acknowledge, “This environment manipulated me, eroded my self-trust, and controlled my emotions. That was harmful.”

Reclaiming Emotional Autonomy

Spiritual abuse often hinges on emotional suppression. Survivors are told that negative emotions—anger, sadness, fear—are sinful or a sign of weak faith. Verses like “Rejoice in the Lord always” and “Be anxious for nothing” are weaponized to shame people into emotional denial.

But emotions provide vital information. Anger tells us when our boundaries have been crossed. Sadness signals loss and the need for healing. Anxiety can be a survival mechanism. Connie reminds us that full wisdom comes from embracing the entire spectrum of human emotions.

Learning to trust yourself again after years of emotional control is no small feat. Some practical steps include:

  • Allowing yourself to feel emotions without labeling them as good or bad.
  • Recognizing when religious conditioning is silencing your true feelings.
  • Using anger constructively—to set boundaries rather than self-destruct.

Wrestling with Worldview: From Spiritual to Materialist and Back Again

Many survivors of religious abuse go through a radical shift in their worldview. Some reject spirituality entirely, embracing a materialist perspective where only the tangible world is real. Others swing to the opposite extreme, seeking comfort in rigid new belief systems.

Connie highlights that this spectrum—from deeply spiritual to strictly materialist—is something many survivors navigate as they attempt to make sense of their experiences. Some turn to hedonism—“Eat, drink, and be merry”—while others find meaning in service, activism, or intellectual pursuits. What matters most isn’t where someone lands on the spectrum but rather the process of wrestling with meaning, truth, and autonomy after religious trauma.

Final Thoughts

Healing from religious abuse is not linear. It’s messy, painful, and often isolating. But as Connie’s journey shows, it’s possible. By embracing the full range of emotions, setting firm boundaries, and recognizing abuse for what it is, survivors can reclaim their autonomy and rebuild a life of freedom and self-trust.

If you’re in the midst of this journey, know that you are not alone. Whether you’re deconstructing, reconstructing, or simply trying to make sense of it all, your experiences are valid. And healing—real, lasting healing—is possible.

What part of this conversation resonated most with you? Drop a comment and let’s keep the discussion going.

And as always: Maintain your curiosity, embrace skepticism, and keep tuning in! 🎙️🔒

Resources:

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From ‘Women’ to ‘AFAB’: The Ideological Capture of Biology and the War on Reality

Welcome back to Taste of Truth Tuesdays. Today, we’re diving into a topic I’ve wanted to explore for a while now. Earlier this month, I came across a writer on Substack who posted something that really struck me. In his piece, he used dehumanizing language ‘assigned female at birth’. While his intention may have been to be inclusive, I found it to be exclusive and downright misogynistic.

It reminded me of back in 2021, I had a few people reach out to me on Instagram, pointing out that we had shifted from using the term ‘women’ to ‘AFAB’—’assigned female at birth.’ My gut reaction was intense—what the hell is going on here? It also reminds me of when I was living in Portland, I was constantly stressed, seeking external validation, and lacked the courage to speak up against gender ideology around 2013-2015. Little did I know, it would eventually take over the world.

Now, we’re going to dive into the consequences of transgenderism and its impact on children. And here’s the thing: I’m no longer afraid of being canceled or ridiculed. Honestly, I’ve already lost all my friends. But at this point, I’ve come to appreciate who I am, and standing for truth in today’s world has never been more important. It’s worth every consequence.

How We Got Here—The Origins of Gender Ideology

To understand how we went from recognizing biological sex as reality to debating whether we can even say the word “women” in medical journals, we have to look at where gender ideology came from.

This whole mess started with psychologist John Money in the 1950s. He was one of the first people to separate “gender” from “sex,” arguing that gender was a social construct, independent of biology. Expanding on John Money’s experiments is crucial because they expose the disturbing origins of gender ideology. Money, a psychologist and sexologist, was instrumental in pushing the idea that gender identity is entirely socially constructed, separate from biological sex. However, his most infamous experiment—the case of David Reimer—reveals the dark and unethical foundation of this belief system.

David Reimer was born male, alongside his identical twin brother, Brian. After a botched circumcision, Money convinced his parents to raise David as a girl, “Brenda,” after undergoing surgery and hormone treatments. Money believed this would prove that gender identity was purely a matter of socialization. However, David never truly identified as female. He struggled with severe psychological distress, eventually rejecting the imposed identity in his teenage years and transitioning back to male. His twin brother Brian also suffered severe emotional distress, and both tragically died by suicide in their 30s—a devastating consequence of Money’s reckless experiment.

The nature vs. nurture debate is at the heart of this issue. Money’s work attempted to prove that nurture—socialization and upbringing—could completely override biological sex. Yet, the failure of the Reimer case demonstrated the opposite: biology plays an undeniable role in identity and development. Attempts to force individuals into gender identities that contradict their biology often lead to severe psychological distress.

While John Money championed the idea that gender was purely a social construct, his ideological opponent, Dr. Milton Diamond, spent decades proving otherwise. Diamond, a biologist and sexologist, conducted extensive research showing that biological sex has an innate influence on identity. He exposed the flaws in Money’s work, particularly the David Reimer case, and argued that forcing an identity contrary to one’s biology leads to immense suffering. Diamond’s work underscored the importance of acknowledging biological sex while still allowing for individual gender expression—a stance completely at odds with today’s gender ideology, which seeks to erase biological realities altogether.

Intersex conditions are often misused as a justification for erasing sex-based distinctions. While intersex individuals exist, they make up a small fraction of the population and do not negate the binary nature of human sexual reproduction. Most intersex conditions result in variations of male or female biology, not a third sex. Using intersex as a reason to eliminate sex-based language ultimately harms both intersex and non-intersex individuals by denying the reality of biological differences.

Beyond David Reimer’s case, Money’s broader work was filled with moral controversies. His therapy sessions with young children were highly controversial and ethically disturbing by today’s standards. He conducted what he called “sexual rehearsal therapy,” which involved encouraging children to engage in sexual activities with their parents or siblings as a form of treatment for various psychological issues.

These sessions were intended to help children overcome sexual anxieties or developmental disorders, but they often crossed serious ethical boundaries and caused significant harm to the children involved. The lack of informed consent, the inappropriate nature of the activities, and the potential for long-term psychological damage have led to widespread criticism of Money’s methods.

Despite this, Money’s ideas laid the foundation for modern gender ideology. His theories, though discredited by cases like David Reimer’s, were absorbed into academia and later expanded upon by activists. The result? A cultural shift where subjective identity is prioritized over biological reality, and dissent is often met with backlash.

Understanding the origins of gender ideology is crucial because it reveals the shaky foundation upon which these ideas were built. Science, ethics, and real-world consequences all point to the same conclusion: biology matters, and attempts to erase it come at a significant human cost.

His theories were later expanded by Judith Butler in the ‘90s, who pushed the idea that gender is performative and entirely detached from biology. This philosophy has now morphed into the idea that sex itself is a “social construct.”

The Trans Flag’s Creator: A Window into Gender Ideology’s Evolution

Monica Helms, born Robert Hogge, designed the trans🏳️‍⚧️ pride flag in 1999.

Genevieve Gluck wrote in Reduxx Magizine:

According to researcher Dr. Sarah Goode, CEO of StopSO (Specialist Treatment Organization for the Prevention of Sexual Offending), pedophiles who organize online have developed their own culture, language, and symbols. One common symbol used in pedophile forums incorporates the colors baby blue, pink and white. In her lecture, ‘Hidden Knowledge: What We Ought to Know About Pedophiles,’ Dr. Goode shows a slide of the image, and says, “The pink half represents ‘girl lovers’ and the blue half represents ‘boy lovers.’”

The color code system appears to predate the initial design of the transgender flag and can be traced back to at least as early as 1997, according to online pro-pedophile forums.

Areas in Europe that advertise child trafficking to pedophile sex tourists have used the color code: “blue curtains mean a boy child prostitute and pink curtains a girl.”

It is unclear whether Helms was aware of this correlation at the time, but when discussing the symbolism behind the trans flag in an interview in 2017, Helms stated that blue represented young boys and pink represented young girls.

Whatever the case may be, his personal history and writings reveal disturbing patterns that echo the unsettling dynamics of gender ideology we’ve seen in figures like Dr. John Money. Helms, who now identifies as a woman, has long been involved in controversial and fetishistic behaviors, even writing “forced feminization” and erotic short stories. His writings include disturbing themes, such as the sexualization of minors, notably in a short story where a man marries a young girl who ages slowly, reflecting a disturbing fantasy that came to him in a dream.

In his memoir, More Than Just a Flag, Helms describes his “bigender” identity, as an “enlightened” being who floats between multiple identities, switching from male to female, sometimes simultaneously, or in an instant. He recalls times of experimentation, especially as an adult, where he would wear clothing inappropriate for his age and faced consequences for doing so at work.

Adding a deeply unsettling layer to the conversation, Helms, who was 70 at the time in 2022, made headlines by claiming to have changed his age to 25. Given the logic behind these transformations, this age shift sparked a viral conversation, with some commenters pointing out that his partner, Darlene Darlington Wagner, would now be “just 16 years old.” This raises questions about how fluid identity could extend beyond gender and into age.

As gender ideology increasingly became intertwined with political movements, it found its way into the mainstream, especially within the Democratic Party. Initially, intellectual discussions around gender began with French philosophers whose ideas about the body, power, and identity influenced later iterations of gender theory. But these complex theories have since been stripped of their nuance and rebranded into a political dogma that now dominates much of the left-leaning discourse.

The Democratic Party, which once championed civil rights and social justice, now finds itself navigating a fine line between advocating for freedom and accommodating forces that seek to change the very definition of identity itself. But at what cost? The more corporate interests and industries gain traction in shaping these ideologies, the more the left’s original values of anti-corporate resistance become a distant memory.

Which brings us to today’s nightmare.

