Thanksgiving marks a season of reflection, yet gratitude isn’t always easy to come by—especially after an election year, when cognitive overload and societal stress dominate our attention. This isn’t just a personal struggle; neuroscience suggests our brains are wired to focus on negativity, a phenomenon called negativity bias. This tendency, coupled with cultural norms emphasizing individual success and the relentless comparisons driven by social media, makes practicing gratitude a skill we must consciously develop.
In my work as a coach and host of Taste of Truth Tuesdays, I often explore how habits—like fitness, nutrition, or mindfulness—shape not just our bodies, but our minds. Gratitude operates the same way: it’s not a passive feeling, but an active practice. According to Dr. Monica Johnson, gratitude has the power to rewire your brain, reducing stress and boosting resilience. Here’s why it can be so hard—and how you can overcome those challenges.
Why Gratitude Feels So Hard
1. Negativity Bias
Our brains are wired to prioritize threats and negative experiences over positive ones. This evolutionary survival mechanism can make it harder to notice or appreciate the good in our lives.
2. High Expectations and Comparisons
Social media amplifies the pressure to compare our lives to others, often creating unrealistic standards. When our focus shifts to what we lack, gratitude takes a backseat.
3. Cognitive Overload and Stress
Life moves fast, and our schedules are packed. Reflecting on what we’re thankful for requires slowing down—a luxury stress and busyness don’t easily allow.
4. Cultural and Social Conditioning
In cultures that prize personal achievement and material success, gratitude can feel secondary. Celebrating milestones and accomplishments may overshadow smaller, everyday joys.
5. Mental Health Challenges
Depression, anxiety, and trauma can make it difficult to recognize and appreciate the positives in life. These conditions often shift focus to worries, fears, or a sense of helplessness.
6. Entitlement Mindset
When we feel entitled to certain comforts or successes, it diminishes our ability to see them as gifts, fostering dissatisfaction instead of gratitude.
7. Lack of Practice
Gratitude is a skill, not just an attitude. Without consistent effort, it’s easy for this muscle to weaken.
The Science of Gratitude: Three Proven Strategies
Fortunately, research provides powerful tools to strengthen gratitude. These practices are straightforward, effective, and supported by science.
1. Gratitude Journaling
One of the simplest and most effective methods is keeping a gratitude journal. Regularly writing down three to five things you’re thankful for has been shown to boost emotional well-being and reduce stress.
As a gardener and homesteader, I’ve found parallels here: journaling is like planting seeds of positivity. With time, those seeds grow into a garden of resilience and contentment.
Why it works:
A study by Dr. Robert Emmons, a leading researcher on gratitude, found that journaling helps rewire the brain by reinforcing positive experiences. This practice shifts focus away from what’s missing in your life toward what’s already there.
How to do it:
Spend five minutes each evening listing specific things you’re grateful for.
Be detailed—rather than “I’m grateful for my family,” write, “I’m grateful for the family dinner we had tonight where everyone laughed together.”
2. Gratitude Letters or Visits
Writing a heartfelt letter to someone who has positively impacted your life is another effective practice. Even better? Deliver the letter in person or send it to them.
Why it works:
Research highlighted by Dr. Monica Johnson of The Savvy Psychologist shows that thanking someone you’ve never properly appreciated increases happiness immediately and for up to a month afterward. The act deepens relationships and reinforces a sense of connection.
How to do it:
Reflect on someone who has helped or supported you in a meaningful way.
Write a sincere letter describing what they did and why it mattered.
Deliver it, either in person, through a video call, or via mail.
For me, this practice reminds me of the people who’ve supported my journey—from launching my podcast to building a small homestead.
3. Mental Subtraction of Positive Events
Instead of focusing on what you’re grateful for, imagine your life without certain positive aspects. This “mental subtraction” technique can powerfully enhance your appreciation for what you have.
Why it works:
A study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology revealed that imagining life without key blessings intensifies gratitude by showing how much worse life could be. This perspective shift cultivates appreciation even for things we take for granted.
How to do it:
Think about a cherished relationship, opportunity, or moment in your life.
Reflect on how your life would be without it.
Let this realization deepen your gratitude for that aspect of your life.
I often reflect on what life would be like without the small joys I’ve cultivated—like watching our garden grow or exploring life with my 3 dogs. It’s a powerful way to deepen appreciation for the present.
Gratitude is a Skill Worth Building
Gratitude might not come naturally, but with consistent practice, it can become a cornerstone of emotional resilience and happiness. By journaling, expressing thanks to others, and practicing mental subtraction, you can train your brain to focus on the good—even amidst life’s challenges.
Gratitude isn’t just a feel-good emotion—it’s a powerful mental tool that rewires your brain for better health and happiness. Through neuroplasticity, gratitude practices such as journaling or simply expressing thanks, strengthen neural pathways linked to positive emotions and weaken those associated with stress or negativity. This results in reduced anxiety, lower cortisol (the stress hormone), and improved mood
But the benefits don’t stop at mental health. Gratitude is also linked to better heart health, stronger immune function, and improved sleep quality. By calming the nervous system, gratitude promotes relaxation and a sense of well-being. Plus, it enhances emotional intelligence, fostering empathy, compassion, and stronger social connections
As Dr. Monica Johnson reminds us, gratitude is like a muscle: it grows stronger the more you use it. This Thanksgiving, and in the year ahead, let’s commit to cultivating gratitude as a daily habit. The rewards—a brighter perspective, deeper connections, and greater joy—are well worth the effort.
