I am in the process of “disentangling” my faith and it feels like vertigo.

Deconstruction is a scary world, but it doesn’t have to be. Deconstruction does not have to mean deconverting.

The deconstruction of Christianity is something I’ve heard of since stepping into the world of theology, but I never thought I’d find myself smack dab in the middle of the movement.

Disentangling or Deconstruction is a phenomenon where individuals, often within the Christian faith, critically reevaluate their beliefs, doctrines, and practices. This process involves questioning and challenging long-held assumptions, teachings, and traditions within Christianity, with the goal of arriving at a more authentic and personally meaningful understanding of faith.

There were numerous aspects that led me to begin unraveling, the real smack upside the head, realizing I was within a spiritual abusive biblical counseling relationship and program, that led me to notice the brutal similarities of abuse within IHOPKC, the scandals within the Grace Community Church & ACBC Biblical/Nouthetic counseling….

Here are some brief insights into the podcast that’ll be dropping on April 30th that’ll convey much more!

  1. Purity Culture – Rick Thomas Podcast Episode:
    • Explore the impact of purity culture on individuals’ beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors regarding sexuality and relationships.
    • Discuss Rick Thomas’s perspective on purity culture and its potential effects on emotional and psychological well-being.
    • Address common criticisms and concerns raised about purity culture, including its emphasis on shame, guilt, and unrealistic expectations.
  2. ACBC Biblical Counseling and John MacArthur Situation:
    • Examine the controversy surrounding the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC) and its leadership, particularly in light of allegations of manipulation and control tactics.
    • Discuss the implications of John MacArthur’s involvement, ACBC and the potential harm caused by authoritarian leadership within religious organizations.
    • Discuss MacArthur’s dismissive response to Wendy’s accusations, the confrontation and revelation of Paul Guay’s abuse, GCC’s inadequate response to the abuse, MacArthur’s involvement and contradictory statements, MacArthur’s public shaming of Eileen Gray, the elders’ dismissal of Gray’s abuse allegations, David Gray’s conviction and MacArthur’s support, Alistair Begg’s controversial advice and MacArthur’s response, and the lack of accountability for MacArthur’s actions.
    • Explore various forms of abuse, including emotional, psychological, and spiritual, and the LACK OF ACCOUNTABILITY OR REFORM happening within churches and religious institutions.
    •  MacArthur’s views on slavery are HORRIFIC.
    • WHY IS IT protocol for the Church to Put a Marital Rape Victim under Church Discipline?
    • I was enrolled in Change that Sticks an abusive ACBC biblical counseling program that stripped me away of autonomy and treated any mental health condition as SIN that needed to be repented of, and not a real condition. Biblical counseling is dangerous, unethical and immoral.
  3. Rise and Fall of Mars Hill and Mark Driscoll:
    • Analyze the rise and fall of Mars Hill Church and its founder, Mark Driscoll, as documented in the podcast series “The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill.”
    • Examine the leadership style and behavior of Mark Driscoll, including allegations of authoritarianism, bullying, and spiritual abuse.
    • Discuss the lessons learned from the Mars Hill saga and the broader implications for accountability and ethical leadership within religious organizations.
  4. Learning more about Dominion theology & Christian nationalism. They are related but distinct movements within Christianity, both of which emphasize the idea of Christians playing a prominent role in shaping society and culture according to their religious beliefs. Prominent adherents of those ideologies include Calvinist Christian reconstructionism (Doug Wilson, Costi Hinn, John MacArthur, John Piper, Charlie Kirk) Charismatic and Pentecostal Kingdom Now theology, (7 Mountain Mandate) and the New Apostolic Reformation. How insane is it that this conservative group THRIVES on calling out “false Christians” and making a mockery of Pentecostals, while they are part of the very same theology, if not WORSE, because Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood/complementarianism is patriarchal and misogynistic at heart, and all of this is connected to the Lordship Salvation controversary (a rabbit hole you need to go down) and my next point:
  5. Nancy’s Pearcy’s book-Toxic War on Masculinity Being Mostly a Lie:
    • Oversimplification of Gender Issues: Critics argue that Pearcey’s book oversimplifies complex gender issues by framing them as a “war on masculinity.” They suggest that this framing perpetuates a binary view of gender and fails to adequately address the diverse experiences and identities of individuals across the gender spectrum.
    • Perpetuating Gender Stereotypes: Critics contend that Pearcey’s characterization of masculinity as under attack reinforces traditional gender stereotypes and norms, which may contribute to harmful social expectations and restricts the freedom of individuals to express their gender identity authentically.
    • Lack of Intersectionality: Some critics argue that Pearcey’s analysis lacks intersectionality, as it fails to consider how factors such as race, class, sexuality, and disability intersect with gender to shape individuals’ experiences and social realities. This omission may result in a limited understanding of the complexity of gender dynamics.
    • Absence of Empirical Evidence: Critics point out that Pearcey’s arguments often rely on anecdotal evidence or selective examples, rather than rigorous empirical research, to support her claims about masculinity. This approach may undermine the credibility of her analysis and limit its applicability to broader social contexts.
    • Ideological Bias: Some critics suggest that Pearcey’s perspective reflects a conservative or right-wing ideological bias, as she tends to frame gender issues within a traditional Christian worldview. This ideological framing may alienate readers with different religious or philosophical beliefs and limit the book’s appeal to a narrow audience.
    • Nancy claimed in the book and on a podcast interview that women’s suffrage was a net loss!!!!! This is part of Dominion Theology
  6. Perspectives shifted of David Wolcott, Alisa Childers, and Frank Turek:
    • We will examine the perspectives of David Wolcott, Alisa Childers, and Frank Turek, who are often associated with right-wing fundamentalist Christianity.
    • Critically evaluate their views on theology, culture, and social issues, and explore the implications of their beliefs on religious discourse and public policy.
    • Consider the diversity of opinions within the Christian community and the need for respectful dialogue and engagement across ideological divides.

and that’s what started this insane rabbit hole I’ve now spent the last 6 weeks researching/reading 5-6 hours day, reading books, watching interviews, studying from biblical scholars outside of my tradition & my mind is truly blown. Pages and pages of notes. Have I settled on anything, NO, I haven’t, but just the fact that I don’t know, is a belief change, and that’s all I can really tell you, right now.

