Anger itself isn’t fundamentally a sin; it’s a normal human emotion. However, as many of you know, I experienced spiritual abuse through ACBC Biblical counseling, also known as Nouthetic Counseling. This form of counseling, frequently used by the high-control religion I was part of, often employs various tactics to manipulate individuals into suppressing their anger.

High control religions often manipulate individuals against feeling anger by employing several tactics:
1. **Guilt and Shame**: They teach that anger is sinful or a sign of personal weakness, inducing guilt and shame in individuals who feel it.

2. **Doctrine and Indoctrination**: They emphasize doctrines that label anger as negative or spiritually harmful, encouraging followers to suppress it.

3. **Surveillance and Confession**: Constant surveillance and confession practices make individuals self-police their emotions, including anger.

4. **Isolation**: Isolating individuals from outside influences that might validate their feelings, keeping them within an echo chamber that reinforces the group’s views.

5. **Emotional Suppression**: Promoting emotional suppression as a virtue, advocating for calmness and forgiveness in all situations, often to the detriment of the individual’s mental health. 

These methods can deeply impact personal autonomy and emotional well-being, making it difficult for individuals to express or even recognize their anger.

In many religious and philosophical traditions, it’s acknowledged that feeling anger is a normal part of human experience. What can make anger sinful or morally problematic is how one responds to it and the actions it provokes.

The philosopher Aristotle described anger as a passion that, when experienced and expressed appropriately, can be virtuous.

The key is to be angry for the right reasons and in the right way.

Anger is understood as a normal emotional response to perceived threats or injustices. It’s part of the body’s natural fight-or-flight response and can be constructive when it motivates problem-solving and assertiveness.

Yet, High control religions often manipulate feelings of anger by framing them as sinful or spiritually harmful. They may discourage members from expressing anger or dissent, promoting instead the idea of forgiveness and submission to authority. Additionally, they may use guilt or shame to suppress anger, portraying it as a sign of weakness or lack of faith.

In extreme cases, anger may be labeled as a tool of the devil or a hindrance to spiritual growth, further reinforcing control over members’ emotions.

Suppressing anger can lead to negative health effects and mental distress, while constructive expression of anger can lead to positive change and resolution of conflicts.

Gender Roles & Expectations

• Boys: Anger is often viewed as a more acceptable and natural response. They are frequently socialized to see anger as a sign of strength or assertiveness.

This can lead to a normalization of more aggressive behaviors and a lack of encouragement to explore other emotional responses.

• Girls: In contrast, girls are often discouraged from expressing anger and are instead encouraged to use “nicer voices” or to remain calm and composed.

This reinforces traditional gender roles that value submissiveness, agreeableness, and emotional labor from women.

• From a young age, girls are socialized to prioritize the needs of others and maintain harmony in relationships. Being assertive or expressing anger can be seen as disruptive to these social expectations.

• Boys, on the other hand, might not receive the same level of guidance on emotional regulation, particularly concerning emotions like vulnerability or sadness, which are often socially discouraged in males.

• From a young age, girls are socialized to prioritize the needs of others and maintain harmony in relationships. Being assertive or expressing anger can be seen as disruptive to these social expectations.
• Boys, on the other hand, might not receive the same level of guidance on emotional regulation, particularly concerning emotions like vulnerability or sadness, which are often socially discouraged in males.

Long-term Consequences:

The reinforcement of these gender roles can perpetuate a cycle where men and women struggle with different aspects of emotional health. Men might face challenges in expressing vulnerability, while women might struggle with assertiveness and setting boundaries.

In professional and personal relationships, these dynamics can lead to power imbalances and communication issues, affecting everything from career advancement to personal satisfaction.

The way anger and other emotions are socially regulated based on gender reinforces traditional gender roles and affects the emotional development of individuals.

Recognizing and addressing these biases can lead to healthier emotional expressions and relationships for both men and women.

Sources:

Fierce Self compassion by Kristin Neff, PhD

Survey of Communication Study/Chapter 13 – Gender Communication – Wikibooks, open books for an open world

Exploring how religion suppresses emotions involves examining religious teachings, cultural practices, and the interpretation of sacred texts. Here are some resources that delve into this topic from various perspectives:

Books:

1. “The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love” by bell hooks
   • This book discusses how cultural norms, often influenced by religious teachings, shape the emotional lives of men, encouraging the suppression of vulnerability and emotional expression.
2. “Emotion and Religion: A Critical Assessment and Annotated Bibliography” by John Corrigan
   • This comprehensive work explores the complex relationship between emotion and religion, providing both theoretical discussions and annotated references for further research.
3. “Holy Tears: Weeping in the Religious Imagination” edited by Kimberley Christine Patton and John Stratton Hawley
   • This collection of essays examines the role of tears and emotional expression in various religious traditions, offering insights into how certain emotions are both encouraged and suppressed.
4. “The Varieties of Religious Experience” by William James
   • Although an older text, James’ exploration of religious experiences includes discussions on how different religions view and handle emotions, including suppression.

Articles:

1. “Emotion Regulation in Religious Contexts” by Edward R. Canda in the Journal of Religion and Health
   • This article examines how religious contexts influence emotional regulation, including both the suppression and expression of emotions.
2. “Religious Influences on Emotion Regulation” by Richard S. Lazarus in the book “Handbook of Emotions”
   • This chapter discusses how different religious traditions guide the regulation of emotions, often promoting certain emotions while suppressing others.
3. “Religiosity and Emotion Regulation” by Charlotte van Schie and Michiel van Elk in Frontiers in Psychology
   • This research article explores how religiosity influences emotional regulation strategies, including suppression.

Academic Papers and Theses:

1. “Emotion Suppression in Religion: A Study of Christian, Jewish, and Muslim Communities”
   • This thesis (or dissertation) might be found through university libraries and explores how different religious communities approach emotion suppression.
2. “The Role of Religion in Emotion Regulation: Insights from a Psychological Perspective” by Kevin L. Ladd and Bernard Spilka in the International Journal for the Psychology of Religion
   • This paper provides a psychological perspective on how religious beliefs and practices affect emotional regulation, including suppression.

Online Resources:

1. Pew Research Center: Religion & Public Life
   • Pew Research often publishes studies and reports on the intersection of religion and various aspects of life, including emotional health and expression.
2. Psychology Today: Religion and Spirituality
   • This section of the Psychology Today website features articles on how religion impacts emotional well-being, including the suppression of emotions.
3. The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy: “Emotion in Christian Philosophy”
   • This entry explores how Christian philosophy has historically viewed emotions and their expression or suppression.

These resources offer a broad overview of how different religious traditions and interpretations can influence the suppression of emotions. They provide insights from psychological, sociological, and theological perspectives.