Gratitude isn’t about ignoring pain or hardship—it’s about recognizing the value in the journey. Whether you’re navigating personal struggles, cultural pressures, or simply a stressful holiday season, gratitude offers a way to stay curious, grounded, and resilient.
For more information on the 365 Easy Challenge for 2025, click here!
Which gratitude strategy will you try first? Let me know in the comments!
For a deeper exploration of the science of gratitude, you can check out these insightful resources:
Books:
The Gratitude Diaries by Janice Kaplan – This book blends personal storytelling with scientific research on the power of gratitude in transforming daily life.
Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier by Robert Emmons – Emmons, one of the leading researchers in the field, explores the science behind gratitude and how practicing it can improve physical and mental health.
The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor – Achor discusses how happiness, including gratitude, can lead to success in work and life by creating a positive mindset.
Studies and Articles:
Gratitude and Well-being (Greater Good Science Center) – A collection of studies demonstrating that gratitude can improve overall well-being, reduce stress, and enhance relationshipsGreater Good.
A study published in Psychology of Well-Being found that practicing gratitude regularly can help reduce negative emotions and promote a greater sense of life satisfactionGreater Good.
TED Talks:
“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown – Brown explores how embracing vulnerability, along with gratitude, leads to a deeper connection with others and personal well-being.
“What’s So Funny About Gratitude?” by Robyn Stratton-Berkessel – In this talk, Stratton-Berkessel discusses the profound impact that asking about positive experiences can have on fostering gratitude in everyday life PositivePsychology.com.
“The Secret to Happiness is Helping Others” by Mike Robbins – Robbins highlights how gratitude, especially when expressed towards others, can create a ripple effect of kindness and well-beingPositivePsychology.com.
These resources provide a rich blend of personal, scientific, and practical perspectives on how gratitude can enhance our lives.
New Episode Alert: The Dark Side of MLMs and Coercive Control
🚨 This Week on Taste of Truth Tuesdays 🚨, we’re diving into the complex and manipulative world of multi-level marketing (MLM) companies—uncovering the coercive control tactics they use to keep people hooked. 🧠💸 MLMs don’t just sell products. They sell a dream—a dream of financial freedom, wealth, and unlimited success. The problem? That dream is often built on deceptive tactics that prey on vulnerability, foster magical thinking, and emotionally manipulate their members.
At first glance, MLMs seem like a golden opportunity. They promise wealth, freedom, and independence—targeting people who are seeking a way out of financial struggle or a traditional 9-to-5. But underneath those glittering promises are dangerous tactics that prey on human psychology, exploiting emotional weaknesses to create loyalty and blind devotion.
A key tactic MLMs use is magical thinking. This is the belief that positive thoughts and visualizations alone can bring success, wealth, or health. A 2019 study in Frontiers in Psychology revealed that many MLMs sell products—like supplements and essential oils—by making unverified claims about curing diseases, with little to no scientific evidence to back them up. 😳
Why Is Magical Thinking So Dangerous?
Magical thinking isn’t just harmless optimism. In the context of MLMs, it can lead people to make poor financial and health decisions. Here’s why it’s so dangerous:
🚫 False Sense of Control: Magical thinking tricks people into believing they can control outcomes simply by thinking positively. This false confidence can prevent them from taking real, actionable steps to improve their situation.
🚫 Health Risks: MLMs often push supplements and oils with promises of “miracle cures” for serious illnesses—without scientific validation. People may choose these products over actual medical treatments, putting their health in danger.
🚫 Emotional Manipulation: By convincing members that failure is due to their lack of belief or effort, MLMs shift the blame from the system to the individual. This creates a toxic cycle of guilt and shame, trapping people emotionally in the MLM.
Coercive Loyalty and Emotional Manipulation
Beyond magical thinking, MLMs use coercive control tactics to create a false sense of community and belonging. They foster an atmosphere of loyalty where members feel pressured to stay positive, constantly recruit new people, and never question the system.
💥 Coercive Loyalty: Members are often told that the reason they’re not successful is because they’re not trying hard enough, recruiting enough, or believing in themselves. This turns failure into a personal flaw, rather than a flaw in the business model.
💥 Community Pressure: MLMs thrive on social dynamics, where members are encouraged to pressure their friends and family into joining. This creates a network of dependency and makes it harder for people to leave, even when they start seeing the cracks in the system.
💥 Emotional Exploitation: Guilt, shame, and failure are powerful emotional tools used by MLMs. When people don’t succeed, they’re often made to feel as if they didn’t believe in the product or themselves enough. This emotional manipulation keeps members invested—financially, mentally, and emotionally—even when the odds are against them.
Breaking Free: Real Stories of Escaping MLMs
In this week’s episode, we also share real stories of individuals who have been trapped in MLMs and how they broke free. These stories highlight the emotional, financial, and mental toll that MLMs take on their members, and how difficult it can be to escape once you’re in the cycle. 😳
Why You Need to Listen
If you’ve ever been approached by someone pushing a “life-changing opportunity” or a “groundbreaking product,” this episode is for you. If you’ve been tempted to join an MLM—or know someone who has—this episode is essential listening. We’re unpacking the toxic blend of pseudoscience, community pressure, and emotional exploitation that keeps MLMs running, and sharing actionable tips on how to recognize the red flags before it’s too late. 🚩
Tune in to this week’s episode of Taste of Truth Tuesdays to learn how to protect yourself from the manipulative tactics of MLMs and avoid falling into their web of magical thinking and emotional control. Whether you’re considering joining an MLM or are currently involved, understanding these tactics is key to protecting your financial and emotional well-being.
