This week, I’m diving headfirst into the turbulent intersection of women’s suffrage, the resurgence of Christian patriarchy, and the trendy ‘trad wife’ movement. Buckle up as we unravel how these historical battles and modern movements collide, revealing their surprising connections—from the ongoing struggle for gender equality to the modern reinvention of traditional roles. Prepare for a journey through past and present that challenges conventional wisdom and ignites critical conversations.
My Deconstruction Journey
In recent months, I’ve explored how radicalization, conspiracies, and religion have shaped my life. In Episode 5 of my podcast, we tackled the “crunchy hippie to alt-right pipeline,” but now it’s time to shine a light on the radicalization of the left—a topic often overlooked. Why did I go from progressive circles to mingling with Trump supporters and Christians? This shift was marked by a range of events and trends reflecting broader changes within progressive movements and their impact on American politics and culture.
Black Lives Matter Protests and Social Justice Movements
The murder of George Floyd ignited the Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement, but what often goes undiscussed is the scrutiny BLM faced over fund management. Allegations of financial mismanagement emerged in 2021, raising questions about how substantial donations were handled. The movement also brought the call to “defund the police” into the spotlight, advocating for reallocating funds to social services and community programs. However, cities like San Francisco, which initially reduced police funding, faced rising crime rates and eventually reinstated funding in 2022, acknowledging that some defunding measures had not achieved their intended outcomes.
Increased Political Activism and the Role of Cancel Culture
The 2020s saw a rise in intersectionality and identity politics, aiming to address overlapping forms of oppression. However, this sometimes led to contentious debates over ideological purity and inclusivity, particularly in online activism. Cancel culture became prominent, with debates over holding public figures accountable for perceived offenses. While some view it as necessary for social justice, others argue it suppresses free speech and stifles constructive dialogue.
Vaccine Hesitancy and the Crunchy-to-Patriarchy Pipeline
My reluctance to receive an experimental vaccine led to severe ostracism, as those hesitant about COVID-19 vaccines often faced dehumanization and cancel culture. This harsh treatment highlighted how cancel culture can suppress nuanced debate and alienate individuals with genuine concerns.
Dr. Stanley Plotkin, a prominent figure in vaccinology, and some of his colleagues recently published an article that has drawn significant attention. The article acknowledges that vaccines are not as thoroughly studied as previously claimed, particularly in terms of safety, both before and after they are licensed. This has raised concerns among critics, who argue that for decades, the public was assured that vaccines underwent rigorous safety testing.
Key points from the article include the admission that prelicensure clinical trials often have limited sample sizes and short follow-up periods, which may not fully capture long-term safety data. Additionally, there are currently no dedicated resources for post-authorization safety studies, relying instead on annual appropriations approved by Congress. This lack of resources for ongoing safety monitoring has been criticized as inadequate, particularly given the widespread use of vaccines.
This revelation has been met with strong reactions, especially from those who have long questioned the rigor of vaccine safety studies. They argue that these acknowledgments confirm their concerns that vaccine safety has not been as thoroughly investigated as it should be.
In a previous episode, we scratched the surface of the Trad Wife and Stay-at-Home Girlfriend Movements. These movements, advocating traditional gender roles, see them as spiritually fulfilling and empowering, rejecting modern feminism while embracing modern cultural influences. We discussed the fear tactics within this online content that manipulates users by promoting apocalyptic scenarios and moral decay. Today, we’re diving deeper into this topic.
Historical Context and Kitchen Design
Before delving into the 19th Amendment, let’s explore the evolution of kitchen design as a reflection of changing gender roles and societal expectations:
- Post-Civil War to Early 20th Century (1865-1930s): Kitchens transitioned from being managed by enslaved people to paid workers, with labor-saving appliances emerging and the housewife ideal taking shape.
- Mid-20th Century (1930s-1960s): The post-WWII era emphasized suburban living and reinforced the housewife’s role as a symbol of the American dream, driven by economic prosperity and suburban expansion.
- 1974 Bill on Women’s Financial Independence: The Equal Credit Opportunity Act granted women the right to open bank accounts and obtain credit cards in their names, a significant step towards financial equality.
Today’s ‘trad wife’ movement glamorizes the mid-century housewife as a personal choice, not a patriarchal trap. But let’s be real—this nostalgic comeback is less about empowerment and more about rolling back feminist progress, cherry-picking conservative values to fit a romanticized narrative. It’s time to call out the toxicity and acknowledge that the nuclear family ideal doesn’t have to be a patriarchal prison.
