Tag: evangelical

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Weaponized Forgiveness, Institutional Abuse, and Evangelical Justifications for Harm

Forgive and Forget? The Dark Side of Christian Forgiveness Culture

One of the main reasons I left mainstream Christianity is the way forgiveness has been weaponized. It’s used not as a path to healing but as a tool to silence victims, excuse harm, and protect institutions.

Instead of confronting abuse, many churches demand those survivors “forgive as they have been forgiven,” which conveniently shields perpetrators and absolves leadership from responsibility. Nowhere is this clearer than in the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC)—the largest Protestant denomination in the U.S.—which has spent decades covering up abuse while doing the bare minimum to protect children.

What Is the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC)?

The Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) is the largest Protestant denomination in the U.S., with over 47,000 churches and 13 million members as of 2024. Founded in 1845, the SBC split from northern Baptists over slavery and has since maintained a conservative theological stance.

The SBC holds complementarian beliefs, teaching that men and women have distinct, God-ordained roles with male headship in both the church and the home. This doctrine reinforces strict gender hierarchies, contributing to a culture of silence around abuse, particularly when male leaders are involved.

The SBC’s Persistent Failure to Protect Children

Despite its size and influence, the SBC has long failed to protect children from abuse. Recent reports show that only 58% of SBC-affiliated congregations require background checks for staff and volunteers working with children, and in smaller churches, this number drops to just 35%. A past audit revealed 12.5% of background checks flagged criminal histories that could disqualify individuals from church roles. These numbers underscore the SBC’s ongoing failure to address its own scandals.

Even if some churches struggle financially, it’s grossly irresponsible to assume volunteers are qualified without basic screenings. Churches should at the very least implement strict policies and mandatory training on abuse prevention and reporting—but the data proves otherwise.

Source: Southern Baptist Membership Decline Slows, Baptisms and Attendance Grow | Lifeway Research | May 7, 2024

SBC’s Hidden Influence: The Non-Denominational Loophole

Many churches that appear to be “non-denominational” are quietly affiliated with the SBC for financial and structural support. This means:

  • They may not openly use “Southern Baptist” in their name, yet still receive funding, resources, and pastoral training from the SBC.
  • Their leadership and policies often align with SBC doctrine, even if they market themselves as independent.
  • Some SBC-affiliated churches hide their connections to avoid association with the denomination’s abuse scandals, while still benefiting from its network.

This hidden network allows the SBC to maintain significant influence over American evangelicalism, even among those who believe they’re attending independent churches. And when scandals emerge, the denomination claims little accountability over individual churches, even as it continues to fund them.

  • The Guidepost Report (2022) exposed that SBC leadership maintained a secret list of over 700 abusive pastors, shielding them from consequences while survivors were ignored, discredited, or retaliated against.
  • Jennifer Lyell, an SBC abuse survivor, was vilified by church leadership when she came forward. Instead of support, she was publicly shamed, and her abuser faced no consequences.
  • Christa Brown, another survivor, spent years advocating for reform after being assaulted by her youth pastor. The SBC’s response? Stonewalling, gaslighting, and further silencing.

This is not an anomaly. It’s a pattern.

The Hillsong Scandal: A Deep Dive into Leadership, Accountability, and Institutional Culture

Hillsong Church, once hailed as a beacon of contemporary Christianity with its celebrity-driven worship services and massive global influence, has been mired in a series of scandals that have sent shockwaves through the church and beyond. The drama surrounding Hillsong reflects much deeper systemic issues within religious institutions, particularly those that prioritize celebrity culture, financial power, and unchecked leadership.

Brian Houston and His Father’s Abuse Scandal

At the heart of the Hillsong scandal is the case of Brian Houston and his handling of sexual abuse allegations against his father, Frank Houston, a founding member of the Assemblies of God in New Zealand. Frank Houston’s abuse of children became widely known, but Brian Houston’s failure to act—despite being aware of the allegations for decades—has raised serious questions about the church’s culture of secrecy and its prioritization of protecting its leaders over seeking justice for victims.

In 2021, Brian Houston was charged with covering up his father’s abuse, but he was acquitted in 2023. While the legal outcomes may be behind him, the moral and ethical questions surrounding his actions remain. His failure to report the abuse to the authorities and the lack of transparency in how Hillsong handled the situation speaks to the larger issue of institutions shielding leaders from accountability, especially when their actions threaten the church’s public image.

Carl Lentz and Leadership Failures

Another key figure in the Hillsong saga is Carl Lentz, the former lead pastor of Hillsong New York. Lentz’s celebrity status, especially his close relationships with figures like Justin Bieber, elevated him to international fame. But in 2020, Lentz was fired from his position after admitting to an extramarital affair. The church’s response to Lentz’s scandal raised more questions than answers. Hillsong failed to address the broader cultural issues at play—namely, a leadership model built on celebrity culture and a lack of accountability.

The church’s focus on its brand, public image, and the reputations of its leaders made it easier to overlook the toxic dynamics that led to Lentz’s behavior. His fall from grace demonstrated the dangers of elevating leaders to superstar status, where moral accountability is secondary to their influence and popularity.