Did you know your body can help your brain feel more hopeful through movement?
In our fast-paced world, finding effective ways to boost our mental and physical well-being is more crucial than ever. Recent research highlights an exciting phenomenon: our muscles aren’t just for movement; they act as endocrine organs, secreting beneficial substances known as hope molecules. These molecules, or myokines, have a profound impact on our brain, body, and mood, offering a natural and powerful way to enhance our overall health.
What Are Hope Molecules?
Hope molecules are proteins released into the bloodstream from our muscles during movement. These myokines play a vital role in:
Protecting against depression, PTSD, and chronic stress
Increasing neuroplasticity, which helps our brain adapt and grow
Altering the hippocampus, a brain region crucial for stress resilience
Boosting brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), which enhances our ability to manage stress and difficult emotions
Dr. Kelly McGonigal succinctly puts it: “Every time we move our muscles, we are giving ourselves an intravenous dose of hope.” This means that even a short burst of movement can significantly impact our mental health, providing an antidepressant effect that enhances resilience to stress and trauma.
For instance, a short walk or a quick workout doesn’t just get the blood pumping; it also triggers the release of these mood-enhancing chemicals. This phenomenon is sometimes referred to as an “antidepressant effect,” where the physical act of moving your body leads to the release of neurotransmitters that can lift your spirits and combat feelings of depression.
Moreover, this boost in mood and resilience isn’t just about the immediate effects. Regular short bursts of exercise contribute to long-term mental health benefits, enhancing your ability to cope with stress and trauma. By incorporating even small amounts of movement into your daily routine, you can help your body produce more hope molecules, thereby strengthening your mental health and emotional resilience.
So, the next time you’re feeling low, remember that a little movement might just be the key to unlocking your body’s natural antidepressants and enhancing your capacity to handle life’s challenges. 🚶♀️💪🌟
The Mind-Body Connection: Insights from the “Mind Over Milkshake” Study
To deepen our understanding of how movement and mindset intersect, consider the fascinating findings from the study titled “Mind Over Milkshake: Mindsets, Not Just Nutrients, Determine Ghrelin Response.” This research explores how our beliefs about the food we consume can alter physiological responses, such as hunger and energy regulation.
Participants in the study were given milkshakes with differing calorie information, but their physiological responses varied based on their expectations. The study demonstrated that our mindset about what we consume can impact hormonal and physiological reactions, revealing the powerful connection between belief and bodily responses.
Similarly, our mindset towards exercise can greatly influence the benefits we derive from it. Viewing exercise not merely as a physical task but as a source of hope and well-being can amplify its positive effects on our mental health.
Why Movement Matters More Than We Think
Understanding that hope molecules and our mindset play a critical role in our health highlights the multifaceted benefits of exercise. It’s not just about weight loss or physical fitness; it’s about enhancing:
Happiness and life satisfaction
Resilience to stress and anxiety
A sense of purpose and social connection
Emerging research suggests that when exercised, our muscles essentially become a “pharmacy” for our physical and mental health. This perspective shifts the focus from restrictive exercise goals to a more holistic view of movement as a tool for improving our quality of life.
Applying Hope Molecules to Recovery from High-Control Environments
For those recovering from high-control environments, such as strict religious or ideological communities, the concept of hope molecules is particularly relevant:
Resilience and Recovery: Engaging in regular movement can help mitigate the effects of chronic stress and trauma often associated with high-control environments. The release of myokines (hope molecules) during physical activity supports brain health and emotional resilience, aiding in the recovery process.
Regaining Control: Movement and exercise can be empowering for those who have felt controlled or restricted. It offers a way to regain a sense of agency and control over one’s body and mind, promoting healing and personal autonomy.
Restoring Mental Health: For individuals recovering from harmful environments, exercise can provide a natural antidepressant effect. Regular physical activity enhances mood, reduces symptoms of depression, and supports overall mental health, which is crucial for those rebuilding their lives and self-esteem.
Practical Tips for Integrating Movement into Recovery
Start Small: Incorporate any form of movement into your routine, even if it’s just a few minutes each day. Studies indicate that as little as 3 minutes of exercise can have positive impacts.
Adopt a Positive Mindset: Frame your physical activity as an opportunity for mental and emotional growth, not just a chore. This mindset can enhance the benefits you receive.
Enjoy the Process: Find activities you enjoy and that make you feel good. The more you enjoy your movement, the more likely you are to stick with it.
Build a Routine: Establishing a consistent movement routine can support long-term recovery and well-being. Integrate movement into your daily life in a way that feels sustainable and rewarding.
Connect with Community: Movement can also foster social connections. Engaging in group activities or fitness communities can provide additional support and a sense of belonging, which is valuable for those recovering from isolating environments.