From Fringe Theory to Political Dogma—How Gender Ideology Took Over the Democratic Party

How did academic theorizing become an institutionalized belief system within mainstream politics, particularly in the Democratic Party? This transformation happened through several key developments:

  1. The Rise of Queer Theory in Academia – Universities became breeding grounds for gender ideology throughout the 1990s and 2000s. Gender studies departments, influenced by postmodernist philosophy, framed gender as entirely fluid, rejecting biological sex distinctions. As students trained in these theories graduated and took positions in media, education, and activism, they carried these ideas into broader society.
  2. Institutional Capture and Activism – Activist organizations like the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) and the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) began pushing gender ideology into corporate policies, legal frameworks, and public schools. Their influence, combined with the rapid spread of social media, helped mainstream these concepts far beyond the academic world.
  3. Legal and Policy Shifts – Under the Obama administration, gender ideology gained political traction, particularly through Title IX reinterpretations that mandated schools to accommodate self-declared gender identities. This was further expanded under the Biden administration, with policies requiring federally funded institutions to adopt gender-affirming policies in sports, healthcare, and education. Let’s talk about the hilarious double standards around the billionaires funding the LGBT movement. We’ve all seen the left melting down over the influence of billionaires—except, of course, when those billionaires are funding agendas they support. An article from First Things calls out some of the big names behind the LGBT movement, and guess what? It’s showcases this massive contradiction.
  4. Big Tech and Media Reinforcement – Social media platforms, major news outlets, and entertainment industries began actively promoting gender ideology while censoring dissenting views. This created a cultural environment where questioning gender ideology was framed as hateful or bigoted, further entrenching it within left-wing politics.
  5. The Redefinition of Civil Rights – Transgender identity was increasingly framed as the next major civil rights frontier, equating sex-based protections with racial and disability rights. This shifted the Democratic Party’s platform to fully embrace gender ideology, making skepticism or critique politically unacceptable within mainstream liberal discourse.

The Shift from ‘Women’ to ‘AFAB’—Erasing Women for Ideology

So why has the term “women” been replaced with “AFAB” (Assigned Female At Birth)? The justification is that saying “women” is “exclusionary” to trans-identified females. But in reality, it’s deeply misogynistic.

Jennifer Bilek, in her Dispatches from the 11th Hour essays, has done incredible work exposing how gender ideology isn’t some organic civil rights movement—it’s a well-funded social engineering project backed by billionaires and biotech companies. She points out that this linguistic shift isn’t just about “inclusion.” It’s about destabilizing categories of sex for the benefit of corporate and medical industries.

When you erase the words “women” or “woman,” you erase women’s ability to advocate for their needs. You make it harder to talk about female-specific health issues. And you make it easier for policies to prioritize ideology over science.

The Medical and Scientific Consequences of Erasing Sex

This isn’t just an abstract cultural issue. It has real, dangerous consequences for medicine and science.

Historically, women have been excluded from medical research—for decades, studies were conducted almost exclusively on male subjects, and the results were assumed to apply to women. The problem? Women are not small men. We have different hormonal cycles, different metabolic rates, and different responses to medications.

Here are just a few examples of how ignoring biological sex in medicine harms women:

  • Heart disease: Women’s symptoms are different from men’s, and because most research was done on men, women are more likely to be misdiagnosed.
  • ACL injuries: Women are at a significantly higher risk due to differences in hip structure and ligament laxity, yet training protocols are still modeled on male athletes.
  • Medication dosages: Women metabolize drugs differently, but dosages are often tested on male bodies, leading to overdoses or ineffective treatments for women.

In 2016, the NIH finally mandated that women be included in medical research, a huge step forward. But now, under gender ideology, we’re reversing that progress by saying we can’t acknowledge sex at all.

If we replace “women’s health” with “AFAB health,” how do we effectively study and treat female-specific conditions like PCOS, endometriosis, or pregnancy-related complications?

We don’t. Because that’s the point.

The Connection Between Transgenderism and Transhumanism

As the journalist, Stella Morabito, has written:

“Transgenderism is a vehicle for state power and censorship.”

It is tyranny dressed up in the clothes of what has become the carcass of the progressive left and it seeks absolute power and control over humanity and nature.

This is where things get dark.

Jennifer Bilek and other researchers have pointed out how gender ideology is just one arm of a larger movement: transhumanism—the belief that humanity should merge with technology, that our bodies are “obsolete,” and that we should ultimately move beyond biology altogether.

Think about what the transgender movement pushes:

  • The idea that our bodies are wrong and need to be medically altered
  • A reliance on synthetic hormones for life
  • The normalization of body modification to fit identity over reality

Now zoom out: Who benefits from this ideology? Pharmaceutical companies. The same billionaires pushing trans activism are also deeply invested in AI, biotech, and synthetic biology.

Oligarchs on both the political right like Peter Thiel and on the left like Jeff Bezos. JD Vance is the co-founder of Narya Capital and invested in Amplied Bio which has announced a strategic partnership RNAV8 to support MRNA therapeutic developers. Even MAHA’s hero RFK Jr has invested in Crispr technology. Financially disclosers released in Jan 2025 reveal he holds invested in Crispr therapeutics which specialists in gene editing technologies, as well as Dragon Fly Therapeutics which focuses on immunotherapies. So, despite his history of expressing concerns against gene-editing therapy. He did state he would divest from these companies if confirmed secretary of HHS. So, Mr. Secretary, we are keeping eyes on you. 👀

I haven’t even mentioned of Elon Musk with NeuraLink and who knows what else that guy has planned. I am a big fan of DODGE and the exposure of the corruption, YET I definitely keep a skeptical eye on him as well.

The goal is not just to let people “live as their authentic selves.” The goal is to dissolve sex-based reality entirely, making people dependent on medical interventions for life. This isn’t liberation—it’s medical enslavement.

Brave New World Revisited: The Synthetic Creation of Culture

Earlier this year I read Huxley’s Brave New World, and it didn’t read as fiction, it read as he had a crystal ball into the future. In his dystopia, human reproduction was industrialized, the family unit was obsolete, and people were engineered for compliance under the guise of “progress.” Sound familiar? The push for synthetic reproduction, the erasure of sex-based identity, and the growing narrative that biology itself is a problem all mirror Huxley’s warning.

Jennifer Bilek exposes how transhumanism is the real endgame. The same corporate interests promoting gender ideology are also pioneering artificial wombs, genetically modified embryos, and bioengineered organ harvesting. This is a world where human beings are no longer conceived but manufactured. Where the natural, biological family is replaced by state-sanctioned, lab-grown “life.”

Huxley warned us about a future where people would love their servitude—where the loss of freedom would be reframed as liberation. That future is unfolding now. The question is: Are we resisting dehumanization, or are we embracing it under a new name?

The Erasure of Women Illustration by Greg Groesch

Fighting Back Against the Erasure of Women

So what do we do?

  1. Refuse to comply with ideological language. Women are women—not AFABs.
  2. Call out the erasure of sex in medicine and policy. We must advocate for sex-based language in healthcare.
  3. Expose the billionaires funding this movement. This is not grassroots activism—it’s top-down social engineering.

The fight to protect reality isn’t just about ideology. It’s about protecting women, safeguarding science, and ensuring future generations don’t grow up in a world where “female” is a forbidden word.

Sources:

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Why Challenging Beliefs Feels Like a Personal Attack—And Why It Shouldn’t

From religion to politics, why deeply held beliefs trigger defensiveness, outrage, and even hostility—and how we can foster better conversations.

We all have seen how the internet seems to bring out everyone’s inner troll. 🧌

The moment a deeply held belief—whether religious or political—is questioned, people lash out with hostility, aggression, or outright rage. Why does this happen? Why do some people react as if their very identity is under attack?

This past summer, we sat down with Dr. Mark Gregory Karris to explore religious trauma, belief deconstruction, and the psychological grip of fundamentalist ideology.

This season on Taste of Truth, we have been expanding the conversation—because this isn’t just about religion. Political ideologies, social movements, and even scientific debates can trigger the same defensive responses.

Fundamentalist thinking—whether in religion or politics—creates a fear-driven, us-vs-them mentality.

At its most basic, the allure of fundamentalism, whether religious or ideological, liberal or conservative, is that it provides an appealing order to things that are actually disorderly. -Peter Mountford

This hits at something crucial that I’ve written about numerous times before: the human brain craves order, even in the face of chaos. The illusion of control is a powerful psychological driver, and our brains reward it with dopamine. Fundamentalist thinking offers a structured, black-and-white framework that feels safe and predictable, making it incredibly appealing—especially in times of uncertainty. It’s why people cling even harder to rigid beliefs when they feel threatened. Whether in faith or politics, the need for certainty can override openness to new information, leading to the defensive reactions we see when those beliefs are questioned.

The moment someone questions the “truth,” it’s perceived as an existential threat, triggering anxiety, cognitive dissonance, and sometimes outright hostility.

Take a look at the patterns:

  • Verbal Attacks: When someone questions a core belief, the response can be insults, shouting, or belittling. For example, in religious circles, someone questioning doctrine might be labeled a heretic, while in political spaces, dissenters might be called traitors or bigots.
  • Social Ostracism: In both fundamentalist religious and political groups, those who challenge the status quo risk being shunned, excommunicated, or “canceled.” A former churchgoer who deconstructs their faith may be cut off from their community, just as someone who questions ideological orthodoxy in politics might lose social standing, friendships, or even career opportunities.
  • Online Harassment: Social media amplifies these reactions. Question a sacred political narrative? Expect dogpiling. Challenge a religious doctrine? Brace yourself for moral outrage. The internet rewards ideological purity and punishes deviation.
  • Physical Aggression: In extreme cases, questioning or challenging deeply held beliefs can escalate to threats or violence. History is littered with examples—holy wars, political purges, ideological revolutions—all stemming from the belief that certain ideas must be defended at any cost.

This isn’t just about bad behavior—it’s about psychology. When beliefs become intertwined with identity, disagreement feels like a personal attack. Fundamentalist teachings—whether religious or ideological—reinforce this by instilling fear of deviation:

  1. Fear of Deviation – Straying from the accepted belief system is framed as dangerous, whether it’s framed as spiritual damnation or societal collapse.
  2. Cognitive Dissonance – Encountering opposing viewpoints creates internal discomfort, making people double down rather than reconsider.
  3. Fear of Consequences – Whether it’s eternal hellfire or being cast out by one’s political tribe, the cost of questioning is framed as too high.
  4. Identity Threat – When beliefs define self-worth, changing one’s mind feels like losing a part of oneself.
  5. Social Pressure – Communities reinforce conformity, and breaking from the group’s ideology invites punishment.

When Morality Binds and Blinds

In The Righteous Mind, Jonathan Haidt explains how moral systems don’t just guide our sense of right and wrong—they also bind us to our tribes and blind us to opposing perspectives. Morality evolved not just to help individuals make ethical choices but to reinforce group cohesion. When we share a moral framework with others, it strengthens social bonds and builds trust. But there’s a cost: once we’re deeply embedded in a moral community—whether religious, political, or ideological—we stop seeing outside perspectives clearly.

This is why people react with such hostility when their beliefs are challenged. They aren’t just defending a set of ideas; they’re defending their sense of identity, belonging, and moral righteousness. A challenge to the belief feels like a challenge to the self—and to the entire group they’re part of.

This also explains why fundamentalist thinking isn’t confined to religion. Political movements, activist groups, and even secular ideologies can exhibit the same rigid certainty, group loyalty, and hostility toward outsiders. The more a belief system becomes tied to identity, the more resistant it is to change—and the more aggressive the response when it’s questioned.