#religiousdeconstruction #faithdeconstruction #religioustrauma #deconstruction #deconstructingfaith #faithreconstruction #evolvingfaith #churchhurt #faithandmentalhealth #christiancoach #faithreconstructioncoach #toxicchristiancultures #deconstructionjourney #faithjourney #recoveringfrompurityculture #purityculture #purityculturesurvivor #purityculturerecovery #deconstructpurityculture

Exploring the Gray Area: Between Cults and High-Control Environments

Exploring the Gray Area

The distinction between cults and high-control groups can be somewhat nuanced, as both share many characteristics related to manipulation, authoritarianism, and the exertion of control over members.

Exploring the gray area between cults and high-control environments can be challenging due to several factors.

Firstly, defining what constitutes a cult or a high-control environment can be subjective and complex, as there is no universally agreed-upon definition. This ambiguity can make it difficult to draw clear boundaries between the two.

Secondly, both cults and high-control environments often use subtle tactics of manipulation and influence, making it challenging to recognize when individuals are being subjected to undue influence or coercion.

Additionally, individuals within these environments may be deeply invested emotionally, financially, or socially, which can cloud their perception and make it challenging to acknowledge the extent of control exerted over them.

Furthermore, there may be societal stigma or shame associated with admitting involvement in a cult or high-control environment, which can deter individuals from seeking help or speaking out about their experiences.

Here are some key signs of a high control group to look out for:

Navigating the gray area between cults and high-control environments requires careful consideration, empathy, and an understanding of the nuanced dynamics at play. Here is a side-by-side graphic to help demonstrate the similarities and differences:

Understanding high-control environments and the differences between cults is important for several reasons:

  1. Protecting Individuals: High-control environments can exert significant influence over individuals, potentially leading to exploitation, abuse, and manipulation. By understanding the characteristics of these environments, individuals can recognize warning signs and protect themselves and others from harm.
  2. Promoting Awareness: Many people may not realize when they are in a high-control environment or may be hesitant to label their experiences as cult-like. Educating the public about the traits and tactics used in these environments can increase awareness and empower individuals to identify and address problematic situations.
  3. Supporting Recovery: For those who have been involved in high-control environments or cults, understanding the dynamics at play can be crucial for recovery and healing. Recognizing that their experiences were part of a larger pattern of manipulation can validate survivors’ experiences and provide a framework for processing their trauma.
  4. Preventing Recruitment: By raising awareness about the tactics used in high-control environments and cults, communities can work to prevent vulnerable individuals from being recruited or radicalized. This includes providing education and support to those at risk and promoting critical thinking skills to resist manipulation tactics.
  5. Protecting Democratic Values: High-control environments and cults can pose a threat to democratic values such as individual autonomy, freedom of thought, and diversity of belief. Understanding these dynamics is essential for safeguarding democratic principles and promoting social cohesion.

Overall, understanding high-control environments and the differences between cults is essential for protecting individuals, promoting awareness, supporting recovery, preventing recruitment, and safeguarding democratic values.

What are the signs of spiritual gaslighting?

Gaslighting phrases can unfortunately occur in any context, including within religious communities. Here are some examples of common gaslighting phrases that may be used within church settings:

  • “You’re just being too sensitive.”
  • “That’s not what the Bible says.”
  • “You’re questioning God’s will.”
  • “You’re overreacting.”
  • “You must have misunderstood.”
  • “You’re just seeking attention.”
  • “You’re letting the devil deceive you.”
  • “You need to have more faith.”
  • “You’re not praying hard enough.”
  • “You’re making things up.”
  • “You’re being disobedient to God.”
  • “You’re just looking for excuses.”
  • “You’re being divisive.”
  • “You’re being ungrateful.”
  • “You’re causing problems in the church.”

Gaslighting is one of the most misused tools to shut people down and shut them up. In the church, these gaslighting phrases get overlooked because they sound spiritual. The truth is they are just ways to control people, their actions, and the narrative around abusive behaviors. Jesus listened to hurting people, and we must learn how to listen.

It’s important to recognize and address gaslighting behaviors in any context, including within religious communities, to promote healthy and respectful communication.

Listen to Episode 002 of @church_disrupted where they expose toxic gaslighting phrases & behaviors!

Have you experienced gaslighting within the church before?

🏷️ #church #churchhurt #spiritualjourney #narcissist #acts29 #ihopkc #decontruction #newagetojesus #faith #biblical #spiritualgrowth #acbc #deconstructionist #fundamentalism #gaslightingawareness #gaslightingisabuse #gaslight #toxicbehavior #toxicrelationships #toxic #explorepage #mentalhealthawareness #biblicalmarriage #biblicalwisdom #biblicalfemininity #feminity