Hacking Consistency: Your Path to Achieving Health Goals
In my 20 years as a personal trainer, I’ve seen one common thread that holds people back from achieving their health and fitness goals: consistency. For many, the journey to better health is fraught with the misconception that it must be difficult. If you resonate with this, I want you to know that I understand how intimidating change can be. It can feel like a long road ahead, but I’m here to share some tips to help you hack consistency and make your health journey not only achievable but also enjoyable.
1. Habit Stacking: Start Small
The first strategy to develop consistency is habit stacking. Focus on one or two small habits that you can easily commit to. Once you’ve established these, you can begin to build additional habits on top of them.
For example:
Starting Habit 1: A 5-minute morning walk. This quick stroll can boost your mood and energy levels, providing an immediate sense of accomplishment.
Starting Habit 2: A one-minute breathing exercise. Before your walk, try a simple box breathing technique: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, and hold again for 4 seconds. This practice can reduce stress and help center your mind.
Once you have these foundational habits in place, you can stack additional practices:
Post-Walk Habit: After your 5-minute walk, add 2-3 minutes of gentle stretching. Focus on your neck, shoulders, and legs to release tension and enhance the mental health benefits of movement.
Post-Breathing Habit: After your breathing exercise, incorporate a quick moment of gratitude. Name one thing you’re grateful for to reinforce positive thinking and cultivate a hopeful mindset. This simple act can help you recover from emotional strain and improve overall well-being.
Starting small with these habits allows you to create a consistent and sustainable routine.
2. Focus on Addition, Not Restriction
The second tip for hacking consistency is to concentrate on what you can add to your life rather than what you need to take away. This could involve increasing your movement, enhancing your awareness, practicing breathwork, or incorporating more protein, fruits, and vegetables into your meals. When you focus on adding positive elements, it becomes easier to embrace change and maintain consistency.
3. Find Personal Meaning
Your journey to feeling better should be tied to personal meaning and intrinsic motivation. This means tapping into your internal drive to pursue these changes. Reflect on why you want to achieve your health goals and let that guide your actions. When you find personal significance in your journey, it becomes a source of motivation rather than a chore.
4. Build Self-Efficacy
Self-efficacy is crucial in creating a sustainable lifestyle. It’s about building belief in yourself over time and understanding that consistency is the key to lasting results. Instead of thinking in terms of short-term challenges, consider how you can develop habits that last long-term. Routines created from consistent habits lead to sustainable success.
Building on habits is what creates a routine. A routine is what creates consistency and consistency is what creates results.
Awareness is the first step in bridging the gap between your goals and the actions you need to take. While you may have aspirations, it’s consistent behaviors and actions that make them a reality.
Mindset Matters
Remember, if you’re struggling to maintain consistency, it’s not a reflection of your willpower or determination; it could be a sign that your approach needs adjustment. Your mindset is vital in this journey. Frame your movement as an opportunity to boost your brain and body rather than a chore or punishment.
By implementing these strategies, you can transform your health journey into a rewarding experience. Consistency is everything. Embrace the process, celebrate your achievements, and watch as you progress toward your goals!
Broader Implications for Personal Development
The principles of hope molecules tie into broader themes of personal development, critical thinking, and spirituality:
Challenging Limiting Beliefs: Movement and exercise can challenge limiting beliefs about oneself and one’s capabilities. This aligns with the focus on critical thinking and questioning restrictive ideologies.
Embracing New Perspectives: Seeing movement as a tool for embracing new perspectives and opportunities for growth is crucial for those redefining their lives after leaving high-control environments.
In conclusion, the science of hope molecules reveals that our muscles do much more than move us; they create hope and enhance our mental well-being. By embracing movement and adopting a positive mindset, we can unlock these powerful benefits and cultivate a more resilient, fulfilling life.
Embrace the power of hope molecules and experience the transformative effects on your mental and physical health.
RESOURCES:
For a comprehensive understanding of the role of hope molecules (myokines) and their impact on mental and physical health, the following studies and sources are highly relevant:
Key Studies and Sources
Myokines and Mental Health
Pedersen, B. K., & Febbraio, M. A. (2012). “Muscle as an endocrine organ: Focus on muscle-derived cytokines as potential pharmacological targets.”Diabetologia, 55(10), 2975-2985. Link to Study This review discusses how muscle-derived cytokines (myokines) are involved in various physiological processes and their potential therapeutic effects on metabolic diseases, inflammation, and mental health.
Exercise, Hope Molecules, and Brain Health
Gordon, B. A., & Herring, M. P. (2014). “The effect of exercise on depression: A review of meta-analyses.”Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 75(2), 156-161. Link to Study This meta-analysis reviews the impact of exercise on depression, highlighting how physical activity influences mental health through various mechanisms, including the release of beneficial myokines.
Hope Molecules and Neuroplasticity
Hogan, M. C., & Durcan, J. M. (2018). “Exercise and neuroplasticity: A review of the role of physical activity in promoting brain health and cognitive function.”Journal of Clinical Neurology, 14(3), 342-350. Link to Study This review examines how exercise-induced myokines contribute to neuroplasticity, cognitive function, and overall brain health.
Mindset and Physiological Responses
Crum, A. J., & Langer, E. J. (2015). “Mindset matters: Exercise and the placebo effect.”Psychological Science, 26(4), 663-670. Link to Study This study explores how individuals’ beliefs and mindsets about exercise can influence their physiological responses and overall effectiveness of physical activity.