Financial Mismanagement and Lack of Transparency

Financial scandals have also been a hallmark of Hillsong’s decline. Despite its non-profit status, Hillsong has faced accusations of lavish spending by its leaders, including Brian Houston, and financial mismanagement that prioritized the comfort of senior leaders over the needs of the congregation. Hillsong’s lack of financial transparency has led many to question how donations were being spent, particularly when its leaders were living luxurious lifestyles while the church’s financial practices remained opaque.

Reports have shown that church members had little insight into the church’s budgeting or financial decisions, raising alarms about how donations were being used. This financial opacity has created a culture of distrust, with many questioning whether Hillsong truly operated as a faith-based organization or as a business built around its leaders’ financial gain.

Celebrity Culture and Unchecked Leadership

The rise of Hillsong as a “celebrity church” is a clear example of the dangers of celebrity culture within religious organizations. Leaders like Brian Houston and Carl Lentz became more known for their status than their spiritual leadership. This culture created a disconnect between the mission of the church and the behaviors of those at its helm, fostering an environment where moral failings were excused, and accountability was pushed aside in favor of maintaining the church’s celebrity-driven image.

The celebrity culture at Hillsong is not an isolated phenomenon—many mega-churches and influential religious organizations have succumbed to similar dynamics. Leaders are often viewed as untouchable figures whose actions are excused because of their fame and influence. This lack of accountability has led to repeated scandals and a breakdown in trust between church leadership and their congregations.

A Culture of Silence and Protection

Celebrity culture and the culture of silence are both hallmarks of Christian culture, where forgiveness is weaponized to silence victims and maintain the church’s authority. Survivors who seek accountability are often told they are “bitter” or “holding onto unforgiveness,” while abusers are framed as sinners in need of grace.

This forced-reconciliation model doesn’t just silence victims—it actively enables abusers. Over and over, religious institutions have shielded predators while insisting their victims move on.

  • The Catholic Church sex abuse scandal followed the same pattern—priests were quietly transferred rather than removed.
  • The Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) was exposed in 2022 for covering up hundreds of abuse cases, prioritizing its reputation over protecting the vulnerable.
  • The Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP), made infamous by Shiny Happy People, used its teachings to guilt victims into silence, reinforcing submission as godliness.
  • The Mormon Church (LDS) has been accused of systematically covering up child sexual abuse, instructing bishops to handle cases internally rather than report them to authorities. The “help line” for abuse victims has been exposed as a legal shield to protect the church from liability.
  • Jehovah’s Witnesses have a longstanding pattern of protecting sexual predators under their “two-witness rule,” which requires at least two people to witness abuse for it to be considered valid. This impossible standard allows abusers to go unpunished while victims are shunned for speaking out.

This cycle continues because religious institutions prioritize obedience and reputation over accountability. Instead of advocating for justice, they demand submission—a dynamic that ensures abuse thrives in the shadows, disguised as grace.

The Evangelical Rejection of Modern Psychology

Many evangelicals reject modern psychology, fearing it undermines biblical authority and promotes a so-called “victim mentality.” Books like Bad Therapy are used to discredit trauma-informed approaches, mental health care, and gentle parenting—reinforcing the belief that obedience and submission matter more than emotional well-being.

But this isn’t just about dismissing psychology—it’s about control. Evangelical spaces often use forgiveness as a tool to suppress legitimate pain and absolve abusers of accountability. Instead of being a process that centers the victim’s healing, forgiveness is reframed as an obligation, a test of faith that prioritizes reconciliation over justice.

This kind of messaging pressures survivors into “forgiving and forgetting” under the guise of spiritual growth. As Susan Forward explains in Toxic Parents, this demand for immediate forgiveness often leads to “premature reconciliation,” where the victim is pushed to restore relationships without ever addressing the harm done. She describes how toxic family systems—and by extension, religious institutions—weaponize guilt, framing any resistance to reconciliation as bitterness, rebellion, or even sin. Forward emphasizes that true healing requires acknowledging pain, setting boundaries, and understanding that some relationships are too harmful to maintain. Forgiveness, in this sense, should never be about dismissing harm but about reclaiming personal agency.

Similarly, Pete Walker in The Tao of Fully Feeling critiques how many forgiveness frameworks, particularly those influenced by religious teachings, encourage victims to suppress righteous anger rather than process it. He argues that when people are pressured to forgive too soon, they bypass the necessary emotional work of grief and anger, which are essential steps in healing. Walker describes how survivors of abuse are often gaslit into believing that their pain is an obstacle to their spiritual growth rather than a justified response to harm. In contrast, he advocates for harvesting forgiveness out of blame—a process that allows victims to first fully validate their experiences, express their anger, and grieve their losses before even considering forgiveness. This approach reframes forgiveness as something that should serve the survivor’s well-being rather than the comfort of the perpetrator.

This is why modern psychology takes a different approach. Unlike evangelical teachings that frame forgiveness as a duty, trauma-informed perspectives recognize that forgiveness is a choice—one that should empower the survivor, not burden them with more guilt. True healing requires honoring all emotions, including anger, rather than rushing to absolution for the sake of appearances or religious pressure.