The antidote? Intellectual humility. The ability to recognize that our beliefs, no matter how deeply held, might be flawed. That truth-seeking requires engaging with discomfort. That real conversations happen not when we dig in our heels but when we’re willing to ask, What if I’m wrong?

These dynamics explain why deconstruction—whether of faith or political ideology—often leads to intense backlash. It also reminds me of our conversation with Neil Van Leeuwen, author of Religion as Make-Believe. He pointed out that factual beliefs thrive on evidence, but religious and ideological beliefs function differently. When a belief becomes part of group identity, truth often takes a backseat. In fact, sometimes falsehoods serve the group better because they reinforce belonging.

To close down the conversation, let’s talk about healthy communities—whether religious, political, or social—embrace intellectual humility. Here’s what that looks like:

  • Open Dialogue: Encouraging respectful conversations where differing perspectives are explored rather than attacked.
  • Supportive Community: Allowing for questions, doubts, and evolving beliefs without fear of punishment.
  • Personal Reflection: Cultivating a mindset that prioritizes growth over ideological purity.
  • Interdisciplinary Engagement: Seeking insights from multiple fields rather than reinforcing an echo chamber.

By recognizing these patterns, we can navigate our own beliefs with more self-awareness and engage in discussions that foster curiosity rather than hostility. The question isn’t whether we hold tightly to certain beliefs—it’s whether we’re willing to interrogate why.

So, what’s one belief you’ve held onto tightly that you later questioned?

Let’s talk about it in the comments.

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From Diary Entries to Digital Screens: How Beauty Ideals and Sexualization Have Transformed Over Time

Over the past year, we’ve explored a web of interconnected topics—religious extremism, theology, the role of social media in radicalization, and most recently, body image and the impact of fitspiration.

These discussions aren’t isolated; they all trace back to a common thread—how external influences shape our beliefs, behaviors, and sense of identity. Today, we’re diving deeper into that connection, looking at how beauty standards, social media, and the normalization of self-objectification are part of a larger cultural shift.

The Evolution of Body Image: From Calorie Counting to the Cult of Fitness

Our cultural obsession with body modification isn’t new—it’s just evolved.

In The Body Project, historian Joan Jacobs Brumberg explores the history of American girls and how today women have more freedom and choice than ever before, but many of us begin a pattern of negative self-image, beauty obsession and dieting as early as five or six. Brumberg states:

“All throughout history, adolescent self-consciousness is quite persistent, but it’s level is raised or lowered, like the water level in a pool, by the cultural and social setting.”

For instance, in the late 19th century, girls might have been particularly conscious of their hands and feet due to the fashion and modesty standards of the time, as well as the emphasis on delicate and proper presentation. Additionally, the ideal feminine silhouette of the time, with tightly laced corsets and voluminous skirts, might have made girls more conscious of their waists and overall body shape.

So, while in modern day times, we may cringe at the confinements of what the Victorian society and wearing the corset did to women, but I’d like to argue that in 2025 body angst is driven by much more sinister forces. Today, commercial interests utilize marketing strategies that result in enormous amounts of profit for the manufactures of cosmetic, surgery, hair products and of course diet foods.

The reality that American girls now center their lives around their bodies is neither coincidental nor trivial: it reflects historical shifts that are just now being comprehended.

15th November 1926: Film star, Mae Murray (1889 – 1965) making herself up in a mirror in the lid of her make-up box.

Brumberg examines how the modern fixation on weight began in the early 20th century. Historically, the surge of explicit “girl talk” about body and sexuality is a relatively recent American phenomenon. As the language surrounding sex and the body has evolved, so too have the body projects of different generations of American girls. By the 1920s, girls began writing about their efforts to develop sexual allure through clothing and cosmetics, and for the first time, they experimented with “slimming”—a new body project tied to the scientific discovery of the calorie. The dieters and sexual players of the 1920s were generally girls in middle to late adolescence, finishing high school or heading off to college and jobs in the business world—unlike today, where such concerns often affect younger children and teenagers.

By the 1970s and 1980s, body control became about more than just being thin; it evolved into sculpting the ideal physique. This shift gave rise to what we now recognize as the cult of fitness—a movement that reframed body control as discipline and self-mastery. The rise of bodybuilding, aerobics, and the emerging diet industry all played a role in selling the idea that, with enough effort, anyone could build their “dream body.”

The Role of Genetics in Muscle Growth: What Fitness Culture Gets Wrong

But science tells a different story. While training and nutrition matter, genetics play a massive role in muscle development, strength, and even fat distribution. A study published in Communications Biology (2020) found that an individual’s ability to build muscle and strength is 50-80% genetic (Pei et al., 2020).

This means that two people following the exact same training program and nutrition plan will not achieve the same results—because their genetic blueprint largely determines their potential for muscle growth, recovery speed, tendon strength, and even motivation to train.

Yet, fitness culture—including myself as a personal trainer for nearly 20 years—rarely acknowledges this, pushing the narrative that extreme discipline alone is the key to achieving a certain look. This myth is not only misleading but also damaging, leading many people to believe that if they just worked harder, ate “cleaner,” or followed the right influencer’s workout, they could look like a fitness model.

How Genetics Impact Strength and Muscle Development

  1. Muscle Fiber Composition: The Fast-Twitch vs. Slow-Twitch Factor
    • People with a higher percentage of fast-twitch muscle fibers (Type II) have a genetic advantage in strength and hypertrophy (muscle growth). These fibers respond better to resistance training and grow larger than slow-twitch (Type I) fibers, which are more endurance-focused.
    • Some individuals are naturally fast-twitch dominant, making it easier for them to build muscle. Others are slow-twitch dominant, meaning they may struggle with size gains but excel in endurance sports like long-distance running (Timmons et al., 2010).
  2. Myostatin: The Genetic “Muscle Growth Brake”
    • Myostatin is a protein that regulates muscle growth by preventing muscles from getting too large.
    • People with lower levels of myostatin (due to genetic mutations) have an easier time building muscle naturally. Some bodybuilders and elite athletes are born with myostatin deficiencies, giving them an unfair advantage (Lee & McPherron, 2001).
  3. Testosterone and Hormonal Variability
    • Testosterone is a major driver of muscle protein synthesis, and its levels vary wildly among individuals.
    • Some people naturally produce more free testosterone (the biologically active form), which enhances muscle recovery, strength, and hypertrophy.
    • Women generally have 10-20 times lower testosterone levels than men, making significant muscle gains much harder without pharmacological assistance (i.e., steroids) (Kraemer et al., 1998).
  4. Bone Structure and Muscle Insertions: The Aesthetic Factor
    • Ever wonder why some people seem to have a “naturally sculpted” look even before they start training?
    • Bone structure (such as clavicle length, rib cage width, and hip-to-waist ratio) dictates how muscle mass is distributed.
    • Muscle insertion points vary genetically, meaning some people have longer muscle bellies, which create fuller-looking muscles, while others have shorter insertions, making certain muscles appear smaller or less defined no matter how much they train (Abe et al., 2016).

The Dangerous Myth of “Hard Work = Guaranteed Results”

Fitness influencers, personal trainers, and the entire “no excuses” culture have sold the idea that discipline alone determines success. And yes—training consistency and proper nutrition absolutely matter. But they will never override genetic limitations.

This myth leads to:

  • Unrealistic Expectations: People blame themselves when they don’t achieve Instagram-worthy physiques, despite training and eating “perfectly.”
  • Overtraining & Injury: Chasing unrealistic body standards leads many to overtrain, ignore recovery, and develop chronic injuries.
  • Disordered Eating & Supplement Abuse: Some resort to extreme dieting, excessive protein intake, or even performance-enhancing drugs to push past genetic limits.

The Industry’s Selective Silence on Genetics

Why does fitness culture ignore genetics? Simple: it doesn’t sell. If people accepted that their muscle-building potential was largely predetermined, the billion-dollar fitness industry wouldn’t be able to push:

  • Expensive training programs promising “X body in X weeks.”
  • Supplement stacks claiming to “maximize muscle growth.”
  • The illusion that buying a program from a shredded influencer will make you look like them.

Ironically, many of the biggest names in fitness—especially those with extreme physiques—are genetically gifted (and often enhanced by PEDs). Yet, they claim their results come solely from “hard work and dedication,” keeping their followers trapped in a cycle of unrealistic expectations and self-blame.

After nearly 20 years as a personal trainer, I wish I had been more honest about genetics with my clients. Fitness is absolutely a combination of training, nutrition, recovery, and mindset—but genetics are the foundation that determines what’s possible.

Let’s stop pretending everyone can achieve the same results through sheer willpower. Fitness should be about maximizing your individual potential—not chasing an impossible ideal. Focusing on body neutral fitness and strength training gave me tangible, measurable improvements, but it also made me realize how much misinformation circulates in mainstream fitness spaces, particularly in the fitspiration content flooding social media.

Fitspiration: The Reinvention of Beauty Standards

A 2023 study in Computers in Human Behavior compared the effects of fit ideal vs. non-fit ideal body types in fitspiration imagery. The findings? Exposure to fitspiration content significantly increases body dissatisfaction, especially in women who already struggle with self-image. This isn’t surprising—social media’s curated highlight reels create a distorted sense of what’s achievable. And just like 90s diet culture failed to acknowledge genetic differences in weight, today’s fitness culture largely ignores the reality that strength and muscle growth are heavily influenced by genetics.

But the impact of fitspiration goes beyond body image. The same mechanisms that fuel fitness obsession—comparison, idealization, and self-objectification—are also at play in the broader cultural shift toward hypersexualization.

Fitspiration and Self-Objectification: The Internalized Gaze

Self-objectification occurs when a person sees themselves through the eyes of others, measuring their worth by how they look rather than who they are. And nowhere is this dynamic more evident than in fitspiration culture.

John Berger describes this process perfectly in Ways of Seeing:

“A woman must continually watch herself. She is almost continually accompanied by her own image of herself… From earliest childhood she has been taught and persuaded to survey herself continually. And so she comes to consider the surveyor and the surveyed within her as the two constituent yet always distinct elements of her identity as a woman.”

Fitspiration content encourages this exact split identity—one part of a woman is the observer, constantly assessing whether she looks toned, lean, or strong enough. The other part is the observed, existing only as a reflection of an idealized body type. It’s no longer just about fitness; it’s about performing fitness for an audience.

And the consequences are severe:

  • Chronic body surveillance leads to increased anxiety, depression, and disordered eating (Fredrickson & Roberts, 1997).
  • Instead of focusing on how movement feels, women focus on how their bodies appear while exercising.
  • The line between fitness and sexualization blurs, reinforcing the idea that a woman’s body is only valuable when it is desirable to others.