Exercise, Stress Resilience, and Mental Health
McGonigal, K. (2015). “The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It.”Penguin Books. While not a study, this book by Dr. Kelly McGonigal provides insights into how stress, when managed effectively, can be beneficial. It complements research on how exercise and movement can positively influence mental health through stress resilience.
“Mind Over Milkshake” Study
Elder, R., & Croyle, R. T. (2011). “The role of expectations in health behavior: Mindset and health.”Health Psychology Review, 5(1), 2-12. Link to Study This study investigates how people’s expectations about what they consume affect their physiological responses, illustrating the influence of mindset on health outcomes.
In this week’s episode, we dive into the power of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) tapping — a unique blend of traditional Chinese medicine and modern psychology. By tapping on specific meridian points while addressing emotional struggles, EFT helps release energy blockages, reducing stress, anxiety, and even trauma. 🌱✨
In this powerful episode, I sit down with holistic healing expert Theresa Piela to explore the deep connection between chronic stress and health. Theresa shares her personal story of hitting rock bottom in 2019, when chronic illness nearly led to organ failure. We dive into the guilt and exhaustion that comes with being chronically ill in a toxic world, and how healing techniques like Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) tapping can offer relief. 🌱✨
We’ll explore how EFT has shown promising results in mental health, from lowering cortisol levels to easing PTSD symptoms in veterans. However, with its roots in spiritual and energetic practices, EFT has sparked controversy in some Christian communities. Join us as we unpack these perspectives and discuss how EFT can be a powerful tool for both emotional and physical healing.
The Impact of Stress on the Body
Understanding Stress:Theresa breaks down the three stages of stress and how they manifest in our daily lives, leading to digestive issues and chronic illnesses. She sheds light on the silent havoc that prolonged stress wreaks on our gut health and overall bodily functions.
The Three Stages of Stress and the Fawning Response: Understanding How High-Control Religions Impact Emotional Well-Being
Stress is an inevitable part of life, but how our bodies and minds respond to it can vary significantly depending on the intensity and duration of the stressor. Hans Selye, a pioneering endocrinologist, developed the General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS) to describe the body’s physiological response to stress. This model helps explain how prolonged stress affects overall health and well-being. While the three stages of stress capture the body’s core reactions, the behavioral response known as fawning—especially common among individuals who have come out of high-control environments like fundamentalist religions—adds another layer to this discussion.
The Three Stages of Stress: General Adaptation Syndrome
Selye’s General Adaptation Syndrome describes how the body responds to stress over time, detailing three distinct stages:
1. Alarm Stage
This is the initial, immediate response to a stressor. When faced with a perceived threat, the body goes into “fight or flight” mode, releasing adrenaline and cortisol. These stress hormones increase heart rate, sharpen focus, and provide a surge of energy to prepare you to either confront the threat or escape it. In modern life, this could be triggered by anything from a work deadline to an argument with a loved one.
2. Resistance Stage
If the stressor continues beyond the initial shock, the body enters the resistance stage. While the outward signs of the fight-or-flight response might fade, internally, the body is still on high alert. Stress hormones like cortisol remain elevated, and the body tries to adapt and cope. However, this stage can’t last forever. Prolonged exposure to stress at this level takes a toll on the body, potentially leading to mental and physical exhaustion.
3. Exhaustion Stage
When stress continues for a prolonged period without adequate recovery, the body eventually reaches the exhaustion stage. Here, the body’s resources are depleted, and it can no longer function normally. Symptoms such as fatigue, depression, anxiety, and even burnout may manifest. The immune system weakens, making the individual more vulnerable to illness and disease.
Understanding these stages is crucial for recognizing when stress becomes chronic and dangerous. But there’s more to the picture when considering how stress affects behavior—especially in people who have experienced trauma or high-control environments.
Enter the Fawning Response: A Behavioral Reaction to Trauma
Fawning doesn’t fit neatly into the General Adaptation Syndrome model because it’s a behavioral rather than a purely physiological response. Still, it’s crucial to understanding how certain people cope with chronic stress or trauma, particularly in interpersonal or high-control environments.
The “Four Fs” of trauma responses—Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn—describe various ways people react when they feel threatened. While fighting, fleeing, or freezing are instinctive survival responses, fawning is a more subtle and less discussed way of coping, often rooted in a need to appease the threat to maintain safety.
What Is Fawning?
Fawning involves appeasing or placating others to avoid conflict or harm. People who fawn try to please or appease the person or situation causing the stress in order to de-escalate the threat. Instead of confronting the stressor (fight), avoiding it (flight), or becoming immobilized (freeze), a person who fawns seeks to reduce the danger by submitting, people-pleasing, or over-accommodating.
This behavior often develops in individuals who have experienced prolonged stress or trauma, especially in abusive, manipulative, or high-control environments like toxic relationships or fundamentalist religions.
How Fawning Fits into the General Adaptation Syndrome Model
Although fawning isn’t a stage of stress, we can still see how it might manifest within the GAS framework:
Alarm Stage: Fawning could be an immediate response to the initial stressor. Rather than fleeing or fighting, someone might instinctively try to placate the threat. For instance, in a high-control religion, a person might conform instantly to avoid punishment or conflict.
Resistance Stage: If the stress persists, fawning can become a habitual response during the resistance stage. The person continues engaging in appeasement behaviors, attempting to manage the ongoing stressor while sacrificing their own needs and well-being in the process.