Connecting Women’s Suffrage and Christian Nationalism
This week marks the anniversary of the 19th Amendment, a milestone for women’s rights. However, despite granting voting rights, many women of color continued to face disenfranchisement. The rise of ideologies challenging this progress, such as Nancy Pearcey’s claim that women’s suffrage was a net loss, reflects a broader trend of dominionism and Christian nationalism. Pearcey’s book, The Toxic War on Masculinity, embraced by right-wing fundamentalist figures, has been criticized for its logical fallacies and misrepresentation of research.
A Critique of Nancy Pearcey’s The Toxic War on Masculinity
Pearcey argues that the expansion of women’s roles and rights has led to a “war on masculinity,” promoting binary gender stereotypes and overlooking intersectional perspectives. Critics point out that Pearcey’s use of John Gottman’s research is misleading. Gottman’s studies indicate that emotionally intelligent husbands succeed in both egalitarian and hierarchical marriages, but Pearcey omits that her argument falls apart when complementarian men abandon hierarchical behaviors, exposing a significant ideological bias in her work.
Contextualizing These Views
These views reflect a broader conversation within conservative Christian circles about gender roles. Figures like Joel Webbon and Doug Wilson argue against women’s suffrage from a theological standpoint, emphasizing traditional gender roles and critiquing the expansion of women’s public and political presence as contrary to biblical principles. The Southern Baptist Convention’s conservative shift and the rise of New Calvinism further illustrate this trend, as these movements emphasize male-led church governance and promote traditional gender roles.
Motivations Behind the Movements
Supporters of traditional values aim to uphold stability and traditional family roles, rejecting modern feminism and valuing a nurturing home environment. Fear tactics are prevalent in online content that merges wellness with extreme ideologies, manipulating users by promoting fear of worldly dangers, apocalyptic scenarios, or spiritual consequences.
Historical Precedents: Satanic Panic and Moral Panics
Movements like the Satanic Panic of the 1980s and ’90s stoked fears of occult influences, leading to widespread moral panic. Similarly, today’s online narratives can exaggerate or fabricate threats to bolster ideological adherence, using fears of societal collapse or moral decay to urge followers towards conservative values.
Personal Reflections: Manipulation and Belonging
I remember the day I was first drawn into evangelical Christianity. It wasn’t through logic or a carefully reasoned argument; it was through the power of a story—a testimony, to be exact. The speaker shared a dramatic tale of transformation, from the depths of despair and darkness into the light of salvation. Her voice trembled with emotion, and tears glistened in her eyes as she described the overwhelming peace and joy she found in Christ. I was captivated. It wasn’t just a story; it was a call, a plea for me to experience the same miraculous change.
The manipulation was subtle but powerful. The emotions stirred within me were intense, almost overwhelming. I felt a sense of urgency, as if my own life depended on making the same decision she had. It was as though I could feel the darkness closing in on me, and the only escape was to step into the light she described so vividly. Fear played a significant role in this manipulation. I was warned of the dire consequences of rejecting this path, of the eternal damnation that awaited those who turned away. This fear was not just for my soul but for my life here and now. I was told that without Jesus, I would continue to live in confusion, loneliness, and despair.
What made it all the more compelling was the promise of belonging. I had always felt somewhat out of place, disconnected from those around me. But here was a community that promised acceptance, a family where I would always belong. The concept of biblical femininity and submission was introduced as a path to fulfillment, as a way to finally fit into a role that had been designed specifically for me by God. I was told that by embracing my role as a submissive wife and mother, I would find true happiness and purpose.
But looking back, I realize how these tactics exploited my vulnerabilities. The emotional manipulation, the fear-based messaging, and the promise of belonging were all tools used to mold me into someone I wasn’t. They weren’t concerned with my true self; they wanted to shape me into their image of the ideal Christian woman—submissive, obedient, and unquestioning.
What’s more disturbing is how these tactics aren’t unique to evangelical Christianity. I’ve since learned that similar strategies are employed in other religions, such as Islam. I’m sure you’re like me, and have heard that it is the fastest growing religion, but have you looked into the pew research into why? There’s a growing pressure on women within some Islamic communities to recruit other women. They shower potential converts with love, bombarding them with messages of acceptance and sisterhood. It’s all designed to draw them in, to make them feel special and chosen. Once they’re in, the pressure to marry and fulfill their role as a wife and mother can be intense. Just as I was drawn into a community that promised to complete me, these women are often led to believe that their worth is tied to their role within the family and the broader religious community.