In this way, fitspiration isn’t just a rebranded version of diet culture—it’s also a pipeline to broader cultural hypersexualization, where the body is constantly on display, measured, and objectified. And this feeds directly into an even deeper issue: the normalization of pornography and the sex industry, where women’s bodies are not just idealized but commodified.

By promoting self-objectification as empowerment, fitspiration culture primes women to see themselves as both the product and the consumer, caught in an endless cycle of external validation. And the most insidious part? It’s framed as self-improvement—when in reality, it’s just another system designed to keep women watching themselves instead of living fully.

The Connection Between Fitspiration, Porn Culture, and Self-Objectification

The way women are impacted by pornography—and by extension, the sex industry—is something far too many people overlook. The statistics are staggering:

  • The top three porn sites receive a combined 134,491 visits per minute.
  • Most pornographic videos contain some form of aggression or violence, particularly toward women. A 2020 meta-analysis found that 88% of pornographic scenes contain physical aggression (slapping, choking, hair-pulling) and 49% contain verbal aggression, with women overwhelmingly being the targets (Bridges et al., 2010).
  • Most young people are exposed to pornography between the ages of 11 and 13, with some studies reporting an even earlier age for boys (Wright et al., 2021).
  • A 2020 study found that 91.5% of men and 60.2% of women had watched porn in the past month (Solano, Eaton, & O’Leary, 2020).

How This Connects to Fitspiration and Porn Culture

At first glance, fitspiration (or “fitspo”) might seem like it has nothing to do with pornography or the sex industry. After all, isn’t fitness about health and strength? But when we look closer, the connections become clear.

  1. Both fitspiration and porn culture promote self-objectification.
    Fitspiration culture tells women that their worth is tied to their body’s appearance—specifically, whether they have a lean, sculpted, and sexually desirable physique. This reinforces self-objectification, where women begin viewing their bodies primarily as objects to be judged rather than lived-in, experienced, and valued beyond aesthetics.

Remember our study in Computers in Human Behavior (2023) found that exposure to fitspiration imagery leads to increased body dissatisfaction and self-objectification, particularly among women who already struggle with body image….Similarly, pornography fuels external validation as a primary measure of self-worth.

Women in both fitspo and porn culture are expected to conform to an idealized version of femininity that is both hypersexualized and carefully curated for male consumption.

  1. Both industries capitalize on the illusion of empowerment.
    One of the biggest arguments in favor of fitspiration and porn is that they “empower” women. But empowerment, in its truest sense, involves autonomy, agency, and self-determination—not just adhering to societal beauty standards under the guise of “strength” or “choice.”
  • Fitspiration content often presents extreme dieting, excessive exercise, and body sculpting as forms of self-discipline and self-improvement, even when they veer into disordered behaviors.
  • The porn industry promotes the idea that sex work is a path to empowerment, despite overwhelming evidence of the harm it causes to those involved. Research on women in the porn industry has found high rates of PTSD, substance abuse, and coercion (Farley et al., 2003).

The same narrative that tells women they must be “empowered” by fitspiration also tells them they must be “empowered” by commodifying their bodies through sex work. The reality is that both industries profit from women internalizing external standards of worth rather than defining it for themselves.

  1. The rise of OnlyFans and the blending of fitness and sex work.
    Social media has blurred the lines between fitness influencers and the sex industry in a way that previous generations didn’t experience. Platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and OnlyFans have created a new category of influencers who monetize their appearance—whether through fitness content, sexually suggestive photos, or outright pornography.
  • Some fitness influencers now have OnlyFans accounts, where they claim to be selling fitness content but also offer sexually explicit material.
  • The normalization of “soft porn” in fitness spaces (suggestive poses, hypersexualized workout attire) conditions women to see their fitness journey as something that must be publicly displayed and validated by others.
  • Many young women have turned to selling “spicy content” on OnlyFans as a form of income, believing it to be harmless self-expression—only to later experience the psychological and social fallout.

This isn’t just theoretical. A growing body of research shows that women who engage in sexualized self-presentation online report higher levels of self-objectification, body dissatisfaction, and lower self-esteem (Boursier et al., 2020).

The Psychological Toll: What Happens When Women Internalize These Messages?

Self-objectification doesn’t just impact body image—it affects mental health, cognitive performance, and even physical performance. Studies have found that women who are primed to focus on their appearance:

  • Perform worse on cognitive tasks (Fredrickson et al., 1998).
  • Experience greater body shame and anxiety (Moradi & Huang, 2008).
  • Are less likely to engage in activities that prioritize function over appearance (Roberts & Gettman, 2004).

And this has real-world consequences. Women who internalize self-objectification are more likely to experience:

  • Higher rates of depression and anxiety
  • Greater susceptibility to eating disorders
  • Lower confidence in their physical abilities

Reframing the Narrative: What’s the Alternative?

Recognizing these patterns is the first step in breaking free from them. If fitspiration, porn culture, and social media all push the message that women must shape themselves into externally validated objects, then the antidote is reclaiming agency over our bodies—not as things to be looked at, but as tools for living, experiencing, and creating.

  • Strength training should be about what your body can do, not how it looks.
  • Health and fitness should prioritize function over pain.
  • Challenge Beauty Norms & External Validation. Who benefits from women being consumed by their appearance? The more we recognize these influences, the easier it is to resist them.
  • Women should be encouraged to pursue movement, sport, and physical strength without the added layer of performative sexuality.

Joan Jacobs Brumberg’s The Body Project reinforced for me how unprepared young women have been for the level of sexualization and exploitation in our culture—something that has only worsened with social media. The way sex work is framed as “empowerment” in some circles ignores the long-term harm it inflicts, and I’ve seen that firsthand.

I can’t wait to discuss this more with my friend Sloane Wilson, a survivor advocate with Exodus Cry, on my podcast later this season. Her insights into the realities of the sex industry and the dangers of normalizing self-objectification are incredibly important for this conversation.

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Untangling the Threads of Chronic Pain, Trauma, and Healing

How Emotional Trauma Contributes to Chronic Pain

If you had asked me a year ago why my body hurt so much—why my hips ached, my calves tightened with every step, or why even walking on the treadmill felt like a chore—I would have said it was from overtraining or poor posture. What I couldn’t articulate then was that my pain wasn’t just physical. It was a complex dance involving my nervous system, my fascia, and my body’s attempt to protect itself after years of unresolved trauma.

Our nervous system plays a fundamental role in chronic pain. When we experience physical or emotional trauma, our body reacts by creating a heightened state of alertness. Over time, these experiences are encoded in the nervous system as neurotags—clusters of physical, emotional, and cognitive memories that influence how we react to stress and pain. Chronic pain, I’ve learned, is often an echo of this activation. It’s not just about tight muscles or structural imbalances—it’s a survival mechanism trying to make sense of and respond to past trauma.

This is the story of how I’ve started to untangle it all, and how chronic pain, emotional wounds, and trauma are all intricately tied together in ways I never imagined.

The Connection Between Chronic Pain and Trauma

For years, I treated my body like a machine. During my bodybuilding days, I pushed through discomfort, ignored signs of overtraining, and celebrated soreness as a badge of honor. But what I didn’t understand then was how my nervous system was quietly keeping score.

Chronic pain, I’ve learned, isn’t just about tight muscles or structural imbalances—it’s a survival strategy. When we experience trauma, whether from overtraining, stress, or emotional wounds, our nervous system can get stuck in a heightened state of alertness. It’s like a smoke alarm that keeps going off, long after the fire has been extinguished.

Fascia, the connective tissue that surrounds every muscle and organ in our body, plays a fascinating role in this process. Fascia isn’t just structural—it’s sensory. It’s packed with nerve endings that communicate directly with the brain. When the body perceives danger (even subconsciously), the fascia can tighten, creating patterns of tension that mirror emotional or physical trauma. In my case, that tension showed up in my psoas muscles, my calves, and my lower back—all areas associated with safety and movement.

The more I explored these connections, the more I began to see that pain wasn’t random—it was a message from my body. And it was asking me to listen.

The Power of Neurotags: How Pain and Trauma Intersect

One of the most eye-opening concepts I’ve come across in my journey is the idea of neurotags—a term used to describe the brain’s way of organizing and processing sensory, emotional, and cognitive information. Neurotags are like maps of experiences that are built over time, creating an interconnected network of physical sensations, emotions, and thoughts that work together to form a response to stimuli.

Here’s the kicker: Chronic pain is often stored in these neurotags. When trauma occurs—whether physical, emotional, or psychological—it gets encoded in the nervous system as a pattern. These patterns are not just about the physical experience of pain, but also the emotions and thoughts tied to that experience.

When trauma is stored in the nervous system, it doesn’t just affect how we feel physically; it affects our entire emotional and cognitive landscape. For example, someone who has experienced physical trauma may also experience emotional flashbacks or cognitive distortions that are linked to that experience. These flashbacks are like sudden replays of past trauma, but they don’t just exist in the mind—they can show up physically in the body.

Neurotags, Emotional Flashbacks, and Chronic Pain

Think about it this way: When we experience a traumatic event, our nervous system reacts by encoding that event into a neurotag. This neurotag includes not only the physical sensations (like tightness, pain, or discomfort), but also the emotions (fear, anger, sadness) and cognitive patterns (thoughts like “I am unsafe” or “I am weak”).

Emotional flashbacks happen when the brain reactivates these neurotags, causing the body to respond as if the trauma is happening again. This is why someone with chronic pain may experience intense emotions that seem disproportionate to the physical sensations they’re feeling. The pain can trigger a flashback—a sudden, overwhelming re-experience of trauma that isn’t just mental but is felt deeply in the body.

In my case, the tension I experienced in my hips and lower back was a reflection of both the physical trauma of overtraining and the emotional trauma I had internalized from years of pushing myself too hard and ignoring my body’s signals. When my nervous system encountered stress, it activated these neurotags, making the tension and pain feel more intense and more pervasive. The more I resisted this pain or ignored the emotional connection to it, the worse it became.

How I’m Healing: Creating New Neurotags and Engaging the Vagus Nerve

Understanding neurotags has been revolutionary in how I approach my healing process. The key to healing, I’ve learned, is not simply “fixing” the physical pain but reprogramming the neurotags. This involves creating new patterns that support healing, safety, and relaxation.

One powerful way I’m rewiring my nervous system is by engaging the vagus nerve, the longest cranial nerve that plays a critical role in regulating the parasympathetic nervous system. The vagus nerve is like the body’s “brakes,” helping to turn off the fight-or-flight response and return the body to a state of calm. When activated, it encourages relaxation, emotional regulation, and recovery—exactly what my body needs as I untangle the tension stored in my fascia and nervous system.