Exhaustion Stage: Over time, relying on fawning as a coping mechanism can lead to emotional and physical exhaustion. Constantly trying to meet others’ demands, avoiding conflict, and suppressing one’s own needs results in burnout and emotional depletion.
Fawning and High-Control Religions: The Long-Lasting Impact
People who come out of high-control religions often exhibit the fawning response as they attempt to navigate new environments and relationships. These religions typically operate with strict rules, strong hierarchies, and harsh consequences for dissent. As a result, members often suppress their own needs and opinions to avoid punishment or ostracism.
Even after leaving these environments, the pattern of fawning often persists. The deeply ingrained survival mechanism of appeasing authority figures to avoid conflict becomes habitual. This behavior may manifest in various ways:
People-pleasing: Going out of their way to accommodate others, even at the expense of their own well-being.
Difficulty asserting boundaries: Struggling to say no or express personal needs and preferences, often feeling guilty for doing so.
Fear of conflict: Avoiding disagreements or confrontations out of fear of rejection or punishment.
Self-silencing: Suppressing thoughts, feelings, and opinions in order to maintain harmony and avoid disapproval.
For those deconstructing from high-control religions, the fawning response can be particularly challenging to recognize and unlearn. Many may not even realize that their behaviors are rooted in a trauma response. Helping individuals understand and break these patterns is essential for their emotional recovery.
Moving Forward: Unlearning Fawning and Rebuilding Self-Worth
Breaking the cycle of fawning involves learning to assert boundaries, rebuild self-worth, and reclaim personal autonomy. This is not an easy process, especially for those who have spent years in environments where appeasement was essential for survival. Therapy, support groups, and self-compassion can be powerful tools in helping people regain their sense of self after leaving high-control environments.
By recognizing fawning as a response to trauma and stress, individuals can begin to unlearn these behaviors, reclaim their identity, and create healthier relationships—both with others and with themselves.
Understanding stress responses, both physiological and behavioral, is key to supporting individuals who are recovering from trauma. Recognizing the fawning response and how it fits into the broader stress picture can open the door to healing for those emerging from high-control situations like fundamentalist religions.
Mindset & Thought Shifting: Changing How We React to Stress
We must first accept that stress is a normal and natural part of life. Short-term stress, when followed by ample recovery, can enhance cognition and boost our capabilities. It’s like strength training: with proper recovery, the stress we place on our muscles leads to gains. However, persistent stress, if not managed properly, can be damaging. This is why we must shift our relationship with stress.
In times of severe depletion and exhaustion, recovery takes time and commitment. Start by meeting yourself where you are. Shift your mindset by deliberately choosing thoughts that signal to your body that everything is okay. Surround yourself with calming influences—whether it’s people, sounds, colors, or landscapes—that make you feel safe and hopeful. This isn’t a luxury; it’s a requirement for healing. Equally important is removing stimuli that drain you and recognizing that your body has an incredible capacity to heal when given the right tools.
As the Dalai Lama once said, “If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”
Fuel & Nutrition: Supporting Your Body’s Adaptive Stress Response
Just as important as shifting your mindset is fueling your body with the right nutrients. A starved or inflamed system will struggle to adapt to stress, especially when trying to balance internal chaos. Proper nutrition is key to supporting the body’s stress response.
When the body isn’t fueled properly, persistent stress leads to harmful effects, such as blood sugar swings, hormonal dysregulation, and weakened immunity. To counteract this, we need to provide the body with the building blocks it needs to recover.
Here’s a high-level look at what your body requires for optimal function:
Proteins: Anti-inflammatory sources like grass-fed beef, broths, shellfish, and dairy.
Carbohydrates: Glucose and fructose from fruits, honey, maple syrup, and root vegetables.
Fats: Saturated fats are essential.
Vitamins & Minerals: Vitamin C, D, E, B1, B6, B12, calcium, magnesium, copper, sodium, potassium, selenium, and zinc.
Addressing intestinal permeability, blood sugar imbalances, and other stress-induced dysfunctions through proper nutrition will help rebuild resilience. For those with severe gut issues, a nutrient-dense, elimination-style diet—like carnivore plus easy-to-digest carbs—may be necessary short-term to restore balance.
In the end, listening to your body is critical. Experiment with what makes you feel good, trust yourself, and remember: you know best.
By shifting your mindset and supporting your body with proper fuel, you can navigate life’s stressors with resilience and strength.
Ever wonder why stress keeps you up at night?
Sleep Disruption and Hormones: How Stress, Trauma, and Hormonal Imbalances Impact Sleep Quality
Sleep is one of the most critical factors for overall health, and yet, it’s often disrupted by stress and hormonal imbalances. In this section, we’ll dive into how stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline interfere with sleep, explore the impact of early life trauma on sleep quality, and discuss how the menstrual cycle and hormonal imbalances can further complicate our ability to achieve restful sleep.
Stress Hormones and Sleep Disruption
Stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline play significant roles in the body’s response to stress, but when they’re constantly elevated, they can wreak havoc on our sleep.
Cortisol: Often referred to as the “stress hormone,” cortisol follows a natural rhythm called the circadian rhythm. In healthy individuals, cortisol levels are highest in the morning to help us wake up and get ready for the day, and they naturally decline in the evening to prepare the body for rest. However, when we are under chronic stress, cortisol can become dysregulated. Instead of dropping at night, elevated cortisol levels can keep us in a state of alertness, making it difficult to fall asleep or stay asleep. This leads to frequent waking, shallow sleep, and feeling unrefreshed in the morning.