The parallels are striking. Both exploit the human need for connection and purpose. Both use emotional manipulation and fear to control and convert. And both can lead to a loss of self, where the individual’s identity is subsumed by the demands of the group.
Reflecting on my experience has been painful, but it’s also been empowering. I now see how I was manipulated, how my fears and desires were used against me. And I’m committed to helping others recognize these tactics for what they are—tools of control, not pathways to truth.
Delving into Christian Interpretations of Morals and Values
As we wrap up today’s discussion, let’s delve into the complexities surrounding Christian interpretations of morals and values, particularly through the lens of historical and cultural relativism. Critics of biblical revelation question the reliability and authenticity of the biblical manuscripts, highlighting the human elements that have shaped the text’s transmission and interpretation.
Read more here on why I think Biblical Inerrancy is harmful.
When it comes to contentious issues like abortion, the selective interpretations of scripture used by some pro-life Christians illustrate a broader trend of reconciling faith with personal and societal values. Historically, Christian views on abortion were more diverse and often more permissive, with significant shifts occurring in the 1970s with the rise of the Religious Right.
Reflecting on these issues, Niel Van Lewen pointed out an intriguing observation: the pro-life stance might often function more as a signaling mechanism than a genuine, consistent commitment to protecting life. This dichotomy suggests that pro-life evangelicals might seek to pass laws protecting unborn embryos while avoiding practical measures—like universal daycare—that could significantly reduce the number of abortions.
This illustrates the ethical and scriptural inconsistencies surrounding the pro-life stance. By examining these discrepancies, we gain a clearer understanding of the challenges inherent in reconciling pro-life advocacy with practical, compassionate approaches to supporting life.
The Trad Wife Controversy: Unpacking Traditional Values in Modern Contexts
The discussion around traditional values and gender roles is gaining momentum, and the “trad wife” movement sits at the heart of this debate. One prime example that brings these ideals to light is the Ballerina Farm controversy, a social media phenomenon showcasing a curated version of traditional domestic life. This aligns closely with the trad wife ideals, which have faced criticism for romanticizing a regressive view on gender roles.
The Ballerina Farm Controversy: Empowerment or Regression?
Ballerina Farm presents a vision of traditional domestic life that resonates with many who see it as an empowering choice. However, it also faces criticism for glamorizing roles that are deeply rooted in patriarchal norms. Houseinhabit, a popular commentator, argues that Ballerina Farm isn’t about regression but about choice. She suggests that Hannah Neeleman, the face behind Ballerina Farm, embodies success measured not by corporate titles but by personal contentment and family harmony, grounded in her faith. This perspective emphasizes that true feminism should respect the diverse paths women take, fostering understanding rather than division.
The Patriarchal Norms Behind the Ideal
While Houseinhabit’s perspective is important, it’s crucial to examine the patriarchal underpinnings of such movements. Practices that might seem problematic to outsiders—like Daniel’s rushed engagement and control over Hannah’s education—are often normalized within their cultural context. These actions reflect broader adherence to patriarchal values, including homeschooling with a Christian Mormon syllabus, underscoring a commitment to traditional gender roles.
Mormon Influencers: A New Recruitment Strategy?
Adding another layer to this discussion is the role of Mormon influencers in social media recruitment. Recent research reveals how the LDS Church uses social media to attract new recruits, with influencers, particularly families, promoting Mormonism on platforms like Instagram and YouTube. This strategy leverages the appeal of traditional family values and domestic harmony to attract a broader audience. The Church’s use of influencers as a recruitment tool highlights the appealing aspects of traditional lifestyles while potentially overshadowing the complexities and criticisms associated with these roles.
Media, Tradition, and Patriarchy
This interplay between traditional values and modern media illustrates a broader societal pattern where the presentation of traditional roles can obscure their roots in patriarchal structures. Media portrayals, while sometimes uncomfortable, are not about dehumanizing individuals but about revealing systemic issues. Often, patriarchal norms are defended as personal choices, overlooking the deep societal influences at play. If gender roles were reversed, these issues might become more apparent, prompting a need for more nuanced discussions on how traditional values intersect with contemporary gender dynamics.