Here’s how I’m starting to rewire my system:

Reconnecting with Joyful Movement:
I’ve reintroduced activities that make me feel alive, like walking in the garden or playing with my pets. These moments remind me that movement isn’t just about strength—it’s about freedom. By incorporating joyful, non-stressful activities, I’m helping to reinforce new neurotags that associate movement with pleasure and ease.

Reclaiming Safety Through Movement:
Instead of high-intensity workouts, I’ve shifted to gentle, functional exercises that strengthen my core and glutes while supporting my nervous system. Slow, mindful movements like glute bridges, bird dogs, and pelvic tilts have become my new best friends. These exercises not only build strength but signal to my nervous system that it’s safe to move.

Releasing Fascia with Love:
I’ve embraced somatic practices like gentle rocking, diaphragmatic breathing, and fascia-focused stretches to help release tension. These practices aren’t just physical—they’re a way of telling my body, “You’re safe now.” They help reprogram the neurotags associated with stress and trauma by sending a message of relaxation and calm.

Vagus Nerve Activation:
To support my nervous system’s recovery, I’ve incorporated practices that stimulate the vagus nerve, such as slow, deep belly breathing and humming. Breathing deeply into my diaphragm (focusing on long exhales) has been especially helpful in calming my body and signaling to my nervous system that it’s okay to relax. By consciously engaging my vagus nerve, I’m helping shift from the fight-or-flight response into a restorative state.

Rewriting Emotional Patterns:
Rewiring my nervous system also means rewriting my emotional patterns. This involves acknowledging the emotional flashbacks that arise when pain triggers old neurotags and consciously choosing to respond with compassion and self-care. Instead of reacting with fear or frustration, I’m learning to pause, breathe, and remind myself that I’m safe now.

What Chronic Pain Has Taught Me

Chronic pain has been a tough teacher, but it’s taught me lessons I wouldn’t trade for anything:

  • Your body is always on your side. Pain is a signal, not a punishment.
  • Healing isn’t linear. Some days, progress looks like resting instead of pushing.
  • Movement is medicine, but only when done with intention and love.

I share this journey because I know I’m not alone. So many of us carry the weight of trauma—both emotional and physical—in our bodies. And while the road to healing isn’t easy, it’s worth it.

If you’re navigating chronic pain, I want you to know this: Your body isn’t broken, and you don’t have to fight it. With the right tools, patience, and self-compassion, you can create safety, release tension, and rediscover the joy of movement.

I’m still on this journey, and I’d love to hear about yours. What has chronic pain taught you? How are you learning to trust your body again? Let’s keep this conversation going—because healing happens when we feel safe enough to share.

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Beyond the Before-and-After: The Truth About Social Media and Body Image

🎙️ Welcome back to Taste of Truth Tuesdays! This week, we’re diving deep into the fascinating and impactful world of body image and social media, guided by two incredible guests who bring evidence-based insights and a passion for accessibility in mental health research.

🧠 First, let me introduce Dr. Hannah Jarman, Ph.D., a trailblazer in psychology whose work sheds light on how we perceive ourselves in the digital age. Alongside her is the brilliant Ms. Claudia Liu, a Ph.D. candidate whose research explores the intersection of social media and body image. These two share a common mission: making complex research not just understandable but applicable in everyday life

Body image—it’s a term we hear often, but what does it really mean? At its core, body image is your perceptions, beliefs, feelings, thoughts, and actions related to your physical appearance. Think of it as your personal relationship with your body. Sounds simple, but in a world shaped by curated social media feeds and fitspiration photos, it’s anything but.

To ground our discussion, we’ll be exploring the four components of body image, starting with Perceptual Body Image—how you see yourself. Here’s the catch: the way you see your body often doesn’t match reality. It’s a perception distorted by negative self-talk and societal pressures. But awareness is the first step. Interrupting that loop of negative talk can help shift your perception toward something healthier.

Next, there’s Affective Body Image, which reflects how you feel about your body—your likes and dislikes. These feelings are deeply influenced by the media we consume, from TV and movies to social media trends like “fitspiration.” Here’s the thing: hating your body is not a prerequisite for change. Dissatisfaction and acceptance can coexist. Making intentional choices about what media you engage with can profoundly impact how you feel about yourself.

Then we have Cognitive Body Image, or the thoughts and beliefs you hold about your body. Ever heard someone say, “I’ll be happy when I hit my goal weight”? It’s a dangerous trap because happiness isn’t tied to a number on the scale. Chasing an external solution for an internal problem often leads to harmful patterns and a cycle of discontent.

2018: My leanest physique post-bodybuilding competitions. I sat here feeling self-conscious, convinced I looked ‘fat.’ It’s wild to look back and realize how much my mind distorted my reality.

When I look back at photos of myself at my leanest—whether it was during my bodybuilding competitions or soon after—I remember how uncomfortable I felt in my body even then. This always reminds me that body image isn’t actually about how your body looks; it’s about your relationship with your body and, ultimately, with yourself.

Finally, Behavioral Body Image—the actions we take based on our perceptions, feelings, and beliefs. When someone struggles with negative body image, they might engage in destructive behaviors like over-exercising, disordered eating, or social withdrawal.

Today, we’ll unpack these components with Dr. Jarman and Ms. Liu and dive into their groundbreaking research on the impact of social media and fitspiration on our body image. We’ll also share actionable tips to help you reshape your relationship with your body and your digital environment.

Get ready for an enlightening and empowering conversation. Let’s go!

Dr. Hannah Jarman, a research fellow at Deakin University in Melbourne, Australia, who specializes in body image, eating disorders, and the influence of media. Dr. Jarman’s interest in this field began when a young child in her life, around 5 or 6 years old, started expressing distress about her body, saying things like “I’m fat, I need to lose weight.” This was concerning not only because of the child’s age, but also because her family had a history of eating disorders. Recognizing the red flags, Dr. Jarman sought advice from a lecturer specializing in body image, which sparked her passion for research and intervention.

This led to her work on body image interventions in schools and later, a PhD on the impact of social media on adolescent body image and well-being. Dr. Jarman’s work continues to explore the critical intersection between media influence and body dissatisfaction, aiming to identify predictors and create effective prevention strategies for eating disorders.

Claudia, a final-year PhD candidate in Psychology at Melbourne University. Claudia’s research focuses on disordered eating, body image, and digital health—an emerging area in the field. Her passion for this work stems from her own personal experiences with disordered eating and negative body image during her younger years. Growing up in Southeast Asia, where thin ideals were heavily glorified, Claudia internalized these societal pressures, which led to unhealthy behaviors. Fortunately, she overcame these challenges, and this journey inspired her to pursue a PhD, hoping her research can provide insights and support for others facing similar struggles.

I’ve also seen in the data that children as young as 5 are struggling with negative body image, and I can really relate to Claudia’s experience. I, too, have struggled with disordered eating. I’ve enrolled in eating disorder therapy and have been given some of the most extreme programs, like having to eat the same meal plan six times a day for 12 weeks. The strictness of it led to binges, and it was clear that something wasn’t working.

Thank you to all the researchers out there, because while I don’t have a PhD, I did pursue a psychology certification as part of my continuing education for personal trainers. The more I worked with clients, the more I realized the connection between psychology and nutrition. Many of my clients came to me wanting to “lose weight”, but before we could even start thinking about that, we had to address underlying issues like under-eating, yo-yo dieting, and inconsistency. I had to teach them that they had to earn their right to diet, which was a difficult but crucial concept to stress. That’s when I knew I needed to learn more about psychology—it wasn’t just about the physical aspect but the mental and emotional work that had to come first.

Dr. Jarman adds, it’s so ingrained in our society, these ideals and these pressures and dieting. If you think about the people around you, how many—probably the majority, particularly of females, but also a lot of males—struggle with these issues and have unhealthy relationships with food or exercise or whatever it may be. These perfect ideals are supposedly so easy, and they should all be achieving them. But that’s absolutely right.

Men do have the pressure as well, like this big masculine look or the negative term of ‘dad bod.’ Men are also getting objectified or judged. So much of what the fitness industry sells is a psy-op. They’re just trying to sell you the idea that you can control this. It’s like in the religious world, where we have something called the prosperity gospel—‘If you do this, you’ll get God’s blessing.’ Diet culture plays the same tune: ‘If you do this, you’ll get that.’ It’s a deep psychological hook, tapping into our need for control. This need triggers dopamine, which reinforces these behaviors. Whether it’s following rigid fitness plans or religious dogma, it’s the dopamine hit that keeps us hooked. I appreciate you guys getting on here.

A little bit off-mic, season 2 was exploring breaking free from diet culture, body-neutral fitness, and focusing on performance-based goals. While you might see some changes in aesthetics, that’s just a bonus. The real focus is on getting stronger, improving blood markers, or simply walking every day. I’ve learned as a personal trainer that even when clients achieve their weight loss goals, it doesn’t always lead to a better body image or happiness. So, what is body appreciation, and why is it so crucial for mental well-being?

Body Appreciation

Claudia: “Yeah, I can take that one. So, body appreciation is basically a key or core positive body image concept that involves recognizing, valuing, and respecting the body for its functional capacity and its health, rather than how it looks. I know you mentioned that earlier on. So, it’s really about shifting the focus away from aesthetics and towards its functional capacity and functionality. Over the past 10 years, there’s been a surge in research showing that greater body appreciation is associated with a number of psychological outcomes—such as improved self-esteem, better quality of life, and overall emotional and physical well-being. Studies also show that body appreciation encourages people to adopt healthier, more flexible eating patterns, like intuitive eating. For these reasons, it’s been proposed as a potential protective factor against issues like body dissatisfaction, symptoms of disordered eating, and building resilience against societal pressures to fit unrealistic beauty standards. So, that’s kind of my interpretation of body appreciation and why it’s so important.”

Dr. Jarman: “I guess just adding to that briefly as well, I think the focus really is understanding that our bodies are wonderful. They do so much for us, and we get so caught up in how they look and the expectations in that area, that we forget how lucky we are to have a functioning body. OK, maybe you don’t like your arms or think they’re flabby, but you can hug your child or do all these incredible things that we just get so caught up in and forget. It’s about being able to take a step back and really think about and appreciate and value those things.”

You: “And also, I think body appreciation can go a level deeper for those who might be disabled or have lost certain abilities—maybe weren’t born with them, but have lost the ability to move in certain ways. That can be really difficult, because… But you can still find ways to appreciate the small things, like the sun on your skin. Or, maybe you can’t walk or hug your child like you once could, but there are still ways to appreciate the vessel that you dwell in, and that helps you interact with the world. That’s why I like body appreciation. It strips away a lot of those pressures and ideal body standards. And I think for fitness, it really… I don’t know what happened, if it’s always been poison, but wellness culture became so focused on looks. I was raised in the ‘90s—Jessica Simpson was considered fat. That slim, hair-thin ideal was pushed. And now, I’m almost 40—just crazy, that’s what I was raised with. The low-rise jeans…”

Hannah: “They’re back now, maybe just in Australia, but they’re back!”