ACBC “Biblical Counseling”: When Religion Overrides Psychology

Another significant issue within certain Christian communities is the rise of the Biblical Counseling movement, particularly through the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC) and its Nouthetic Counseling model. This approach starkly rejects psychological expertise and promotes the belief that biblical wisdom alone is sufficient to address mental health struggles, trauma, and even domestic violence. While this may seem like a spiritual response to real-world issues, it often exacerbates the trauma and leads to harmful advice.

One glaring problem with ACBC counseling is its lack of professional psychological training. Many of its so-called counselors do not possess accredited education in mental health fields. Instead, they rely on an outdated and rigid interpretation of scripture that reduces complex psychological issues to mere spiritual shortcomings. This is particularly dangerous in cases of trauma, mental illness, and domestic violence, where the guidance of trained mental health professionals is crucial.

Additionally, ACBC’s approach often results in victim-blaming, particularly for women who are struggling with abuse or neglect. Rather than providing the resources and support these women need, the movement encourages them to endure hardship with a sense of spiritual submission. This can exacerbate feelings of helplessness and self-blame, which are already prevalent among victims of abuse.

My Experience within ACBC Biblical Counseling

I was involved in a biblical counseling program that reinforced a system of patriarchal control, stifling my autonomy and presenting a distorted view of marriage and gender roles.

One of the most telling moments was when I encountered an excerpt from The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace in one of the workbooks. The list of expectations outlined for a wife to “glorify” her husband was staggering and disempowering. It included directives like:

  1. Organizing cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, and cooking while fulfilling your “God-given responsibility” so that your husband is free to focus on his work.
  2. Saving some of your energy every day for him.
  3. Prioritizing your husband above children, parents, friends, jobs, Bible studies, etc., and rearranging your schedule whenever necessary to meet his needs.
  4. Speaking positively about him to others and never slandering him—even if what you’re saying is true.
  5. Doing whatever you can to make him look good, from running errands to helping accomplish his goals, while never taking offense if he chooses not to use your suggestions.
  6. Considering his work, goals, hobbies, and religious duties more important than your own.

As I’ve explained, these expectations weren’t just fringe ideas—they were central to the teachings of Biblical Counseling, widely embraced within the Southern Baptist Convention and many non-denominational churches. What I experienced wasn’t just about a partnership; it was about submission—unquestioning and absolute. The woman’s role was essentially to serve her husband’s needs and desires, no matter the cost to her own identity or autonomy.

But perhaps one of the most chilling aspects of this program was a statement that underscored the complete denial of personal rights. The workbook stated that humble people have “no rights” in Christ—only responsibilities. It referenced Philippians 2:3-8 to justify this perspective.

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

The workbook then presented a list of “rights” that were seen as sinful or selfish to claim in this context. Some of the rights included:

  • The right to control personal belongings
  • The right to privacy
  • The right to express personal opinions
  • The right to earn and use money
  • The right to plan your own schedule
  • The right to respect
  • The right to be married, protected, appreciated, desired, and treated fairly
  • The right to travel, to have a good education, to be beautiful

There were over thirty items on this list. This wasn’t just a list of personal sacrifices; it was a grooming tool that laid the groundwork for further abuse and manipulation under the guise of spiritual obedience.

These teachings were not about partnership, love, or mutual respect. They were about control, and they left no room for the dignity and rights of individuals, especially women.

If you want to dive deeper into the power dynamics at play in these teachings, I highly recommend listening to this podcast that breaks down the power play behind these ideologies.

A study on women’s anger found that common triggers for anger in women include feelings of helplessness, not being listened to, perceived injustice, and the irresponsibility of others. Instead of addressing these genuine concerns, ACBC’s authoritarian approach often pushes women to submit further, casting aside their voices and their safety in favor of a misguided spiritual ideal. This not only exacerbates their mental health but creates an environment ripe for spiritual abuse.

Corporal Punishment and Legal Definitions of Abuse

A major component of ACBC’s teachings also intersects with the controversial use of corporal punishment, where a thin line between discipline and abuse is often blurred. In some evangelical communities, particularly those influenced by ACBC’s authoritarian doctrines, corporal punishment is defended as a necessary part of biblical discipline, despite overwhelming legal and psychological evidence that physical discipline can have long-term harmful effects.

One of the most enduring arguments for corporal punishment is the misquoted phrase, “Spare the rod, spoil the child.” However, this phrase does not originate from the Bible. It comes from a 17th-century satirical poem by Samuel Butler, Hudibras. Despite this, it continues to be used in evangelical circles to justify spanking, whipping, and other forms of physical punishment.

The Bible passages often cited to defend corporal punishment—Proverbs 13:24, 22:15, 23:13-14, 29:15, and Hebrews 12:5-13—are frequently interpreted in a rigid, literal manner by proponents of corporal punishment. However, this literal approach is a key part of what historian Mark Noll refers to as “the scandal of the evangelical mind.” This narrow hermeneutic reflects a resistance to modern biblical criticism, science, and intellectual inquiry. It prioritizes a literal interpretation of scripture without considering the historical, cultural, and literary context of these texts. As a result, the teachings of scripture are applied in ways that disregard the broader ethical and psychological implications of corporal punishment.