Adrenaline (Epinephrine): Adrenaline is the hormone responsible for the fight-or-flight response, which prepares the body to face a threat by increasing heart rate, blood flow, and energy levels. If adrenaline surges before bed—due to stress, anxiety, or even unresolved trauma—it can make falling asleep nearly impossible. You might feel restless, agitated, or have racing thoughts, all of which disturb the calm necessary for a good night’s sleep.
Practical Strategies for Managing Stress Hormones for Better Sleep
Create a Wind-Down Routine: Establishing a relaxing pre-sleep routine helps signal to your body that it’s time to rest. This can include dimming lights, turning off electronic devices (which emit blue light and can increase cortisol), and engaging in calming activities like reading, gentle stretching, or meditation.
Balance Blood Sugar: Blood sugar spikes and crashes can trigger cortisol release. Eating a well-balanced meal with protein, healthy fats, and complex carbohydrates before bed can stabilize blood sugar levels and prevent cortisol surges during the night.
Supplement Support: Some supplements, such as magnesium, have been shown to help reduce cortisol levels and promote relaxation. Herbal adaptogens like ashwagandha and holy basil can also support the body’s stress response and reduce cortisol.
Mind-Body Techniques: Practices like yoga, deep breathing exercises, and progressive muscle relaxation can help lower cortisol and calm the nervous system before sleep.
The Impact of Early Life Trauma and Adverse Events on Sleep
Early life trauma or Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) have profound effects on the body’s stress response systems, which can manifest later in life as sleep disturbances. Research shows that people who have experienced trauma, particularly in early development, often have overactive sympathetic nervous systems and altered cortisol levels, leading to difficulty achieving deep, restorative sleep.
Hypervigilance: Trauma survivors often experience hypervigilance, a heightened state of awareness where the body is constantly scanning for potential threats, even during sleep. This state of heightened arousal makes it hard to relax, and the individual may have trouble entering deeper stages of sleep like REM (Rapid Eye Movement) or slow-wave sleep.
Fragmented Sleep: Those with a history of trauma may wake frequently during the night, as their bodies remain on high alert. This fragmentation prevents the deep, uninterrupted sleep necessary for physical and emotional recovery.
Nightmares and Flashbacks: Trauma-related nightmares are common and can disrupt sleep, causing the individual to wake in distress. Flashbacks, even during waking hours, can trigger the body’s stress response, elevating cortisol and adrenaline and making sleep difficult.
Strategies to Address Sleep Disruption in Trauma Survivors
Trauma-Informed Therapy: Engaging in trauma therapy, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), can help individuals process traumatic memories and regulate their nervous system responses, ultimately improving sleep.
Grounding Techniques: Practicing grounding exercises, such as focusing on your breath or engaging your five senses, can help bring your body back into the present moment, reducing hypervigilance and promoting relaxation before bed.
Sleep-Friendly Environment: Creating a sleep environment that feels safe and secure is crucial for trauma survivors. Using weighted blankets, soothing sounds, and minimizing noise or light disturbances can enhance feelings of safety during sleep.
The Role of Menstrual Cycles and Hormonal Imbalances in Sleep Disruption
For many women, sleep disturbances can be closely tied to the fluctuations in estrogen, progesterone, and other hormones that occur throughout the menstrual cycle. Hormonal imbalances, especially during perimenopause or menopause, can further exacerbate sleep issues.
Estrogen and Progesterone: These hormones play vital roles in regulating sleep. Estrogen promotes sleep by increasing serotonin, a neurotransmitter that helps regulate mood and sleep patterns. Progesterone has a calming, sedative effect on the brain and helps prepare the body for sleep. However, imbalances in these hormones—whether due to the menstrual cycle, pregnancy, or menopause—can lead to insomnia, night sweats, and difficulty staying asleep.
Premenstrual Sleep Disruption: Many women experience disrupted sleep in the luteal phase of their cycle (the days leading up to menstruation), when progesterone levels spike and then rapidly drop. This sudden shift can lead to insomnia or restless sleep, often accompanied by PMS symptoms like bloating, mood swings, and cramps.
Perimenopause and Menopause: As women approach menopause, declining estrogen and progesterone levels can lead to hot flashes, night sweats, and other symptoms that interfere with sleep. The lack of estrogen can also cause vaginal dryness and discomfort, further disrupting rest.
Cortisol and Menstrual Cycles: High cortisol levels, often due to stress, can also impact the menstrual cycle by suppressing the release of sex hormones, leading to irregular periods or exacerbating PMS symptoms, which in turn disrupt sleep.
Practical Strategies for Hormonal Sleep Issues
Track Your Cycle: By tracking your menstrual cycle, you can become more aware of patterns in sleep disturbances and adjust your habits accordingly. For instance, you might prioritize stress management techniques and good sleep hygiene during the luteal phase.
Herbal Support: Certain herbs like chasteberry (Vitex), black cohosh, and red clover can help balance estrogen and progesterone levels, potentially reducing sleep issues related to PMS or menopause.
Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT): For women in perimenopause or menopause, bioidentical hormone replacement therapy (BHRT) can help restore hormone balance, improving sleep quality. Consulting a healthcare provider about HRT options may be helpful.