You: “No, no thanks!” (laughter)

How Social Media Shapes Body Image and Eating Behaviors: Understanding Its Impact on Mental Health and Well-Being

Social media has become a double-edged sword in terms of its influence on our body image and eating behaviors, especially among young women. Dr. Hannah Jarman, a research expert in the field, sheds light on the complexities of this issue, drawing from the latest findings in the field.

Research consistently shows that social media tends to worsen our body image. It often leads to comparisons, where we measure ourselves against the seemingly “perfect” lives and bodies of others. This sense of inadequacy can drive us to want to change our appearance, often through unhealthy means, believing that losing weight or attaining a certain body ideal will bring happiness.

Dr. Jarman explains that while time spent online used to be the primary focus of research, recent studies have shown that the content we engage with plays a more significant role in shaping our mental health. Specifically, appearance-focused content—such as photo edits, filters, and comparison-driven posts—are more harmful than we might realize.

Interestingly, content that is perceived as “inspirational” can also contribute to this negative cycle. Instead of motivating positive behaviors, it can lead to feelings of pressure and shame, pushing individuals further away from the very practices meant to improve their well-being. Instead of encouraging exercise or body appreciation, these idealized portrayals often result in a sense of failure, making it harder to engage in self-care.

So, what can we do to become more aware of the impact social media has on our mental well-being? Dr. Jarman suggests that the first step is reflection. Being mindful of what we follow and consume online is essential. Are the accounts and content we engage with making us feel better or worse about ourselves? By being selective in our media consumption and actively avoiding harmful content, we can better protect our body image and mental health from the negative influences of social media.

Taking Control: How to Curate Your Social Media Feed for Better Body Image and Mental Health

While social media algorithms have a strong influence over the content we see, Dr. Jarman emphasizes that we do have some control over our feeds. The key lies in curating what we consume. If you find yourself comparing or feeling bad about your body after viewing certain content, it’s time to take action. Don’t hesitate to unfollow, hide, or block accounts that negatively affect your mental well-being. Instead, fill your feed with content that lifts you up—whether that’s accounts that make you laugh, reflect your hobbies, or celebrate your personal interests.

Another vital tool in reducing the harm of social media is social media literacy. Dr. Jarman encourages us to critically evaluate what we see: Who is posting this content, and why? Are they promoting a product or idea, and how realistic is what’s being presented? Developing these critical skills can help you navigate the often-misleading nature of social media, empowering you to consume content that truly adds value to your life, rather than contributing to unrealistic standards and comparisons.

By being intentional about what we engage with, we can protect ourselves from the detrimental effects of social media on body image and mental health.

Mindfulness in Social Media Consumption: A Personal Approach to Authenticity

Mindfulness is key when engaging with social media. As Dr. Jarman mentioned, it’s not just about the time we spend online, but how we feel when interacting with certain content. When consuming posts, take a moment to check in with yourself: How do you feel after reading this? Does it leave you feeling inspired, or does it trigger negative comparisons? Recognizing your emotional response is an essential step toward curating a healthier online experience.

Personally, I’ve chosen to operate from a place of transparency. I don’t monetize my content, push affiliate links, or promote products for profit. For me, it’s not about selling anything; it’s about sharing information and offering genuine value. I even make my strength training guide available for free to anyone who asks. Why? Because I want to be seen as an expert, but also as a normal, imperfect human. It’s about finding the balance between encouraging people to be open with their own journeys while demonstrating that vulnerability and authenticity are part of what makes us all human.

Dr. Hannah Jarman emphasizes that while fitspiration content can appear motivating, it may unintentionally harm individuals by focusing on unattainable ideals. She notes that before-and-after images, for instance, can imply that the person in the “before” image is unworthy, while the “after” version suddenly seems perfect. Instead, she suggests shifting the focus to how individuals feel, highlighting personal performance or other non-aesthetic milestones.

In response, I throughout the suggestion of fitness coaches adding cover photos to before-and-after images, which could serve as a “trigger warning” for those scrolling through. This small change could offer viewers the opportunity to engage more thoughtfully, especially if they have a tendency to be triggered by such comparisons.

Dr. Jarman agrees, emphasizing the importance of showcasing the entire journey—ups, downs, and all. She advocates for content that highlights authenticity, as it’s often a longer, non-linear process. By focusing on emotional growth, feelings of self-worth, and overall well-being, the goal shifts away from just numbers and aesthetics, promoting healthier perspectives on body image and wellness.

Claudia shares her personal journey with body image and disordered eating, revealing how following fitness influencers who idealized a specific body type negatively impacted her mental health. She explains how curating her social media feed by unfollowing these influencers and instead following those who emphasize strength and science-based training was transformative. This shift helped her focus on performance and appreciation for her body rather than aesthetics or calorie-burning, leading to a healthier and more sustainable approach to fitness and nutrition.

To wrap up, Dr. Hannah highlights the importance of accessible information and shares a resource for listeners: their social media accounts on Instagram and TikTok, The Well-Being Doctors (@the.well.being.doctors), which focus on making research on wellness and mental health easy to understand and implement. She encourages listeners to follow their content for practical tips and evidence-based guidance.

✨Let’s anchor in this transformative message: Your body is an instrument, not an ornament. Positive body image isn’t believing your body looks good; it’s knowing your body is good, regardless of how it looks. This quote from More Than a Body beautifully captures the essence of what we’ve explored today.

💡 The fitness industry often sets standards based on bodybuilding gurus and extreme aesthetics—standards appraised by critical judges or an audience that values visual perfection. But let’s be honest: the behind-the-scenes reality of preparing for these aesthetic ideals often includes extreme measures—severe dehydration, malnutrition, laxative and stimulant abuse, and emergency-level exhaustion. No legitimate doctor would ever recommend these tactics for health. They’re the opposite of health-promoting.

💪 Instead, let’s focus on experience and benefit, not being ornaments to be admired. Metabolic health, strength, and stamina are far more meaningful indicators of well-being than achieving a “perfect” appearance. When we prioritize function over aesthetics, we open the door to a new, more effective, and empowering way to experience health and fitness.

🚨 At first, the idea of letting go of weight goals or aesthetic ideals might feel like giving up on your body or your health. But the reality is, letting go of these pressures frees you to reconnect with your body in a way that truly serves you.

🌟 Your body is how you live, love, and experience the world. It’s the way you savor delicious food, dance to your favorite songs, feel the rain on your skin, and embrace the people you love. By focusing on what your body can do rather than how it looks, you can deepen your relationship with it and rediscover what health and fitness really mean for you.

🎙️ So, let’s commit to shifting our focus. Set goals rooted in function, experience, and well-being—not in unrealistic aesthetic ideals. Because when you change the way you think about your body, you’ll find the freedom to live more fully in it.

LINKS

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How to AVOID bad fitness advice

Navigating the Sea of Experts

In today’s digital age, it seems like everyone on social media is an “expert” in health, fitness, and nutrition. With so many voices claiming to have the answers, how can you tell what’s actually beneficial, what’s mediocre, and what might harm your progress? Let’s break it down and help you navigate this complex landscape.

Credentials Matter—But Don’t Get Fooled

While it’s important to consider credentials, they don’t guarantee good advice. Registered Dietitians, Certified Nutritionists, and certifications from organizations like ISSA, ACE, NASM, NCSF, AFFA, ACSM, NETA, and more can show that someone has taken the time to learn. However, even those with certifications can spread misinformation. We’ve seen firsthand how regulatory agencies can be captured by outside interests and how lobbying can influence what gets taught.

If you’re considering working with a coach or trainer, don’t hesitate to ask about their credentials. Slide into their DMs or ask in person: What do those letters behind your name mean?

Educated Recommendations: The “Why” and “How”

Your coach or mentor should have a clear understanding of the “WHY” and the “HOW” behind their recommendations. It’s not just about pushing a workout or diet plan—it’s about making sure you understand the reasoning behind every decision.

When they introduce something new to you, it shouldn’t feel like a sales pitch for their latest product. Instead, ask questions to dig deeper:

  • Why am I doing this?
  • How does this work?
  • What’s happening inside my body to promote these changes?
  • How will this help me achieve my goals while keeping me safe and healthy?
  • Can you teach this to me in another way so I firmly understand it?

These questions will not only help you grasp the concept, but they’ll also weed out anyone who can’t explain their reasoning. If they can’t give you a clear answer, it may be time to move on.

The Bottom Line: Trust Your Instincts

If something feels off, triggering, or harmful to you, trust your gut and ask questions. Don’t let flashy marketing, unrealistic promises, or a push to sell products convince you that something is right for you. Your body and health deserve the best, and that means getting information that is clear, evidence-based, and tailored to your needs.

Remember, the best fitness advice comes from someone who can explain, educate, and empower you, not someone who’s just looking to make a sale. Stay curious, stay skeptical, and don’t be afraid to ask the tough questions. Your fitness journey is too important to leave in the hands of someone who can’t back up their advice.

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Metabolism Myths: Why Dieting Fails

Let’s dismantle the myths, explore the facts, and learn how to stop fighting against your body and start working with it.

Welcome to Taste of Truth Tuesdays—where we challenge the quick-fix culture, dive deep into the science, and find practical ways to take care of our bodies and minds. Today we’re tackling a hot topic: weight loss—or more accurately, fat loss—and why I preach the mantra: “You’ve got to earn the right to diet.”

Our culture is obsessed with weight loss—seriously, it’s everywhere. It’s in magazine headlines, social media posts, and those cringe-worthy commercials promising “30 pounds in 30 days!”

But here’s the deal: when we talk about weight loss, what most of us really want is fat loss. And that’s a critical distinction. For example, when we discussed in our opening episode about Ozempic, some people using the drug experience muscle loss and lower bone density, increasing the risk of injury—especially for older adults. So, losing “weight” can mean losing muscle, water, or even bone density—not exactly what we’re aiming for, right?

Before diving into dieting strategies, let’s start with the fundamentals: metabolism, daily energy needs, and why chasing fat loss without preparation often backfires.

Understanding Metabolism and Energy Needs

First, to break down the metabolism, let’s chat about your Total Daily Energy Expenditure—TDEE, for short. This is the total amount of energy (aka calories) your body burns in a day. Think of it like your budget: how much energy you’re spending to stay alive, digest food, and live your life.