My Experience with Patriarchal Ideologies
Critically evaluating such content is essential, as these narratives can have far-reaching implications for personal beliefs and societal attitudes. From my own experience with evangelical Christianity, I was involved in a biblical counseling program that reinforced patriarchal control, severely limiting my autonomy. In one workbook, I was given an excerpt from The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace, which outlined ways a wife should glorify her husband. The expectations included:
- Asking your husband about his goals for the week.
- Organizing household duties meticulously, prioritizing your husband’s needs over everything else.
- Talking about him positively to others, regardless of the truth.
These teachings were not just fringe ideas but central resources within Biblical Counseling, the Southern Baptist Convention, and many non-denominational churches. This ideology, deeply woven into church communities, perpetuates a system where a wife’s identity and value are entirely subdued under her husband’s goals and image.
The Harmful Implications of Patriarchal Ideologies
- Idolatry of the Husband: Obeying a husband is equated with obeying God, placing the husband in the position of an idol. This subordinates divine will to a human figure, distorting spiritual faith and leaving no room for a wife’s autonomy or moral agency.
- A Warped View of Womanhood: Women are seen as more susceptible to deception, and their rightful place is akin to a ‘slave’ who should expect no recognition. Basic human desires, like wanting to be treated with kindness, are labeled as ‘idolatrous.’
- Enabling Abuse: The book glorifies suffering within marriage as a form of righteousness, encouraging women to endure cruelty and manipulation. This traps women in dangerous, often life-threatening, situations by positioning divorce as rebellion and making church discipline the first recourse instead of contacting authorities.
- Stigmatizing Mental Health Care: Seeking professional help is equated with a lack of faith, alienating women from essential support systems that could help them navigate emotional and psychological challenges.
These ideas, while well-intentioned, perpetuate a system where the wife’s identity and value are entirely subdued under her husband’s goals and image. The dangerous implications of this ideology are not confined to overtly religious communities. Similar themes of female submission are found in movements rejecting modern egalitarian values in favor of a constructed ideal of natural order, which often masks deeply patriarchal and oppressive beliefs.
The Bigger Picture: Understanding the Trad Wife Trend
The trad wife trend isn’t just a nostalgic yearning for the past; it’s a deliberate effort to reinstate rigid gender roles that diminish women’s rights and freedoms. By critically examining resources like The Excellent Wife and drawing connections to broader social and cultural trends, we can better understand and challenge the insidious nature of this propaganda.
For those still in the church, it’s crucial to stand up against these harmful teachings. From my own experience, gender norms that emphasize tenderness over assertiveness hinder a woman’s ability to address unfair treatment effectively. Women submitting to their husbands is a dangerous ideology. Research shows that conservative, highly religious men are far more likely to perpetrate intimate partner violence. Hypermasculinity is one of the most powerful predictors of men’s likelihood to commit assault, and couples where the husband dominates decision-making processes are more likely to experience lower marital satisfaction.
Liberation and Progress
The liberation of women from oppression is crucial for fostering a more equitable and just society. When women are fully liberated, they can contribute their talents, perspectives, and skills to all aspects of life, including politics, economics, and culture. This liberation not only benefits women individually but also leads to societal progress by dismantling systemic barriers and promoting inclusivity.
Conclusion: Opening the Dialogue
I invite you to join the dialogue about gender, family, and cultural norms. Have you observed or encountered these dynamics? As a collective, we cannot ignore the role of algorithms and social media in amplifying compelling narratives and creating echo chambers. Understanding the motivations behind these movements allows us to engage in meaningful dialogue and advocate for continued advancements in gender equality.
Through my journey of deconstructing abuse within the church, I’ve realized that complementarianism, often presented as a theological stance, is fundamentally patriarchal and a root cause of oppression and abuse. Navigating these dynamics helps us grapple with the complexities of today’s ideological landscapes and invites us to critically evaluate how historical precedents and technological influences continue to shape our beliefs and societal structures.
Thank you for joining me in this exploration of faith, ideology, and societal change. Let’s continue to question, reflect, and engage with the world around us. And as always, maintain your curiosity, embrace skepticism, and keep tuning in.
19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution: Women’s Right to Vote (1920) | National Archives
19th Amendment ‑ Definition, Passage & Summary | HISTORY
Women’s Suffrage Was a Net… LOSS?! | The New Evangelicals (youtube.com)
https://bethallisonbarr.substack.com/p/maybe-i-agree-with-pearcey-after
https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2015/04/02/religious-projections-2010-2050/
Taste0ftruth Tuesdays 