Despite the continued justification for corporal punishment in these circles, modern research overwhelmingly shows its harmful effects. Studies indicate that physical discipline can lead to increased aggression, mental health issues, and weakened parent-child relationships. Yet, many evangelicals remain unwilling to reconsider this harmful tradition, which reflects a broader resistance within conservative Christianity to engage with contemporary understandings of psychology, trauma recovery, and legal definitions of abuse.

To clarify what constitutes abuse, Congress enacted the Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) in 1974, defining physical abuse as:

The infliction of physical injuries such as bruises, burns, welts, cuts, bone and skull fractures, caused by kicking, punching, biting, beating, knifing, strapping, and paddling.

Despite this clear legal definition, corporal punishment remains legal in all 50 states, with 19 states still allowing paddling in schools. This creates a disturbing disconnect: what is considered child abuse in some settings (such as foster care) is still widely accepted in evangelical homes and schools, even when it causes lasting harm to children.

This tension highlights the problematic nature of ACBC’s teachings, which sometimes encourage discipline methods that can be classified as abusive under legal definitions. Rather than fostering healthy relationships between parents and children, these practices often reinforce cycles of harm and emotional neglect, contributing to the very psychological issues ACBC claims to address. The refusal to acknowledge these realities creates a fertile ground for continued spiritual and psychological abuse.

The Case of John MacArthur and Grace Community Church (GCC)

One of the most disturbing examples of ACBC counseling practices, combined with the authoritarian culture it fosters, can be seen in the actions of John MacArthur, the pastor of Grace Community Church in Sun Valley, California, and his church’s mishandling of abuse allegations.

MacArthur has long been a proponent of the Nouthetic Counseling model, promoting a brand of counseling that prioritizes submission and forgiveness above all else, even in cases of serious abuse. One such case involves Eileen Gray, a woman who endured severe abuse at the hands of her husband, David Gray, while seeking help from Grace Community Church. Instead of providing support or professional counseling, Eileen was told by church leaders that seeking outside help was “worldly” and wrong.

Eileen’s testimony reveals the disturbing practices within GCC, where she was repeatedly told to forgive her abuser even if he was not repentant. Pastor Carey Hardy, a close associate of MacArthur, allegedly taught Eileen the “threefold promise of forgiveness”—a concept detailed in a booklet by MacArthur himself. According to this model, forgiveness means acting as though the abuse never happened, never bringing it up again, and never sharing it with others. This approach not only trivializes the severity of abuse but also places the onus on the victim to endure suffering for the sake of forgiveness and spiritual purity.

What is perhaps most alarming is the pressure placed on Eileen to allow David back into the home and “model for the children how to suffer for Jesus.” Eileen was told to accept her husband’s abuse and, in a deeply misguided view, to make her children witness this suffering as an example of Christian resilience. When Eileen refused to allow her children to be exposed to further abuse, she was met with resistance and intimidation.

The Revelation of Abuse and MacArthur’s Dismissal

Despite Eileen’s pleas for help, GCC’s response was woefully inadequate. When Eileen eventually sought counsel from Alvin B. Barber, a pastor who had officiated her marriage, Barber corroborated her account of the abusive counseling she had received from Hardy. Barber’s testimony was a damning indictment of both Hardy and the church’s leadership, as he described how Eileen was told to submit to her abuser and accept the abuse as part of her spiritual journey.

Eileen’s refusal to allow her children to remain in an abusive environment ultimately led her to request removal from the church’s membership. However, in a shocking display of disregard for her safety and well-being, Grace Community Church denied her request and continued to maintain her as a member, further compounding the trauma she had already experienced.

In the wake of these revelations, MacArthur’s involvement in the case became a point of contention. While MacArthur publicly denounced David Gray’s actions and supported his conviction, he simultaneously failed to hold his own leadership accountable for their role in enabling the abuse. MacArthur’s contradictory statements and lack of transparency in addressing the failures of his church’s leadership reflect a deeper systemic issue within his ministry: a prioritization of church authority and reputation over the safety and well-being of its members.

The Larger Implications: Spiritual Abuse and Lack of Accountability

The case of Eileen Gray is far from an isolated incident. It highlights a pattern within certain corners of the evangelical church, where women’s voices are silenced, and their suffering is minimized in favor of preserving a theological ideal that values submission and suffering over justice and healing. This pattern can lead to widespread spiritual abuse, where individuals are subjected to harmful advice and counseling that prioritizes conformity over personal well-being.

Furthermore, the lack of accountability for church leaders like John MacArthur, who have enormous influence in evangelical circles, contributes to the perpetuation of this toxic culture. By refusing to acknowledge the harmful consequences of ACBC-style counseling and the dismissive responses to abuse victims, MacArthur and others in positions of power not only fail to protect the vulnerable but also send a message that spiritual authority trumps the dignity and safety of individuals.