Here’s what makes up your TDEE:

  • 1. Resting Metabolic Rate (RMR)
    • This is your body’s baseline energy burn—the calories you need just to breathe, pump blood, and stay alive.
    • Body size & muscle matter: More muscle means burning more calories, even when you’re chilling on the couch.
    • Age matters too: As we age, we lose muscle and, unfortunately, burn fewer calories. But guess what? It’s never too late to hit the weights and change that!
  • 2. Thermogenesis
    • This is the heat your body produces to maintain a stable temperature. It also includes the Thermic Effect of Food (TEF)—the energy required to digest, absorb, and store the food you eat. About 10% of the calories you consume go toward this process, proving that even digestion is hard work!
  • 3. Physical Activity
    • This includes both Exercise Activity and Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis (NEAT)—everyday movements like walking, housework, thinking, carrying groceries, or even fidgeting. NEAT can make up 15% of your TDEE, while intentional exercise typically contributes around 5%. Never underestimate the power of a good walk!

Fat Loss ≠ Weight Loss

Here’s the thing: your body isn’t a spreadsheet. It doesn’t see your calorie deficit and say, “Oh great, let’s burn fat!” Instead, your body adapts to survive. When you cut calories too hard or for too long, your body gets the message: famine alert! It starts conserving energy and prioritizing survival.

The result? You feel tired, your hair starts thinning, your period might disappear, and fat loss grinds to a halt. This is called metabolic adaptation, and it’s a feature—not a bug. Your body’s goal is survival, not helping you fit into your old jeans.

The Metabolic Aftermath – Lessons from The Biggest Loser

Let’s get into the nitty-gritty science of why extreme dieting is a metabolic disaster waiting to happen. Remember the Biggest Loser study we teased in the first episode of this season? Well, buckle up because we’re about to unpack it further.

To recap: contestants on The Biggest Loser followed an intensely restrictive protocol. They ate roughly 1,200 calories per day and worked out like machines—90 minutes of intense exercise six days a week, sometimes up to five or eight hours daily, according to some contestants. Their grocery lists? Approved by their trainers, and dominated by so-called “Franken-foods” like fat-free cheese and energy drinks. The result? Drastic weight loss during the season. But the aftermath tells a much darker story.

The Study: What Happened Post-Show?

In 2015, six years after their stint on the show, researchers revisited the contestants. By then, they’d regained about 70% of the weight they lost—but their metabolisms didn’t bounce back. In fact, their resting metabolic rate (RMR) was still burning 700 fewer calories per day than when they first started the show. That’s 500 calories less than predictive equations would expect based on their regained body weight. This is a huge deal.

Participants also lost 25 pounds of lean mass during the filming of the show. They did regain about 13 pounds of it, but their RMR didn’t increase accordingly. Usually, regaining lean mass helps boost your metabolism, but not for these contestants. Their bodies were still in “conservation mode.”

Why? Because extreme calorie deficits and grueling exercise regimens wreak havoc on your body’s hormonal systems:

  • Leptin, the hormone that signals fullness and regulates energy expenditure, plummeted during the show. After contestants regained weight, leptin levels rebounded, but their RMR didn’t follow suit. Normally, these two rise and fall together, but the link was severed.
  • These metabolic adaptations weren’t just temporary—they lingered years later, showing that the body doesn’t easily forgive extreme restriction.

What Does This Mean for Us?

Many people think fat loss is all about willpower or psychological resilience. But as this study shows, extreme dieting fundamentally changes your physiology. Your body isn’t just sitting idly while you slash calories; it’s actively fighting back to keep you alive. Once that metabolic “check engine” light goes on, calorie restriction becomes far less effective than it was at the start. This is why dieting feels so much harder over time.

The Cost of Chronic Dieting

The Biggest Loser study highlights the long-term consequences of metabolic adaptation, a normal bodily response to extreme or chronic dieting. Here’s what can happen:

  • Disrupted leptin and ghrelin levels, which throw off hunger and satiety cues.
  • Upregulated adrenal activity and downregulated thyroid and reproductive hormones, leading to weight-loss resistance, missed periods, hair loss, and constant coldness.
  • Loss of muscle mass, which lowers your RMR and makes it harder to maintain fat loss.

This is why I preach: You’ve got to EARN THE RIGHT TO DIET!

Coaching Clients Out of the Yo-Yo Cycle

When new clients come to me, fat loss is often their top goal. But most have already been through cycles of yo-yo dieting, binge eating, and sporadic exercise routines. Many are already in a metabolically downregulated state without realizing it.

Instead of diving into another calorie deficit, we work on stabilizing their foundation first.

  • We focus on sustainable habits: consistent workouts, balanced meals, and a healthier relationship with food.
  • We optimize metabolism through resistance training, proper nutrition, and enough recovery.
  • We work on mindset: reframing negative self-talk, building body confidence, and learning to appreciate progress beyond the scale.

Once we’ve mastered these basics, a fat-loss phase—if desired—becomes a healthier, more effective process.

Your Body Isn’t Broken—It’s Adaptable

The takeaway here? Our bodies are designed to survive famines, not crash diets or “shredding for summer.” You can still have aesthetic goals, but you need to respect the incredible adaptability of your metabolism. By avoiding extremes and building metabolic efficiency, you can achieve your goals without wrecking your long-term health.

Let’s dive into the sneaky sneaky metabolic red flags—the subtle, often-overlooked signs that your metabolism is waving a caution flag without setting off obvious alarms. Here are a few that might fly under the radar:

1. Digestive Woes

  • Persistent constipation, bloating, or irregular bowel movements. These can indicate sluggish digestion linked to metabolic slowdown, as the body conserves energy by slowing non-essential functions.
  • Feeling too full or nauseous after small meals, which could signal a dysregulated gut-brain connection from chronic stress or extreme dieting.
  • How you can start addressing this:
    • Support your gut: Add fermented foods like kefir, sauerkraut, or kimchi for probiotics. Pair these with fiber-rich prebiotics (think asparagus, oats, and onions).
      Ease into meals: Practice mindful eating—slow down, chew thoroughly, and avoid distractions to help your digestion catch up.

2. Resting Heart Rate Changes

  • Lower-than-normal resting heart rate (Sudden spikes in heart rate during light activity could mean your body is stressed and overcompensating.
  • How you can start addressing this:
    • Monitor stress: Incorporate daily relaxation practices like deep breathing, yoga, or meditation to keep your nervous system in check.
    • Increase electrolytes: Boost potassium (bananas, avocados) and magnesium (almonds, spinach or supplements) intake for better heart regulation.

3. Skin and Nail Changes

  • Dry, flaky skin or increased sensitivity to cold due to impaired circulation.
  • Vertical ridges or brittleness in nails, signaling nutrient deficiencies like iron or biotin depletion.
  • How you can start addressing this:
    • Prioritize nutrient-dense animal foods: Incorporate foods like beef liver (rich in vitamin A and zinc), pasture-raised egg yolks, and grass-fed butter for skin elasticity and nail strength.
    • Collagen and gelatin: Include bone broth or collagen-rich cuts like oxtail and shanks to support skin, hair, and nails from the inside out.
    • Omega-3s from wild-caught fish: Salmon, mackerel, and sardines are excellent for reducing inflammation and promoting healthy skin.
    • Hydration through broths: Instead of plain water, hydrate with mineral-rich broths or herbal teas to balance electrolytes and nourish your body.

4. Random Muscle Cramps or Twitches

  • Could be a result of electrolyte imbalances from overexercising or undereating.
  • How to start addressing this:
    • Balance electrolytes: Add a quality electrolyte supplement, especially if you sweat a lot during workouts.
    • Stretch + magnesium: Use stretches and add magnesium glycinate or citrate before bed to reduce cramps.

5 Brain Fog and Forgetfulness

  • Struggling to focus or experiencing slower mental processing, which can result from inadequate glucose availability or dysregulated cortisol levels.
  • How to start addressing this:
    • Fuel your brain: Don’t fear carbs—opt for slow-digesting options like sweet potatoes or quinoa. Pair them with protein and fats for sustained energy.
    • Blood sugar balance: Keep meals consistent in timing and composition (protein + fat + fiber) to avoid crashes.

6. Reduced Appetite

  • Wait, what? Yes! A suppressed appetite after prolonged dieting is a sneaky sign of a dampened leptin response, your body’s way of conserving energy.
  • How to start addressing this:
    • Eat smaller, nutrient-dense meals: Focus on foods that pack a punch like eggs, nuts, and Greek yogurt to avoid overwhelming your system.
    • Gentle refeeding: Gradually increase calories, especially from whole, unprocessed sources, to rebuild your body’s trust. (We talk about this further down in the blog!)

7. Waking Up Exhausted

  • Even after a full night’s sleep, waking up feeling like you didn’t rest at all can be due to poor recovery from stress or disrupted sleep stages (thanks, cortisol and ghrelin!).
  • How to start addressing this:
    • Improve sleep hygiene: No screens an hour before bed, a dark room, and consistent bedtime routines can work wonders.
    • Focus on protein at breakfast: A high-protein breakfast (30-40g) stabilizes cortisol and sets you up for better energy.

8. Dull Libido or No Interest in Sex

  • A metabolic system that’s in survival mode often deprioritizes reproduction.
  • How to start addressing this:
    • Check hormones: Get labs done to check for imbalances in thyroid, sex hormones, or cortisol.
    • Increase zinc: Shellfish, beef, and pumpkin seeds are great for boosting hormones like testosterone.

9. Random Injuries or Slow Healing

  • Susceptibility to injuries like strains or joint pain, and delayed recovery from workouts or cuts, hinting at insufficient energy and nutrients for repair.
  • How to start addressing this:
    • Focus on anti-inflammatory foods: Fatty fish, berries, and leafy greens can help repair tissue.
    • Scale back intensity: Opt for lighter workouts until your body starts feeling strong again.

These subtle signs don’t scream “your metabolism is broken!”—but together, they can whisper it pretty loudly. 

So, finally, what do I mean when I say, “Earn the right to diet”?

We are now talking strategy. Nutrition isn’t a one-size-fits-all, all-the-time thing. It’s seasonal, just like nature.

  • Maintenance Season: Focus on balance and consistency.
  • Fat Loss Season: Create a calorie deficit strategically and temporarily.
  • Reverse Dieting Season: Slowly increase calories post-diet to avoid rebound weight gain.

This approach, called nutritional periodization, prevents the long-term damage we’ve seen in extreme dieters (ahem, Biggest Loser contestants). Instead of burning out your metabolism, you give your body time to adapt and recover.

Nutritional Periodization: The Real Secret Sauce

Timelines for nutritional periodization will vary depending on the person, but the framework is a progressive process. It involves:

  • Gradually increasing calories to support your metabolism.
  • Shifting fitness priorities from cardio-heavy routines to strength-focused programming that builds muscle and improves body composition.
  • Reviving your mindset to understand that fat loss does not automatically mean a better body image or more happiness.

