In today’s world, friendships across moral and political divides may feel rare or even impossible. Yet, building these connections is crucial—not only for personal growth but for fostering a more understanding society. Here are some insights on how we can navigate friendships with those who think differently from us.

1. Prioritize Love and Respect

At the core, friendship is about mutual respect and care. This means loving people for who they are, not just for what they believe. We need to honor each other’s freedom to hold different beliefs and embrace their right to express those views. Friendship doesn’t require absolute agreement, but it does ask for compassion and understanding.

2. Don’t Demand Conformity

Friendship shouldn’t come with a contract that mandates agreement on all things. We shouldn’t require others to conform to our beliefs to be friends, and we shouldn’t yield to pressure to abandon our views just to fit in. True friendship allows for genuine individuality and respects each person’s journey and perspectives.

3. Be Open to Being Challenged—and to Challenging

Healthy friendships can—and should—include respectful debates. This means both parties are open to being challenged and not just the ones delivering the challenge. Friendships across ideological lines help us see our own potential blind spots and remind us of our shared humanity, even when we stand on opposing sides.

4. Avoid Manipulation

Good friends don’t manipulate or control the terms of a discussion. They don’t police each other’s language or attempt to steer the debate to “win.” They allow space for differing points of view, even if it means hearing arguments they might strongly disagree with. Friends listen, give feedback, and respect each other’s right to speak freely.

5. Beware of Becoming an Ideologue

If we’re unable to maintain friendships with those who disagree with us, it may be a sign that we’ve become too rigid in our own beliefs. Ideologues view every conversation as a battleground for their opinions rather than an opportunity to learn. Friendships across divides remind us to remain curious and to avoid slipping into dogmatism.

6. Understand Fallibility Beyond Theory

While many of us recognize, at least in theory, that we’re fallible, true humility shows when our beliefs are challenged. Can we accept the possibility that we may be wrong, even on topics that feel core to our identity? Genuine friendship requires this humility and the strength to accept another person’s differing viewpoint, especially when it stirs discomfort in us.

7. Recognize the Difficulty of Questioning Core Beliefs

When our most cherished beliefs are questioned, it’s natural to feel defensive. Yet it’s precisely in these moments that our strength of character is tested. Friendships can push us to reevaluate and deepen our beliefs, encouraging growth rather than pushing us further into echo chambers.

8. Embrace Truth-Seeking Together

True friends are fellow truth-seekers. They recognize their own fallibility and are open to being both the teacher and the student. They know that their own opinions aren’t the ultimate truth and welcome the exchange of ideas as a chance to grow, rather than as a threat to their identity.

9. Keep Political Conversations Civil and Honest

When it comes to political discussions, the words we choose can either bridge gaps or deepen divides. Friends owe each other honest, civil conversations that seek understanding rather than victory. This means resisting the temptation to label or demean each other with polarizing terms like “garbage,” “racist,” “fascist,” or “woke.” Labels like these oversimplify complex views, reducing people to caricatures and shutting down the opportunity for real dialogue. Instead, approach each conversation with a focus on reasons, providing evidence, and respect, valuing your friend’s perspective even if you don’t share it. In doing so, we uphold the true spirit of friendship and foster a more thoughtful, understanding discourse.

These 9 ideas were inspired by Robert P. Georg McCormick Professor.

In a world that seems increasingly divided, friendships that embrace disagreement are more valuable than ever. These friendships allow us to maintain our individuality while deepening our understanding and empathy. So, yes, we can—and should—be friends with those whose beliefs are vastly different from our own. It may be challenging, but the reward is a friendship built on respect, humility, and a shared commitment to growth.