In the case of John MacArthur’s response to abuse allegations within his church, we see a chilling example of how religious institutions, under the guise of biblical wisdom, can cause immense harm. Eileen Gray’s story is a reminder of the dangers of theological systems that prioritize submission, forgiveness, and authority without regard for the trauma and suffering of individuals.

As these abuses come to light, it’s essential to continue challenging the status quo and demand greater accountability from religious leaders and organizations that have long been able to operate with impunity. Victims of spiritual abuse must be heard, and their stories must be validated, not dismissed or ignored.

The Bigger Picture: Power, Control, and the Misuse of Forgiveness

Whether we’re talking about institutional abuse, forced forgiveness, corporal punishment, or the rejection of psychology, the common denominator is control.

Evangelicals often claim that therapy “makes people feel like victims”, yet they embrace an even bigger victim narrative—the belief that Christians are under attack, that psychology is a threat, and that questioning church authority is dangerous.

Modern psychology isn’t perfect. Some aspects can promote excessive victimhood narratives. But that doesn’t mean psychology is inherently bad.

What we need is balance:

  • Healing that acknowledges real harm without trapping people in a victim identity.
  • Forgiveness as a choice, not a weapon.
  • Accountability for abusers, not silence for survivors.

Forgiveness should never be used to:

❌ Silence victims

❌ Excuse abuse

❌ Bypass justice

Discipline should never be an excuse for violence.
Faith should never be a shield for abusers.

Final Thoughts

Leaving mainstream Christianity wasn’t about rejecting faith—it was about rejecting an abusive system that prioritizes power over people.

If the church truly cared about justice, it would:

✔️ Prioritize abuse prevention over “cheap grace.”
✔️ Hold abusers accountable instead of demanding forced forgiveness.
✔️ Recognize that psychology isn’t a threat—but unchecked religious authority is.

It’s time to stop justifying harm in the name of God.

If you’re questioning a church’s affiliation with the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC), here are a few ways to check:

  • Ask directly—but be aware that some churches may downplay or obscure their affiliation.
  • Look for “Great Commission Baptists”—a rebranded term used by some SBC churches to distance themselves from controversy.
  • Use the SBC church locator tool online.
  • Investigate whether the church’s pastors were trained at SBC seminaries (e.g., Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary).

But here’s the thing: A new approach is emerging—one that focuses on community-driven solutions to address the consequences of institutional failures. Transparency, accountability, and education are now essential for organizations to operate ethically in the 21st century.

As these movements grow, it’s clear that change is happening. If you’re interested in exploring these shifts, especially within religious institutions, check out the upcoming docuseries dropping this Easter Sunday. It will dive deep into the pressing need for institutional reform, highlighting the intersection of religious nonprofits and the modern world. The series will explore the ethical, financial, and leadership issues many faith-based organizations face today. For more information, visit The Religion Business.

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Breaking down the Power Play:  Women’s Suffrage, Christian patriarchy, and Trad Wife Propaganda

This week, I’m diving headfirst into the turbulent intersection of women’s suffrage, the resurgence of Christian patriarchy, and the trendy ‘trad wife’ movement. Buckle up as we unravel how these historical battles and modern movements collide, revealing their surprising connections—from the ongoing struggle for gender equality to the modern reinvention of traditional roles. Prepare for a journey through past and present that challenges conventional wisdom and ignites critical conversations.

🎧Listen here!

My Deconstruction Journey

In recent months, I’ve explored how radicalization, conspiracies, and religion have shaped my life. In Episode 5 of my podcast, we tackled the “crunchy hippie to alt-right pipeline,” but now it’s time to shine a light on the radicalization of the left—a topic often overlooked. Why did I go from progressive circles to mingling with Trump supporters and Christians? This shift was marked by a range of events and trends reflecting broader changes within progressive movements and their impact on American politics and culture.

Black Lives Matter Protests and Social Justice Movements

The murder of George Floyd ignited the Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement, but what often goes undiscussed is the scrutiny BLM faced over fund management. Allegations of financial mismanagement emerged in 2021, raising questions about how substantial donations were handled. The movement also brought the call to “defund the police” into the spotlight, advocating for reallocating funds to social services and community programs. However, cities like San Francisco, which initially reduced police funding, faced rising crime rates and eventually reinstated funding in 2022, acknowledging that some defunding measures had not achieved their intended outcomes.

Increased Political Activism and the Role of Cancel Culture

The 2020s saw a rise in intersectionality and identity politics, aiming to address overlapping forms of oppression. However, this sometimes led to contentious debates over ideological purity and inclusivity, particularly in online activism. Cancel culture became prominent, with debates over holding public figures accountable for perceived offenses. While some view it as necessary for social justice, others argue it suppresses free speech and stifles constructive dialogue.

Vaccine Hesitancy and the Crunchy-to-Patriarchy Pipeline

My reluctance to receive an experimental vaccine led to severe ostracism, as those hesitant about COVID-19 vaccines often faced dehumanization and cancel culture. This harsh treatment highlighted how cancel culture can suppress nuanced debate and alienate individuals with genuine concerns.