Now, let’s talk about maintenance—the often-overlooked MVP of this entire process.

The Maintenance Window: The Ultimate Flex

Most people gloss over maintenance because it’s not glamorous. There’s no scale-dropping dopamine hit or big “reveal.” But here’s the truth: maintenance is where the magic happens.

  • It’s where you rebuild your metabolism, so when you eventually do enter a fat loss phase, your body responds the way you want.
  • It’s where you master the “basics” (which, by the way, aren’t easy): meal prep, consistent workouts, and stress management.
  • It’s where you cultivate a relationship with food that isn’t all-or-nothing.

Let me share a story to illustrate this:

The Client Who Wanted It Harder

A client came to me desperate to lose weight. She was frustrated with her stomach area and hated the way her clothes fit. I got it. Her pain was real. Her goals were valid. But as we talked, it became clear there was a bigger picture:

  • She had a shoulder injury that limited her workouts.
  • She struggled with GERD, a digestive issue worsened by stress.
  • She was so busy managing her job that she’d forget to eat or rely on takeout for meals.

She was eating roughly 1,400–1,700 calories a day—barely enough for a toddler, let alone a busy adult who wanted to lose weight. Most fat loss programs will have the client start by cutting 15–20% of their total daily intake– from that would’ve been impossible to sustain and would’ve made her health even worse.

I explained this to her. We needed to focus on foundational habits first:

  • Improving digestion by reducing stress and eating whole, nutrient-dense meals.
  • Packing her own lunches instead of relying on fast food.
  • Building strength in the gym without aggravating her shoulder.

About six weeks in, she hit me with this: “This needs to be harder. If it were harder, I’d be doing it.”

I was floored. She was so used to crash diets and extreme programs that not suffering felt wrong to her. I realized we weren’t aligned in values. I told her:

“There are plenty of coaches who will take your money and throw you into a calorie deficit, but that’s not how I practice. I’m about health first, and I won’t compromise on that.”

Why Maintenance Matters

This is exactly why earning the right to diet is critical. If you can’t master the basics in maintenance—like fueling your body properly, managing stress, and being consistent—then making it harder by cutting calories and ramping up exercise will only set you up for failure.

Maintenance is a big deal because it prepares your body and mind for success when the time comes for a fat-loss phase. It’s not just about burning calories; it’s about building a life you can sustain.

If you’re thinking, “This sounds too slow,” remember:

  1. Your body adapts to chronic dieting as a survival mechanism.
  2. Maintenance isn’t a punishment—it’s freedom.
  3. When done right, fat loss becomes easier, healthier, and more effective later.

IN CLOSING! Health First, Always

To wrap this up, I want you to remember one thing: fat loss can be a goal, but it should never come at the expense of your health. By focusing on metabolism, hormones, and habits first, you’re setting yourself up for sustainable success.

A HOLISTIC REBOOT STRATEGY

  1. Reverse Diet Smartly: If you’ve been in a calorie deficit for too long, increase calories by 50-100 per week, focusing on whole, nutrient-dense foods.
  2. Lower Exercise Volume Temporarily: Shift to resistance training 3-4x per week, and sprinkle in restorative activities like walking or Pilates.
  3. Micronutrient Check: Get a blood test to address any vitamin or mineral deficiencies—common culprits are iron, B12, and vitamin D.
  4. Track Baseline Metrics: Keep an eye on resting heart rate, body temperature (shouldn’t be too low), and energy levels to monitor progress. What is biofeedback and why is it so important?
  5. Patience: You didn’t get here overnight, and reversing these adaptations will take time. Celebrate small wins along the way!

The key is sustainability. Think of this as a long-term investment in metabolic health, not a quick fix.

If you enjoyed this episode, share it with someone who’s caught in the cycle of dieting frustration. Let’s help them break free and find a better way forward.

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Understanding Metabolic Health: The Role of Temperature and Pulse

How to Use Temperature and Pulse for Metabolic Health Insights

In the summer of 2020, my health began to take a dive. Years of chronic dieting, over-exercising, negative self-talk, and hormonal birth control were taking their toll. I was eating next to no carbs, minimal sugar, low fat, no dairy, and only lean protein. I was working out six days a week, doing hours of cardio, and feeling terrible physically, mentally, and emotionally. Hypothyroid and adrenal symptoms began to emerge. It was clear my lifestyle was working against my physiology. My metabolism felt ‘broken’ or ‘slow,’ but in reality, I was undernourished and overstressed.

Initially, I started tracking basal temperature but did not include resting pulse rates. At the time, my average temperatures were 96.5°F, and my pulse was 44 bpm. Discovering the “pro-metabolic” community introduced me to the research of Dr. Ray Peat and Dr. Broda Barnes, and it changed my perspective.

According to Dr. Raymond Peat, a well-nourished, healthy human should have a resting pulse of 85+ beats per minute. A high resting pulse (in the absence of stress) indicates good metabolic health and a strong ability to repair. This counters mainstream advice, which often celebrates a low resting heart rate as a marker of fitness.

Why Temps and Pulses Matter

Your thyroid acts as your body’s thermostat, controlling metabolism. Metabolism is the sum of all biochemical reactions in the body—essentially, the rate of energy production in the cells and the speed of bodily processes. Body temperature reflects metabolic activity, and people with underperforming thyroids often have low basal body temperatures.

Tracking basal body temperature and resting pulse provides insights into your thyroid and metabolic function:

  • Basal body temperature can indicate if ovulation has occurred, reflecting progesterone production (a pro-thyroid hormone).
  • Resting pulse shows how well your body is utilizing nutrients and oxygen.
  • Tracking post-meal temperatures and pulses helps identify stress responses and metabolic efficiency.

How to Track Temps and Pulses

To get accurate and actionable insights, follow these steps: Log your readings daily to identify trends over time. Note factors like stress, sleep, meals, and menstrual cycle phases that might influence your results.

  • Choose the Right Thermometer
    • Use a digital thermometer with a quick response time and high accuracy.
    • Glass basal thermometers are also effective but require more time to measure.
  • Measuring Basal Temperature
    • Take your temperature first thing in the morning, immediately after waking, and before getting out of bed.
    • Place the thermometer under your tongue for the most reliable reading. Avoid using armpit readings as they can be less accurate due to environmental factors.
  • Measuring Resting Pulse
    • Use a wearable device, like a fitness tracker, to measure your resting pulse overnight or immediately upon waking.
    • Alternatively, place your index and middle fingers on your wrist or neck to manually count beats for 60 seconds.
  • After Meals
    • Check your temperature and pulse 30-40 minutes after breakfast. These should gently rise after eating, as food lowers stress and generates heat. If they drop, it may indicate elevated stress hormones upon waking.
  • Track Afternoon Readings
    • Record your temperature and pulse between 1-3 p.m. when your body’s temperature should naturally peak.
  • Use a Tracking App or Journal

Questioning the Mainstream Narrative

The Mayo Clinic states: “Generally, a lower heart rate at rest implies more efficient heart function and better cardiovascular fitness. For example, a well-trained athlete might have a normal resting heart rate closer to 40 beats per minute.”

But is a low resting heart rate truly beneficial? Evidence suggests otherwise. Thyroid health—the thermostat of the body—plays a crucial role in metabolism. A sluggish thyroid often correlates with lower body temperatures and slower heart rates, indicators of reduced metabolic function.

Why Temperature and Pulse Matter

Metabolism refers to the sum of all biochemical reactions in the body. It’s essentially the rate of energy production at the cellular level—the speed at which your body processes and utilizes energy. Your body temperature is a reflection of this activity. People with under-functioning thyroids tend to exhibit low basal body temperatures and slower pulses, which can indicate:

  • Low thyroid function
  • Inflammation
  • Suppressed immune function
  • High stress
  • Estrogen dominance

In contrast, a warm body is linked to better immune function, efficient digestion, reduced inflammation, and overall metabolic health.

How to Track Temperature and Pulse

Tracking these metrics throughout the day provides invaluable insights into your metabolic health:

  • Upon Waking:
    • Follicular Phase: 97.2-97.8°F
    • Luteal Phase: 98.6°F
    • Resting pulse: 75-90 bpm
  • After Breakfast:
    • Temperatures and pulse should gently rise after meals. Food lowers stress and generates heat. If your numbers drop, it may indicate falsely elevated waking temps due to stress hormones like cortisol.
  • Afternoon:
    • Temperatures should peak between 1-3 PM.

What Your Numbers Reveal

  • Higher temp and pulse (in the absence of stress): Optimal metabolic function
  • Normal temp and higher pulse: Active stress response
  • Lower temp and lower pulse: Chronic stress and metabolic suppression
  • Normal temp and lower pulse: Chronic stress or low thyroid function

How to Optimize Your Numbers

If your temperature and pulse rates aren’t within optimal ranges, consider the following steps:

  1. Prioritize bioavailable protein: Aim for at least 100 grams per day.
  2. Eat enough calories: 1,800-2,000+ per day, depending on individual needs.
  3. Include digestible carbs: At least 150 grams daily (e.g., honey, maple syrup, fruit, root vegetables).
  4. Pair carbs with protein: Avoid “naked carbs” to stabilize blood sugar.
  5. Focus on anabolic exercise: Build muscle with strength training to boost metabolism.

Why This Matters

Using temperature and pulse as tools, you can:

  • Monitor how well your body utilizes energy.
  • Evaluate recovery from exercise.
  • Gain insights into hormonal balance (e.g., progesterone production and ovulation).
  • Identify the impacts of stress on your physiology.

Final Thoughts

Key Takeaways By regularly monitoring your temps and pulses, you can uncover patterns and make adjustments to optimize your thyroid and metabolic health. These small, daily practices provide powerful insights into how your body is functioning and what it needs to thrive.

Healing is never a final destination; it’s an ongoing journey. Over time, I’ve seen significant improvements in my metabolic markers. My overall body temperature has risen to 97.6–98.1°F, and my resting pulse is now around 70 bpm—much better than where I started. This progress has required me to embrace a larger body size than what traditional “fit fam” culture promotes, but it has been worth it. Prioritizing healing and hormone rebalancing has provided my body with the sense of safety and stability it needed to thrive.

To read more about the doctor that pioneered these tests grab the book called Hypothyroidism: The unsuspected illness by Dr. Broda Barnes

✌🏼Looking for more support navigating your cycle with fitness & nutrition? Check out my FREE guide & pro-metabolic strength training guide available for purchase!

LINK to apply for 1:1 coaching ❤️

Sources 👇🏻

PMID: 28740582
PMID: 26792255
Dr. Ray Peat