Takeaway: Supporting Hormonal Balance for Better Sleep
Stress, trauma, and hormonal imbalances each play a major role in sleep disruption, but by managing stress hormones, addressing trauma, and supporting hormonal health, you can improve your ability to achieve deep, restorative sleep. Prioritizing sleep hygiene, engaging in calming practices, balancing blood sugar, and supporting hormone levels with natural or medical interventions are key strategies in restoring balance and reclaiming restful nights.
Nutritional and Lifestyle Adjustments: Theresa shares actionable tips on how to nourish your body for better sleep. From balancing blood sugar to enjoying nutritionally dense meals, she emphasizes the importance of tuning into what your body needs, rather than following rigid dietary rules. We also explore the benefits of bedtime snacks like fructose, carbs, and chamomile tea to promote restful sleep.
Emotional Resilience and Self-Compassion: In a world that demands so much from us, Theresa encourages us to meet ourselves with curiosity and compassion. She reminds us that it’s okay to feel frustrated, angry, or tired—these emotions are part of being human. Through self-experimentation and treating ourselves with the kindness we would offer a child, we can navigate the healing journey with more grace.
Tune in to this episode for a heartfelt and insightful discussion that will leave you with practical tools and a renewed sense of hope on your path to healing. Whether you’re struggling with insomnia, chronic stress, or just trying to find balance in a chaotic world, Theresa’s wisdom is not to be missed.
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Amygdala hijacking refers to an emotional response where the amygdala, a part of the brain responsible for processing emotions like fear and anger, overrides the more rational prefrontal cortex. This results in an immediate, intense emotional reaction that may not align with the actual situation or its demands. It’s a term popularized by Daniel Goleman in his book Emotional Intelligence.
The Science Behind It
Amygdala Activation: When we perceive a threat, the amygdala activates and triggers the “fight-or-flight” response. This can lead to rapid and intense emotional reactions.
Cortex Override: The prefrontal cortex, responsible for higher-order thinking and decision-making, is temporarily bypassed during this process. This can result in impulsive actions or responses that we later regret.
Biological Basis: This mechanism is rooted in our evolutionary past, where quick reactions to potential dangers were crucial for survival.
The amygdala is the part of the brain responsible for processing emotions like fear and anger, and it can override the more rational prefrontal cortex. This results in an immediate, intense emotional reaction that may not align with the actual situation or its demands.
Interesting Facts
Evolutionary Perspective: Amygdala hijacking is an adaptive response from our ancestors who needed to react swiftly to threats. However, in modern contexts, it can lead to overreactions in situations where a calm, rational response would be more appropriate.
Stress Impact: Chronic stress can heighten the likelihood of amygdala hijacking, leading to more frequent emotional outbursts and difficulty managing stress effectively.
Amygdala Hijack in Dogmatic Communities
Fear-Based Teachings: Constant fear in these environments keeps people in a perpetual state of alertness, reducing rational thought.
Groupthink: Heightened emotions can suppress dissent and reinforce dogmatic beliefs.
Manipulation: Leaders might exploit these reactions to maintain control and keep members emotionally aroused and manipulable.
Understanding Emotional Hijacking & Complex PTSD
In the book📘Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker, it sheds light on what Goleman refers to as “amygdala hijacking”—an intense, overwhelming emotional regression that pulls us back to the states of fear, shame, and depression we experienced in childhood.
How Do You Know If You’re in an Amygdala Hijack? 🤔
Here are some signs that you’re in the midst of one:
Intense Emotional Response: If you’re feeling an overwhelming emotion like rage, panic, or intense frustration, that seems to come out of nowhere, this could be a sign of an amygdala hijack.
Tunnel Vision: When your focus narrows, and it feels like all you can see or think about is the source of your stress or anger, your brain’s rational thinking process is being overridden.
Physical Reactions: Notice if your body is responding—heart racing, palms sweating, muscles tensing. These physical signs often accompany an amygdala hijack as your body prepares for ‘fight or flight.’
Impulsive Behavior: Acting without thinking, like shouting, making rash decisions, or storming out of a room, can be a clear indicator that your amygdala has taken over.
Regret or Embarrassment Later: If you find yourself feeling regretful or embarrassed about your reaction after the fact, it’s likely that your prefrontal cortex (responsible for reasoning) was bypassed during the moment.
Recognizing these signs in the moment can be challenging, but it’s the first step toward managing and mitigating their impact.
How this impacts you:
While in a stressed out, sympathetic state, our decision making will be impulsive, emotional and geared towards instant gratification.
In this state, the vagus nerve (our body’s master control switch) can impact everything from immune function to gut health, all the way to how we behave in social settings.
Research: It takes time for your brain to recover from this stress response, but mindfulness and cognitive strategies can help manage it.
Want 13 Tips for Managing Amygdala Hijacks?
We all experience these intense emotional responses, but the good news is there are strategies to help you regain control and respond more calmly.
In this week’s podcast episode, we break down these 13 actionable tips to help you navigate these moments with greater awareness and poise. Whether it’s learning how to pause before reacting or practicing mindfulness techniques, we’ve got you covered.
The amygdala hijack is a powerful brain response that can override our rational thinking, especially in high-stress or dogmatic environments. However, understanding its mechanisms and the role of nutrition in emotional regulation can help us manage our responses more effectively.
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