Dr. Stanley Plotkin, a prominent figure in vaccinology, and some of his colleagues recently published an article that has drawn significant attention. The article acknowledges that vaccines are not as thoroughly studied as previously claimed, particularly in terms of safety, both before and after they are licensed. This has raised concerns among critics, who argue that for decades, the public was assured that vaccines underwent rigorous safety testing.

Key points from the article include the admission that prelicensure clinical trials often have limited sample sizes and short follow-up periods, which may not fully capture long-term safety data. Additionally, there are currently no dedicated resources for post-authorization safety studies, relying instead on annual appropriations approved by Congress. This lack of resources for ongoing safety monitoring has been criticized as inadequate, particularly given the widespread use of vaccines.

This revelation has been met with strong reactions, especially from those who have long questioned the rigor of vaccine safety studies. They argue that these acknowledgments confirm their concerns that vaccine safety has not been as thoroughly investigated as it should be.

Read the paper here

In a previous episode, we scratched the surface of the Trad Wife and Stay-at-Home Girlfriend Movements. These movements, advocating traditional gender roles, see them as spiritually fulfilling and empowering, rejecting modern feminism while embracing modern cultural influences. We discussed the fear tactics within this online content that manipulates users by promoting apocalyptic scenarios and moral decay. Today, we’re diving deeper into this topic.

Historical Context and Kitchen Design

Before delving into the 19th Amendment, let’s explore the evolution of kitchen design as a reflection of changing gender roles and societal expectations:

  • Post-Civil War to Early 20th Century (1865-1930s): Kitchens transitioned from being managed by enslaved people to paid workers, with labor-saving appliances emerging and the housewife ideal taking shape.
  • Mid-20th Century (1930s-1960s): The post-WWII era emphasized suburban living and reinforced the housewife’s role as a symbol of the American dream, driven by economic prosperity and suburban expansion.
  • 1974 Bill on Women’s Financial Independence: The Equal Credit Opportunity Act granted women the right to open bank accounts and obtain credit cards in their names, a significant step towards financial equality.

Today’s ‘trad wife’ movement glamorizes the mid-century housewife as a personal choice, not a patriarchal trap. But let’s be real—this nostalgic comeback is less about empowerment and more about rolling back feminist progress, cherry-picking conservative values to fit a romanticized narrative. It’s time to call out the toxicity and acknowledge that the nuclear family ideal doesn’t have to be a patriarchal prison.

Connecting Women’s Suffrage and Christian Nationalism

This week marks the anniversary of the 19th Amendment, a milestone for women’s rights. However, despite granting voting rights, many women of color continued to face disenfranchisement. The rise of ideologies challenging this progress, such as Nancy Pearcey’s claim that women’s suffrage was a net loss, reflects a broader trend of dominionism and Christian nationalism. Pearcey’s book, The Toxic War on Masculinity, embraced by right-wing fundamentalist figures, has been criticized for its logical fallacies and misrepresentation of research.

A Critique of Nancy Pearcey’s The Toxic War on Masculinity

Pearcey argues that the expansion of women’s roles and rights has led to a “war on masculinity,” promoting binary gender stereotypes and overlooking intersectional perspectives. Critics point out that Pearcey’s use of John Gottman’s research is misleading. Gottman’s studies indicate that emotionally intelligent husbands succeed in both egalitarian and hierarchical marriages, but Pearcey omits that her argument falls apart when complementarian men abandon hierarchical behaviors, exposing a significant ideological bias in her work.

Contextualizing These Views

These views reflect a broader conversation within conservative Christian circles about gender roles. Figures like Joel Webbon and Doug Wilson argue against women’s suffrage from a theological standpoint, emphasizing traditional gender roles and critiquing the expansion of women’s public and political presence as contrary to biblical principles. The Southern Baptist Convention’s conservative shift and the rise of New Calvinism further illustrate this trend, as these movements emphasize male-led church governance and promote traditional gender roles.

Motivations Behind the Movements

Supporters of traditional values aim to uphold stability and traditional family roles, rejecting modern feminism and valuing a nurturing home environment. Fear tactics are prevalent in online content that merges wellness with extreme ideologies, manipulating users by promoting fear of worldly dangers, apocalyptic scenarios, or spiritual consequences.

Historical Precedents: Satanic Panic and Moral Panics

Movements like the Satanic Panic of the 1980s and ’90s stoked fears of occult influences, leading to widespread moral panic. Similarly, today’s online narratives can exaggerate or fabricate threats to bolster ideological adherence, using fears of societal collapse or moral decay to urge followers towards conservative values.

Personal Reflections: Manipulation and Belonging

I remember the day I was first drawn into evangelical Christianity. It wasn’t through logic or a carefully reasoned argument; it was through the power of a story—a testimony, to be exact. The speaker shared a dramatic tale of transformation, from the depths of despair and darkness into the light of salvation. Her voice trembled with emotion, and tears glistened in her eyes as she described the overwhelming peace and joy she found in Christ. I was captivated. It wasn’t just a story; it was a call, a plea for me to experience the same miraculous change.

The manipulation was subtle but powerful. The emotions stirred within me were intense, almost overwhelming. I felt a sense of urgency, as if my own life depended on making the same decision she had. It was as though I could feel the darkness closing in on me, and the only escape was to step into the light she described so vividly. Fear played a significant role in this manipulation. I was warned of the dire consequences of rejecting this path, of the eternal damnation that awaited those who turned away. This fear was not just for my soul but for my life here and now. I was told that without Jesus, I would continue to live in confusion, loneliness, and despair.

What made it all the more compelling was the promise of belonging. I had always felt somewhat out of place, disconnected from those around me. But here was a community that promised acceptance, a family where I would always belong. The concept of biblical femininity and submission was introduced as a path to fulfillment, as a way to finally fit into a role that had been designed specifically for me by God. I was told that by embracing my role as a submissive wife and mother, I would find true happiness and purpose.

But looking back, I realize how these tactics exploited my vulnerabilities. The emotional manipulation, the fear-based messaging, and the promise of belonging were all tools used to mold me into someone I wasn’t. They weren’t concerned with my true self; they wanted to shape me into their image of the ideal Christian woman—submissive, obedient, and unquestioning.

What’s more disturbing is how these tactics aren’t unique to evangelical Christianity. I’ve since learned that similar strategies are employed in other religions, such as Islam. I’m sure you’re like me, and have heard that it is the fastest growing religion, but have you looked into the pew research into why? There’s a growing pressure on women within some Islamic communities to recruit other women. They shower potential converts with love, bombarding them with messages of acceptance and sisterhood. It’s all designed to draw them in, to make them feel special and chosen. Once they’re in, the pressure to marry and fulfill their role as a wife and mother can be intense. Just as I was drawn into a community that promised to complete me, these women are often led to believe that their worth is tied to their role within the family and the broader religious community.

The parallels are striking. Both exploit the human need for connection and purpose. Both use emotional manipulation and fear to control and convert. And both can lead to a loss of self, where the individual’s identity is subsumed by the demands of the group.

Reflecting on my experience has been painful, but it’s also been empowering. I now see how I was manipulated, how my fears and desires were used against me. And I’m committed to helping others recognize these tactics for what they are—tools of control, not pathways to truth.

Delving into Christian Interpretations of Morals and Values

As we wrap up today’s discussion, let’s delve into the complexities surrounding Christian interpretations of morals and values, particularly through the lens of historical and cultural relativism. Critics of biblical revelation question the reliability and authenticity of the biblical manuscripts, highlighting the human elements that have shaped the text’s transmission and interpretation.

Read more here on why I think Biblical Inerrancy is harmful.

When it comes to contentious issues like abortion, the selective interpretations of scripture used by some pro-life Christians illustrate a broader trend of reconciling faith with personal and societal values. Historically, Christian views on abortion were more diverse and often more permissive, with significant shifts occurring in the 1970s with the rise of the Religious Right.

Reflecting on these issues, Niel Van Lewen pointed out an intriguing observation: the pro-life stance might often function more as a signaling mechanism than a genuine, consistent commitment to protecting life. This dichotomy suggests that pro-life evangelicals might seek to pass laws protecting unborn embryos while avoiding practical measures—like universal daycare—that could significantly reduce the number of abortions.

This illustrates the ethical and scriptural inconsistencies surrounding the pro-life stance. By examining these discrepancies, we gain a clearer understanding of the challenges inherent in reconciling pro-life advocacy with practical, compassionate approaches to supporting life.

The Trad Wife Controversy: Unpacking Traditional Values in Modern Contexts

The discussion around traditional values and gender roles is gaining momentum, and the “trad wife” movement sits at the heart of this debate. One prime example that brings these ideals to light is the Ballerina Farm controversy, a social media phenomenon showcasing a curated version of traditional domestic life. This aligns closely with the trad wife ideals, which have faced criticism for romanticizing a regressive view on gender roles.

The Ballerina Farm Controversy: Empowerment or Regression?

Ballerina Farm presents a vision of traditional domestic life that resonates with many who see it as an empowering choice. However, it also faces criticism for glamorizing roles that are deeply rooted in patriarchal norms. Houseinhabit, a popular commentator, argues that Ballerina Farm isn’t about regression but about choice. She suggests that Hannah Neeleman, the face behind Ballerina Farm, embodies success measured not by corporate titles but by personal contentment and family harmony, grounded in her faith. This perspective emphasizes that true feminism should respect the diverse paths women take, fostering understanding rather than division.

The Patriarchal Norms Behind the Ideal

While Houseinhabit’s perspective is important, it’s crucial to examine the patriarchal underpinnings of such movements. Practices that might seem problematic to outsiders—like Daniel’s rushed engagement and control over Hannah’s education—are often normalized within their cultural context. These actions reflect broader adherence to patriarchal values, including homeschooling with a Christian Mormon syllabus, underscoring a commitment to traditional gender roles.

Mormon Influencers: A New Recruitment Strategy?

Adding another layer to this discussion is the role of Mormon influencers in social media recruitment. Recent research reveals how the LDS Church uses social media to attract new recruits, with influencers, particularly families, promoting Mormonism on platforms like Instagram and YouTube. This strategy leverages the appeal of traditional family values and domestic harmony to attract a broader audience. The Church’s use of influencers as a recruitment tool highlights the appealing aspects of traditional lifestyles while potentially overshadowing the complexities and criticisms associated with these roles.

Media, Tradition, and Patriarchy

This interplay between traditional values and modern media illustrates a broader societal pattern where the presentation of traditional roles can obscure their roots in patriarchal structures. Media portrayals, while sometimes uncomfortable, are not about dehumanizing individuals but about revealing systemic issues. Often, patriarchal norms are defended as personal choices, overlooking the deep societal influences at play. If gender roles were reversed, these issues might become more apparent, prompting a need for more nuanced discussions on how traditional values intersect with contemporary gender dynamics.

My Experience with Patriarchal Ideologies

Critically evaluating such content is essential, as these narratives can have far-reaching implications for personal beliefs and societal attitudes. From my own experience with evangelical Christianity, I was involved in a biblical counseling program that reinforced patriarchal control, severely limiting my autonomy. In one workbook, I was given an excerpt from The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace, which outlined ways a wife should glorify her husband. The expectations included:

  1. Asking your husband about his goals for the week.
  2. Organizing household duties meticulously, prioritizing your husband’s needs over everything else.
  3. Talking about him positively to others, regardless of the truth.

These teachings were not just fringe ideas but central resources within Biblical Counseling, the Southern Baptist Convention, and many non-denominational churches. This ideology, deeply woven into church communities, perpetuates a system where a wife’s identity and value are entirely subdued under her husband’s goals and image.

The Harmful Implications of Patriarchal Ideologies

  1. Idolatry of the Husband: Obeying a husband is equated with obeying God, placing the husband in the position of an idol. This subordinates divine will to a human figure, distorting spiritual faith and leaving no room for a wife’s autonomy or moral agency.
  2. A Warped View of Womanhood: Women are seen as more susceptible to deception, and their rightful place is akin to a ‘slave’ who should expect no recognition. Basic human desires, like wanting to be treated with kindness, are labeled as ‘idolatrous.’
  3. Enabling Abuse: The book glorifies suffering within marriage as a form of righteousness, encouraging women to endure cruelty and manipulation. This traps women in dangerous, often life-threatening, situations by positioning divorce as rebellion and making church discipline the first recourse instead of contacting authorities.
  4. Stigmatizing Mental Health Care: Seeking professional help is equated with a lack of faith, alienating women from essential support systems that could help them navigate emotional and psychological challenges.

These ideas, while well-intentioned, perpetuate a system where the wife’s identity and value are entirely subdued under her husband’s goals and image. The dangerous implications of this ideology are not confined to overtly religious communities. Similar themes of female submission are found in movements rejecting modern egalitarian values in favor of a constructed ideal of natural order, which often masks deeply patriarchal and oppressive beliefs.

The Bigger Picture: Understanding the Trad Wife Trend

The trad wife trend isn’t just a nostalgic yearning for the past; it’s a deliberate effort to reinstate rigid gender roles that diminish women’s rights and freedoms. By critically examining resources like The Excellent Wife and drawing connections to broader social and cultural trends, we can better understand and challenge the insidious nature of this propaganda.

For those still in the church, it’s crucial to stand up against these harmful teachings. From my own experience, gender norms that emphasize tenderness over assertiveness hinder a woman’s ability to address unfair treatment effectively. Women submitting to their husbands is a dangerous ideology. Research shows that conservative, highly religious men are far more likely to perpetrate intimate partner violence. Hypermasculinity is one of the most powerful predictors of men’s likelihood to commit assault, and couples where the husband dominates decision-making processes are more likely to experience lower marital satisfaction.

Liberation and Progress

The liberation of women from oppression is crucial for fostering a more equitable and just society. When women are fully liberated, they can contribute their talents, perspectives, and skills to all aspects of life, including politics, economics, and culture. This liberation not only benefits women individually but also leads to societal progress by dismantling systemic barriers and promoting inclusivity.

Conclusion: Opening the Dialogue

I invite you to join the dialogue about gender, family, and cultural norms. Have you observed or encountered these dynamics? As a collective, we cannot ignore the role of algorithms and social media in amplifying compelling narratives and creating echo chambers. Understanding the motivations behind these movements allows us to engage in meaningful dialogue and advocate for continued advancements in gender equality.

Through my journey of deconstructing abuse within the church, I’ve realized that complementarianism, often presented as a theological stance, is fundamentally patriarchal and a root cause of oppression and abuse. Navigating these dynamics helps us grapple with the complexities of today’s ideological landscapes and invites us to critically evaluate how historical precedents and technological influences continue to shape our beliefs and societal structures.

Thank you for joining me in this exploration of faith, ideology, and societal change. Let’s continue to question, reflect, and engage with the world around us. And as always, maintain your curiosity, embrace skepticism, and keep tuning in.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2024/01/06/a-psychologist-explains-the-dangers-of-the-tradwife-movement/?sh=42f211f79c3b

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19th Amendment ‑ Definition, Passage & Summary | HISTORY

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